Communist Umpire Ruins All-Star Game On First Play

I'm sorry: is this, or is this not, Derek Jeter's night? Are we not saying farewell to The Captain tonight? Someone better get the umpires on board then, because on the second goddamned pitch of the game, Derek Sanderson Jeter went to his motherfucking left and snagged a rocket off the bat of Andrew McCutchen. He then leapt to his feet like a 22-year-old and fired a bullet to first base where he clearly probably maybe threw out made it close did not receive the benefit of the doubt and McCutchen was ruled safe. Outrageous.