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Also, everything's worth two points and millionaire athletes break out an arsenal of props that would make Carrot Top blush. Sounds like fun! More »
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Whose team will reign supreme? The guys whose fans wave towels or the guys whose state has vowels? Which QB wins: the one who found Christ or whose appendix was sliced? More »
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Will it be the desert dwellers or the East coast fellers? Which nine-win team reigns supreme? This and much more Iron Chef-style prose to follow in the live blog, aprez le jump. More »
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Three southern quarterbacks will sit in a room all dressed up being asked softball questions about how awesome it is to be a quarterback of a top five college football team. Then one of them will hold up a trophy of an old, old man stiff-arming an invisible linebacker. Follow the Heisman presentation after the jump, unless your last name Harrell. More »
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Now that you're all hero-ed out from the SEC Championship, certainly there's enough quarterback love letters in your back pocket for Sam Bradford and Chase Daniel in the Big XII Championship in Kansas City. The Sooners are about 17-point faves, which means the live blog will be interesting by, oh, midway through the second quarter, in which case we'll go over every Top 10 quarterback and say why they should win the Heisman. Jumping significantly reduces your chance of not avoiding cancer. More »
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This is pretty much the only way Ford Field gets to host a championship football game. The Chirpin' Birds of Ball State will try to stay undefeated — again — against the blue-colored Bulls of the University At Buffalo. The winner gets to move on to play an important bowl game ... in the SAME FOOTBALL STADIUM! Against a really mediocre Big Ten team! America's automakers are petitioning Congress for you to follow along after the jump. More »
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Please accept the harmonious balance of David Letterman and Tim Allen's alma maters, respectively, to infiltrate your Tuesday night plans. The undefeated Ball State Cardinals welcome the 9-2 WMU Broncos, and the winner is in the MAC Championship game. Fun fact: It's not illegal to shout "jump" in a crowded live blog. More »
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Ahhh. Mid-American Conference football. You were born a fan, it's just that nobody told you until tonight. The undefeated Ball State Cardinals flutter into Mount Pleasant to tangle with some fired up Chips. Winner probably wins the MAC West Division, a fact which you already knew. Also something you knew: if you build it, they will jump. More »
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The 24 hours of maddening college basketball is almost at an end, so let's Rosie Ruiz our way to the finish line and reap the celebratory final paces. Tradition University squares off against Heritage State in a game that Tyler Hansbrough is too proud (and hurt) to be a part of, but that doesn't mean ESPN doesn't want you to watch. Dan Shulman, Dick Vitale and Erin Andrews can be seen at 9 p.m. in their entirety in cynical sound bytes once you jump to the limit. More »
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Never before have so many Midwestern teams that aren't actually located in the Midwest been in one stadium at once! The disappointing Cleveland Browns and differently-but-equally disappointing Buffalo Bills will battle to the frigid death to see who's less disappointing team of all. It's going to be Korny in the booth, so please jump for the children at 8:30 p.m. More »
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Hey, Tony Romo is back from his injury! Jerry Jones guaranteed playoffs! And I'm sure there's a compelling story line on the Washington Redskins sideline! But there's no non-jump way to find out. True story. More »
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The Big XII has thirteen teams in the Top 10, and this is just another night in which two of them square off on a Saturday night. The undefeated Red Raiders get their second straight prime-time big game against the once-defeated Cowboys. Brent Musberger and Kirk Herbstreit brand cows with their initials. What the world needs now, is jump, sweet jump. More »
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Last time on "World Series Test Cricket," our Philadelphia Phillies and Tampa Bay Rays were tied 2-2 in the middle of the 6th inning. Please slip on the underwear you adorned on Tuesday (or, if you want to be accurate, Monday) and jump like it's October 27th. More »
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Well then. If Philadelphia gets a win from Cole "Lynchpin Of Hope" Hamels tonight, they win the World Series. If Scott "Zambrano" Kazmir can act as the stopper, then the Rays move the Series back to Catwalkdome and continue to fight from the corner they've put themselves in. If Tennessee wins, you've got on the wrong game. Onward, 101st Jumpin' Infantry! More »
