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Deadspin's official draftnik for 2009 will be "KOGOD" aka "Unsilent Majority" aka "Baby KOGODINO." He will live blog until he falls asleep in a comfy chair covered in peanut shells and Velveeta. Have fun with him. [KSK] More »
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It's an autotuned version of memorable press conferences. AI's "practice" soliloquy dominates but you'll also find some Kanye'd versions of Dennis Green's "They are who we thought they were!" and Mike Gundy's "I'm a man!" looped in. [KSK] More »
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Isn't it great when a player you always rooted for and admired joins your favorite team? Your love of sports is emboldened. This is not one of those instances. [KSK] More »
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Special Round Of Roasting From The Gay Mafia: More »
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The young man in this picture, enjoying himself with the Pittsburgh Parrot, is Michael Tunison. He has two lives. In one, he is Michael Tunison, reporter for The Washington Post. In the other, he is Christmas Ape, one of the crew at Kissing Suzy Kolber and a weekend editor at this here site. Earlier this week, these two worlds collided when Tunison shed his anonymity. In most cases, this turns out well for bloggers; heck, Jason McIntyre is getting freelance work now. It did not turn out well for Mr. Tunison. More »
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We will confess, on this slow holiday Thursday afternoon, that we are a sucker for Kissing Suzy Kolber's NFL Picture Captions. More »
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We never thought we would ever be saying this, but after watching almost a full season of Emmitt Smith on ESPN ... we kind of miss Michael Irvin. We know. We're so ashamed. More »
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After getting through Thursday night's season kick-off with John Madden only drawing one penis on the screen, Eli Manning is hoping he'll pick up the slack for this evening's tilt, as Manning's Giants travel to Texas Stadium to wage battle in a manner most NFC East with the Cowboys. More »
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San Diego 14, Chicago 3 LaDainian Tomlinson made up for a fallow first half with a flush fantasy second, throwing for one touchdown and rushing for another, but still managing only 25 yards on 17 carries. Tommy Harris can jump offsides all he damn pleases, it's still not making up for a parlous Bears offense. More »
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All possessors of the first pick in their fantasy football leagues would like to have a word with LDT at the moment, as the reigning NFL MVP (though Pacman Jones is the raining NFL MVP) has 12 yards on 11 carries in the first half against the Bears. More »
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Drew wrote a thoughtful piece about ESPN's traveling band of college football analysts that we probably should have run yesterday. I still think it's semi-pertinent since these guys are the exact opposite of the professional counterparts that we'll be tolerating today, who seem to excel at nothing else other than jerking each other off under a very expensive desk. Enjoy. -MMP More »
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Before the 1978 season, the NFL's owners passed a shit-ton of rules that were designed to scale back the role of physical contact in the game. Under the new rules packages, wide receivers could not be bumped more than five yards from the line of scrimmage. Offensive lineman were allowed to use your hands. Even changes to the field were made, the hashmarks were brought closer to the middle of the field. In the evolution of the professional game, these 1978 changes are widely considered to have had the greatest impact on the game. More »
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I am in four fantasy leagues this year. Last year I was in eight. I'm also the proud owner of two keeper leagues, in both of which I am commissioner. When someone asked me why I would willingly serve as such a glutton for punishment, I replied simply, "I would rather be the guy in charge." More »
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I am in four fantasy leagues this year. Last year I was in eight. I'm also the proud owner of two keeper leagues, in both of which I am commissioner. When someone asked me why I would willingly serve as such a glutton for punishment, I replied simply, "I would rather be the guy in charge." More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=297839&view=rss&microfeed=true Perhaps you've heard of the new book The World Without Us, Alan Weisman's blow-by-blow account of what would happen on Earth if all human beings suddenly disappeared. But if you think this book is just some environmentalist's wet dream, you're wrong. Dead wrong. People, I give you The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement, a very real foundation that hopes to make just such a scenario reality. Their slogan? "May we live long and die out." Indeed. For what better way to prevent species from going extinct than to make a species go extinct? I particularly enjoyed the group's FAQ. More »
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Oh, hello there. We, the fine gentleman from Kissing Suzy Kolber, have been charged with guiding you folks through this, the very first weekend of the NFL season. And we could not be more excited. Not only do we get to watch football, we also get to rush to the computer every five minutes to do HTML formatting! It should be a blast. But first, we should probably give you a primer on what you, the reader, should expect from us: More »
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We are officially ready to start thinking about fantasy football, we think. As always, we're in too many leagues for us to keep track of, particularly because we consistently make the mistake of naming all our teams the same thing: Mattoon Green Wave. This is not only uncreative, but also incredibly confusing. More »
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This graphic, whipped up by the great twoeightnine at With Leather, signifies a historic anniversary today: The folks at Kissing Suzy Kolber are celebrating their one-year birthday today. It's rather amazing to think it has just been a year since they spawned; they legitimately made last year's mostly subpar NFL season a glorious kaleidoscope of madness, and infinitely more enjoyable. More »
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MediaTakeOut.com, the website everyone turns to when they want the hard-hitting truth, picked up on the Laurence Maroney items from yesterday at KSK and here, and are now, based on the below picture, insinuating that Maroney is gay. More »
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To wash the taste of The Ladies takeover of Kissing Suzy Kolber yesterday out of their proverbial gullets, the gang at KSK brought one of our favorite (if derivative) gimmicks out of mothballs today: the Family Circus NFL riffs More »
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When one of the editors of Kissing Suzy Kolber has his picture taken next to a clearly thrilled Joe Namath ... well, that gets itself its own posts. Sometimes worlds collide a bit too much around these parts. More »
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The voting has concluded at the 2006 Weblog Awards, and your winner is will be... Kissing Suzy Kolber, a site that's been mentioned here on Deadspin once or twice. The results haven't been made final or official, and they won't be until Monday. I guess they want some extra time to check for ballot-stuffing or cheating of some kind, which, let's be honest... KSK is a lot of things, but "above cheating" is probably not one of them. More »
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After yesterday afternoon's installment in the weekly drama of the Eli Manning Swath Of Destruction, one thing seems rather clear: The Giants quarterback just doesn't seem to be enjoying football very much. This probably shouldn't be much of a surprise, considering his father and older brother have surely been pounding the game down his throat since he was teething — probably before. More »
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Contrary to the popular opinion concerning blogs, we consider ourselves pretty nice guys. We mean well for humanity, pet puppies, occasionally give change to the homeless, say please and thank you, all that. But there's still this mindset that blogs are somehow mean. Therefore, we're looking inward and starting a sporadic feature called "Deadspin Moral Quandary." It will look at issues involving moral issues in the sports world, from both sides, and try to determine which side is right, and which is wrong. If you have suggestions for potential topics, please let us know at tips@deadspin.com. Today: Peter King Vs. Kissing Suzy Kolber. More »
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