Boris Johnson, mayor of London, infamous child injurer, and all-around galoot, finally decided to pick on some lads his own size when he took on members of the UK’s armed forces in a tug-of-war match. Like his other spells with athletics, it too ended in embarrassment, only this time he was the only one who came off worse for wear.

Look at Ol’ Boris go!

After this, we can only assume that Johnson will go back to battling children. They are much easier targets, after all.