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We've reached Game 4, which is traditionally known as either "The Desperation Start" or "Who the @&$^ Are You and Why Have We Pinned All Our Dreams to You?" Welcome to Andy Sonnanstine vs. Joe Blanton, your fourth starters. Andy's a soft tosser that doesn't walk a lot of fellows; Joe's a Billy Beane baby whose greatest asset is being able to make 33-35 starts a year and not making anyone feel too badly about that. And now you know. More »
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According to our friend here and our friends Joely Fisher and Jeanne Zelasko there, we will have actual baseball tonight. As seen as TV! Needless to say, we didn't see this coming. We still don't know if this is a real nine-inning affair or if it's enough to merely get it legal. We're up for a late night, though. We don't know about Old Man Moyer or if Matt Garza's mom will make him come in for dinner. More »
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Pitching, we have Brett "Left Hook" Myers and James Shields, not "Hields That Begin With The Letter 'S' " on the mound. Talking, it's Joe Buck (pictured) and Tim McCarver (imagined.) Jumping, is viewers like you. More »
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Playoff baseball in Florida. Just as Abner Doubleday foretold in his hallucinations. It begins right now as Cole "Settled In" Hamels and Scott "Dialed In" Kazmir will pitch. Joe Buck and Tim McCarver will tell you what you already knew on the Fox broadcast. And this piece? Well, I call it "Lick My Love Jump." * * * More »
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Not much more needs to be said, other than "not much more needs to be said." The winner gets to momentum-crush the Phillies in the World Series. Airing (maybe) on TBS, it's Jon "The" Lester for Boston and Matt "Game 7 Scheduled Pitcher" Garza hurlin' fastballs at their respective catchers. It's jump or go home. * * * More »
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The Dodgers want to even up this series at 2-2. Strangely, the Phillies don't agree with them on that issue. It remains to be seen if the Phillies will stay unbeaten in Deadspin live blogs, or if Tim McCarver will fall asleep sometime during the sixth inning. Derek "Derrick" Lowe will pitch against Joe "The PItcher" Blanton. All you need is jump. Jump is all you need. More »
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It's Friday night. What better time than to drink away your stock market losses and vaguely remember which AL East team dominated the first game of a curiously exciting ALCS. The pitchers are Daisuke "Dice-K" Matsuzaka for Bawston and James "Scot" Shields for St. Tampasburg. The talkers are TBS's Chip Caray, Ron Darling and Buck Martinez. The jump, if you choose to accept it, will self-destruct in 10 seconds. More »
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Wow, it's already the League Championship Series. If this were the NBA, tonight would be Game 2 of the first round. Instead it's Cole Hamels throwing when Derek Lowe isn't, and it's probably true the other way around. So sit back, relax, then stop. Jumpertime. More »
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If the Angels lose, they go home. If the Angels win, they ... go home. If they tie, you will never sleep tonight. Those are your options. The pitchers pitching are Jon Lester and John Lackey. The announcers announcing are Chip Caray and Buck Martinez. The jumpers jumping are everybody except you ... so far. More »
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If you're looking for a game that will be interesting for more than two innings, perhaps you've come to the right place. Carlos "Capital Zed" Zambrano and Chad "Nickname Withheld" Billingsley will pitch. Guys like Ryan Theriot and Casey Blake will be hitting and fielding. Nasally-sounding Hall of Famers like Tony Gwynn will be in the booth analyzing. And Viewers Like You will be jumping for your lives. More »
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On the left, it's CC Sabathia. On the right, it's Brett Myers. The Phillies want that delicious 2-0 lead in the NLDS, and the Brewers want to go back to Milwaukee with at least one game dominated by hops and barley. She's jump, she's jump, she's jump, she's in my head. More »
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The funny thing about tonight's game is that if either one of these teams had mustered up the intestinal fortitude to win just one more game against the Indians or freakin' Royals, we wouldn't be here tonight. (Sure, your middle infielders are real tough against the Tigers, but what about some real competition?) Still here we are, all of us lonely, longing for shelter from a winter without baseball. Close your eyes and think of playoff bonus checks after the jump. More »
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It's the rarest of sights. Two teams in the AFC North Division with functional motor skills on the same football field at the same time. Baltimore puts their vaunted undefeated season on the line in Heinz Field against the 2-1 Steelers. If you blog it, they will jump. More »
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Do you like games where the No. 1 team loses on the road? Well, too bad, because that game's not for a few weeks. Until then, we have a nice Pac 10 game between two "rivals" for you which will be over by mid-second quarter. We got ESPN's Chris Fowler, Jesse Palmer, and Craig James(er) in the box. We got Erin Andrews on the ground. But most importantly, we gotta jump to survive. * * * More »
