Deadspin: Miami Dolphins

Florida Law Requires Stadiums to Shelter Homeless On Off Nights; Not A Single One Has Complied

Sean Newell — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 16:52:36 EST

As is the case in most cities with professional franchises, the buildings that host Florida's professional sports teams have been built with the assistance of taxpayer contributions. It's played off as a symbiotic relationship (new stadium means new jobs, more revenue coming in, etc.) but most of the time feels parasitic. Well, destitute Floridians know a thing or two about that. More »

Jason Taylor's Final Locker Room Speech Was Actually Pretty Touching

Jack Dickey — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 13:10:00 EST

We told you yesterday about the farewell billboard Jason Taylor bought in Miami, and now we have a video message from the guy who somehow beat D'Brickashaw Ferguson around the edge yesterday. It's vaguely tender and worth your time. More »

Jason Taylor Says Goodbye To Miami Fans With Message On His Forehead

Sean Newell — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 12:07:13 EST

Oh, sorry—that's a billboard. My mistake. Moving on, Taylor announced earlier this week that today's game would be his last. As has become custom in sports, the retiree is the one who gives thanks on his way out and Taylor is no different. More »

Dolphins Fan Gets Brutally Knocked Out In The Sun Life Stadium Parking Lot (Video) (Updated)

Brian Hickey — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 21:55:00 EST

The sucker punch that dropped a Dolphins fan in the parking lot after Sunday's game vs. the Eagles is so brutal that the meathead who threw it should do some time. The sound of head hitting parking lot is chilling. The louder sound of the initial contact may be worse. Hearkens back to the near-death Bryan Stow case. Better be enough to convince anybody who recognizes the cheap-shot artist to call police. More »

The Dolphins Just Fired Tony Sparano

Josh Brill — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 16:21:50 EST

It's been a rough day for the coaches of underachieving NFL teams: The Chiefs fired Todd Haley this morning, and Adam Schefter reports that the Dolphins fired Tony Sparano this afternoon. More »

Former Dolphin Says Nick Saban Calmly Stepped Over Convulsing Teammate In '05

Emma Carmichael — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 18:50:00 EST

We'll make this one brief, because if it is true, than it is stale by about six years—but we do jump at any opportunity to point out instances in which Nick Saban might have behaved like a dick, and this anecdote certainly qualifies. More »

Clearing A Low Bar, Matt Moore Says He's Playing The Best Football Of His Career

Sports Radio Interviews — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 17:45:28 EST

Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: we'd have to agree that yes, this is the best Matt Moore has ever played. More »

The Miami Dolphins Offense Drops 28 On The Bills In The First Half

Sean Newell — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 14:49:39 EST

This is not a season highlights package. This is a first-half-against-the-bills highlights package. This is noteworthy because the Dolphins have scored over 28 points only once this year. They put up 31 against the Kansas City Chiefs two weeks ago. It looks like that poor kid may have been wrong. More »

Karlos Dansby Is The Best Linebacker In The NFL, According To Karlos Dansby

Emma Carmichael — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 16:40:00 EST

Karlos Dansby had an interception, a couple of passes defended, a quarterback hurry, and 10 tackles in his 2-7 team's win over the 3-6 Washington Redskins on Sunday. And after a performance like that, Karlos Dansby is quite convinced that Karlos Dansby is the best linebacker in the NFL. More »

Vontae Davis Was Benched Because He Showed Up To Practice Reeking Of Booze

Barry Petchesky — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 16:05:00 EST

Because EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING in sports right now, this one has kind of passed under the radar. It shouldn't. When an NFL team finally gets its first win, and does it without its starting cornerback because said cornerback had a really wicked hangover, it is time for celebration. Break out the champagne. More »

Tony Sparano Is Selling His House

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 10:40:00 EDT

What could prompt Miami coach Tony Sparano to put his 5-bed 5-bath Mediterranean style home on the market? Could it be the Dolphins' 0-6 record? Their total lack of effort and execution? The whispers that Bill Cowher's finally ready to get back in the game? It's more prosaic: Tony gets lonely in that big old house. More »

Watch Shonn Greene Run Over The Umpire in Tonight's Jets-Dolphins Game

Conor Hastings — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 23:32:13 EDT

The game hasn't been the most exciting one but at least there was this. More »

Even The Dolphins' Owner Wants To Suck For Luck

Dom Cosentino — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 18:00:00 EDT

The campaign to see no-hope NFL franchises tank the season to better position themselves to draft Stanford's Andrew Luck is not just for fans anymore. The owners of teams that still have more than half of their seasons to finish are getting in on the act, too. Last week, owner Jim Irsay dropped a not-so-subtle hint by indicating the Colts would be willing to draft Luck if given the chance. And now, a "highly placed club source" has told columnist Armando Salguero of the Miami Herald that Dolphins owner Stephen Ross privately understands the benefits of sucking to get Luck: More »

Brandon Marshall's Game Plan This Week Calls For Getting Ejected And Maybe Fighting, Just So You Know

