Oh, to have been a fly on the wall for the negotiations of Manny Ramirez’s new contract with the Japanese independent league Kochi Island Fighting Dogs, which reportedly grants optional practices, a chauffeured Mercedes, a private hotel suite for road games, a jersey that says “Manny” on the back, and, most importantly, unlimited sushi for the entire season.

I imagine the Mercedes was probably the team’s idea—better to keep track of their star, anyway; the optional practices was probably Ramirez’s idea —after all, the guy’s 44 now (same goes for the hotel room); the jersey name seems like something the team would offer as a sign of respect, a la Ichiro. But whose idea was the unlimited sushi? I’d like to think that Ramirez insisted on it, with his agent prepared to concede on every other point as long as Manny got what he truly wanted.

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Perhaps the unlimited sushi was a perk the team was already prepared to offer, but that’s a lot less fun. Also, as someone who once went to a $20 all you can eat sushi restaurant, let me just say: Pace yourself, Manny, it’s a wonderful, dangerous game.

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