Joey Chestnut retained the mustard-yellow belt and broke his own record with an astounding 69 hot dogs today at Coney Island, earning the praise of competitive eating mavens worldwide as he cruised to his seventh straight victory at Nathan's.

He also earned the praise of ESPN commentators Paul Page and Rich Shea, who we think take this all a bit too seriously. After all, everyone in their heart of hearts knows if Kobayashi were permitted to compete, he'd be right there next to Chestnut.

[ESPN]