Donald Trump may not have been able to convince any famous athletes to speak at this week’s Republican National Convention, but he did get Lou Holtz’s support, dammit, and Lou Holtz is giving it everything he has.


The former Notre Dame football coach and ESPN personality made his first big splash of the week when he showed up on the convention floor toting a bottle of Crown Royal:

Looking good, Lou! Although we must raise an eyebrow at his decision to eschew the many fine whiskies that are distilled right here in America in favor of a Canadian concoction.


Then came an appearance on Fox News this morning, which saw Lou adopting the persona of Rambling Conservative Sylvester the Cat:

That segment ended with Holtz getting cut off while excitedly trying to tell the hosts how great Donald Trump’s golf courses and hotels are. But we’ve heard those lines from other people, and what we really needed from Lou were some takes that would make him stand out amongst the crowd of spittle-soaked cretins that have descended on Cleveland this week. At a luncheon later in the day, Lou was happy to supply those takes: