I know there will be six kinds of naysayers, and while there is no notary public involved, I have photo documentation of a French green lentil falling from mouth-height,

ricocheting off an abdomen ...

and coming to rest easy six feet from said abdomen.

Can you see the lentil way over there? Guess what — this had abso-freakin nuthin to do with Nike. I have cut back on carbs. And that was a French green lentil, known for their ability to not turn to mush and lose their bounce upon cooking. While skanky, the Topshop knotted and cut-out t-shirt dress may have played some role in the incredible rebounding ability of the lentil. I feel like the Science of Sport guys are going to want to weigh in on this. I, for one, await their response.

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I'd like to hear from you. What has bounced off your abdomen, and how far did it go? Do you have documentation? Did Nike have something to do with it?