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We brought you the preliminary details of this courtship in HOTFUCKINGSTOVE yesterday, but we buried the lead. Jeff Francoeur didn't just lure fatass reclamation project du jour Jonathan Broxton to the Kansas City Royals by taking him on a bow-hunting trip. Francoeur lured Broxton by taking him on a bow-hunting trip at Jeff Foxworthy's estate! The Jeff Foxworthy! More »
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From this super-easy-to-follow Fox graphic about "Colby Lewis Travels" — which probably should've been Colby Lewis's Travels, but he has traveled, so whatever — the map indicates he spent a sliver of 2007 in Kansas City, Kansas as a Royals pitcher. More »
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From the Kansas City Star: "Outfielder Bubba Starling was one of three Royals' prospects cited last Saturday for underage drinking...Starling, 19, was a multi-sport standout at Gardner-Edgerton High School prior to his selection as the fifth overall pick in the June draft. He chose the Royals over a football scholarship to Nebraska by agreeing to a club-record $7.5 million signing bonus just prior to the Aug. 15 deadline." More »
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How's this for an unlikely sentence fragment? "Chen won four consecutive starts for the first time in his career..." More »
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Here's how MLB captioned the above video, which appears heartwarming and nurturing and fuzzy and cherubic: "Young Royals fan in pigtails gives foul ball to young Yankees fan not in pigtails." More »
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Kind of a shitty week for Kyle Davies. He went on the disabled list. Wednesday he was cut by the Royals. And now it turns out he was arrested the day before, for disorderly intoxication. More »
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Speed and agility are probably not absolute requirements for employment on the Kansas City grounds crew, but they may come in handy during life- and pride-threatening situations such as this one. Grace, however, does not seem to be in high demand. More »
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Your morning roundup for July 5, the day a monkey stole our camera. More »
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Your morning roundup for June 28, the day we celebrated an extinction. (Photo of Cirque Du Soleil throwing out the first pitch at the Padres game via Getty Images.) More »
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No child to navigate, just some stray kernels, but still: This catch was crazier than Melrose Place. More »
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Your morning roundup for May 18, the day your bros realized they shouldn't have done that, man. Above: Chris Perez makes his case to be the real-life Kenny Powers. Video via The Dugout Sports Show. More »
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Last month, Kansas City Star blogger/reporter Lee Judge wrote that Wilson Betemit should have leaned into a pitch with the bases loaded in a tie game. It wasn't received well, as leaning into the pitch is easy for sportswriters to recommend, while they're sitting comfily at home. More »
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Luckily, "they saw it," the announcer declares — but not until after the Kansas City grounds crew rolled a giant killer tarp over their eager coworker's body. He survived the cylindrical attack with at least a trace of his pride. More »
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Your morning roundup for April 3, the day it became clear that 16-year-old girls at meth labs hope you have rabies. More »
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You know, Sluggerrr is quite terrifying when you really look at him. But no one has more to fear from the Royals mascot than John Coomer, who testified this week that he suffered a severe eye injury when he was the target of a thrown hot dog in 2009. More »
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Yesterday, Nick Wright of 610 AM was interviewing Royals prospect Mike Moustakas when he asked him a wholly innocuous question about possibly starting the season in AAA to delay his arbitration clock. That's when Jason Kendall, not even part of the conversation, jumped in. More »
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In what could prove to be the year's second-worst re-branding effort, the Omaha Royals announced today that they will now be known as the Storm Chasers. The promotional video almost makes it all pathetically endearing, but mostly it's just pathetic. More »
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Twenty-seven years ago today, this happened ... More »
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In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the good people of Kansas City, Mo., who received the 2012 MLB All-Star Game, for some reason. No clear reason, actually. More »
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Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »
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Catching a pop-up one-handed, at shoulder level, looks really cool. As long as you make the catch. Yuniesky Betancourt didn't make the catch, and he was fined for it. This is KC's solution, instead of teaching him the right way. More »
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Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »
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Now you can own the bus that spent the last 20 years shuttling literally tens of Royals fans to Kauffman Stadium. They've steam-cleaned the interior, but they can't quite get rid of the smell of failure. [eBay] More »
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Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Kansas City Royals. More »
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We've been waiting all day for Posnanski to weigh in on Sluggerrr's hot dog mishap. Finally, he puts it in context. (Spoiler alert: it's certainly not out of character for the Royals.) [Posnanski] More »
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Perhaps we know why the Royals need a new Sluggerrr. The last one nearly blinded a guy with a hot dog and got the team sued. He'd get more damages if he'd actually seen the Royals play. [TMZ; photo via] More »
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Aspiring mascots take heed: The Royals need a new "Sluggerrr." Minimum two years experience and an ability to stay awake for nine innings a must. Quality baseball knowledge not necessary (or even preferred.) [Image via Flickr] More »
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It's Zack Greinke by a landslide, which means the Internet won't have the pleasure of yelling at wrongheaded baseball writers until Thursday, when they snub Tim Lincecum. [BBWAA] More »
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This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Kansas City Royals' Kauffman Stadium. More »
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Oh, shit, the Twins just scored four runs. And they look great in those throwbacks! Though honestly you see so many TC hats these days (even in New York!) that I'm seriously missing the lowercase M. Poor Greinke :( More »
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Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »
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The Royals need a worthwhile promotion to draw fans in August. Figurines are too conventional. There must be something else. Hmm. Tough one. How 'bout urine? More »
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Royals lift "ban" on Rany Jazayerli : "[T]here's a big difference between passively resisting my show and actively trying to sabotage my career. Now that the latter possibility is off the table, we're cool." [Rany on the Royals] More »
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Last week, Rany Jazayerli, blogger and baseball propeller-head of note, went after longtime Royals trainer Nick Swartz, stopping just shy of ripping out the man's heart and waving it at the sun. The team didn't take this so well. More »
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Betting on a mid-June AL Central baseball game seems like a brilliant path to financial freedom, but believe it or not, there are dangers. Like a flock of birds attacking Coco Crisp and costing you a $38,000 payday. More »
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Everyone said Eric Wedge was crazy to train wild birds to chase down baseballs in the outfield and distract opposing outfielders. Well, who's the crazy one now, huh? Indians/Birds 1, Royals 0. More »
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Two couples started an all-out brawl at a Kansas City Royals game on Sunday after a woman walked in front another woman as she was taking a picture, a breech of etiquette that clearly deserves a head stomping. If a few kids got hurt along the way, that's just business. More »
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Guy Fieri, the Food Network personality always in search of America's best chili dog waffle burgers was in the stands at the Royals game last night. Wait — no he wasn't. [Kansas City.com] More »
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Her name is Emily Kuchar. She is engaged to Greinke. According to him, she's the cool, refreshing Peach Daiquiri that keeps the Greinke crazy straw stirring. [MLB.com] More »
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Look, we're all friends here. You've got certain feelings inside you and you're not sure how to deal with them, but it's okay to talk about it—you kinda want to hump Zack Greinke, don't you? More »
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