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Actually, the Southern California Trojans have already won this game by 24 points, but the NCAA by-laws dictate they have to go ahead and play the game anyway. Everybody important is at the game, except you. And, well, me. So let's get through this impending Buckeyes massacre together, shall we? Oh, good, you brought queso. Then it looks like we'll ... have ... to ... JUMP. * * * More »
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Hope you got all your NFC North love juice out of your system, because now it's time for an AFC West trainwreck with the Denver Broncos and Oakland Raiders. And who shall share this endeavor with us in the ESPN booth? Why, it's three Mikes, all with mikes. Mike & Mike's Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic, along with football's Mike Ditka. Mike, mike mike mike — mike mike! — mike mike Mike? Aw, hell, that's all I can type now. Mike mike mike jump mike mike mike. More »
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It's the second to last game of the first week of the season, of which there will be only two more this decade. It all takes place in venerable Lucas Oil Stadium. How effective will the Bears passing game be? Will we find out what a bursa sac is? How would John Madden solve the dispute between Russia and Georgia? Looks like you picked the wrong week to stop jumping. * * * More »
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Enough of your waiting, young stallion. The Pack of Wolves are visiting the Game of Cocks. To christen the season on TV, ESPN's Chris Fowler, Craig James and Jesse Palmer are behind the mic. Erin Andrews is behind the sidelines with a different mic — one that gets way more pageviews than a regular mic. Other games, if they earned it, will get mentioned too. Cambot. Gypsy. Tom Servo. Juuuuuuuuuump! More »
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Philadelphia and Los Angeles have good chances at winning their divisions. Jon Miller and Joe Morgan have good chances at mentioning baseball players from the 80s we never heard of, but should be in the Hall of Fame. Your pitchers: Hiroki Kuroda for the Avoiders, and Joe Blanton for the Philbins. If you're jumpy and you know it, click your mouse. More »
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Will Cole Hamels keep the Phillies in the NL East race? Will Cha Seung Baek prevent San Diego from being the worst team in baseball? Will you even be able to see this live blog? These queries and few others will be answered once you jump to the rhythm. (Jump jump to the rhythm.) More »
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Hannah Storm. Josh Elliott. And a bunch of highlights already seen last night. The debut of SportsCenter's new 9 a.m. slot gets its very special live blog, which you might be able to watch develop if you properly click on the Jump Of Kings. More »
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All right, football zealots. Finally, a televised NFL game (for lack of a better word). It's the Indianapolis Colts and the Washington Redskins. John Madden has been dipped in bronze gravy for this joyous occasion, and Al Michaels will be sitting on his knee. Before you follow along after the J-M-P, please turn in your signed and notarized waiver forms saying I will not be held responsible for you getting bored to death sometime in the third quarter. More »
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"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses." I can think of a better way to summarize the Yankees' strategy for trading deadline maneuvers. Ben Sheets and Cliff Lee will go about two innings, whereas Joe Buck and Tim McCarver are scheduled to go the distance. Follow all the commissioner-mandated fierce competition after the jumpski, because this time the live blog counts. More »
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Eight guys with bats. One Berman. And Three Doors Down, for some reason. It's a Home Run Derby live blog, Charlie Brown. Please adorn your Chan Ho Park faces (for safety reasons) before entering the dinger zone after the Gordon Jump. More »
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One of the most flattering compliments I've received in these, the blog days of my youth, has been from William F. Leitch regarding my live blogs, notably the Super Bowl XLII one. It's made me want to do more, but unfortunately all there is to lively blog these days is baseball, which can get rather redundant. To boot, he's leaving us for greener pastures, particularly one with ink and barcodes and inserts that if you just drop in the mailbox without filling it out the pasture still has to pay for the postage. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5019945&view=rss&microfeed=true Tune in tonight for Final Four live blogs featuring that seasonal simian, Christmas Ape, at 6 p.m./5 p.m. Central! Right after an all new My Name Is Earl, where Earl crosses off another transgression on his list: appearing in the movie "Vanilla Sky!" But seriously, folks, Ape's doing live blogs tonight. More »
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