Dom Cosentino — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 12:05:00 EDT

Brandon Marshall has given us a reason to talk about the Dolphins for something other than how terrible they are, and it's because of what he intends to do during Monday night's game against the Jets. Apparently Marshall hasn't been himself during the season's first four games, at least according to Marshall. And who is Brandon Marshall? Best to let him explain. More »

This Evening: Everybody Sucks For Luck

Dom Cosentino — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 19:05:00 EDT

Your p.m. roundup for Oct. 13, the day we saw the new Muppets trailer. Photos via @Sportsfeeder1. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. More »

Man Arrested For Stealing Dolphins Jerseys Shows Up To Court In A Dolphins Jersey

Brian Hickey — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 23:30:00 EDT

"Your honor, obviously [it] was a losing proposition for yesterday — for Mr. Hanna, for the Dolphins, for everybody," said a public defender. [NBC Miami] (H/T Killer of Dreams) More »

Tom Brady Is No Novak Djokovic

Tom Scocca — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 14:15:27 EDT

We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries. More »

Tom Brady Doesn't Need Wide Receivers To Pass For Hundreds Of Yards

Conor Hastings — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 10:30:00 EDT

Tom Brady and the New England offense destroyed fantasy football dreams across the nation last night. They beat the Dolphins 38-24, mostly because Miami had absolutely no idea what to to with the tight end tandem of Aaron Hernandez and Rob Gronkowski: They combined for 13 catches, 189 yards, and two touchdowns. And then there was Wes Welker. More »

Chad Henne And Brandon Marshall Kind Of Almost Don't Hate Each Other Anymore

Jack Dickey — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 17:15:00 EDT

Last year, the Dolphins' star receiver, Brandon Marshall, and quarterback Chad Henne were rarely on the same page. The team didn't play well; Marshall didn't catch touchdowns. Marshall even went as far as to tell a radio interviewer that Tyler Thigpen "gets it" more than Henne does. (In case you were wondering, he was talking about the same Tyler Thigpen who screws skeletons.) More »

Dolphins Linebacker Channing Crowder Retires At 27 To Spend More Time With His Own Crazy Thoughts: A Tribute

Jack Dickey — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 22:15:00 EDT

Miami released Crowder, its trash-talking linebacker, two weeks ago, and Crowder decided to retire today. More »

Miami Cries Out For A Neckbearded Savior

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 12:30:55 EDT

Lo, the echoing green of Sun Life Stadium. A scrimmage, Dolphin against Dolphin, for the hearts and minds of the Dolphin faithful. And who should presume to represent the faithful, their unshattered, unshaken loyalty, their loyal teal? A leader; a general; a man. More »

Joey Harrington Hit While On A Bicycle In Portland

Jack Dickey — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 14:10:59 EDT

Former Lions and Dolphins quarterback Joey Harrington has now reached the nadir of his Portland days. He was hit from behind while biking. More »

Here's The Trailer For Borderline Beast, Upcoming Movie About Brandon Marshall's Personality Disorder

Jack Dickey — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 16:00:00 EDT

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Brandon Marshall: Borderline Beast is probably not coming to a theatre near you, unless you happen to be staying in Pat Bowlen's house while he loops the film to vindicate himself. More »

Where NFL Rumors Are Born, Pat Devlin Is In The Details

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 17:10:25 EDT

We got an email last night from "prism" with the subject line: How Sports Media Blows, and it was a series of links in chronological order. More »

Channing Crowder's Jersey And The NCAA's Land Of Make Believe

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 12:50:00 EDT

Channing Crowder talks in hypotheticals. "Hypothetically," he says, he doesn't have any more of his old Florida jerseys. Some local businessmen, he says, really liked his play. "Hypothetically." More »

Dolphins WR Brandon Marshall's Wife Allegedly Stabs Him, But He Claims He Fell Onto A Broken Glass Vase

Brian Hickey — Sat, 23 Apr 2011 13:00:00 EDT

As referenced earlier, Dolphins WR Brandon Marshall is in an intensive care unit, where he's recovering from a stab wound to the stomach. Per the Miami Herald, his blushing new bride Michi Nogami-Marshall was arrested last night on charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon in a domestic dispute, according to Broward Sheriff's Office inmate records. More »

Chad Pennington Bucks Tradition And Injures His Leg Instead Of His Arm

Emma Carmichael — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 17:15:00 EDT

Two-time Comeback Player of the Year and current free agent Chad Pennington went and did something wholly original this week: he injured his leg instead of injuring his arm. To be exact, Pennington tore his ACL while playing in a pickup basketball game. Add this to his 2003 fractured hand, his 2005 torn rotator cuff, his 2009 shoulder injury, his 2010 dislocated shoulder and torn capsule, and probably that time he fell off his bike and scraped his elbow in the third grade. I'm sure I'm even missing a few there. In any case, the knees were feeling neglected. More »

NFL Dream Job: The Miami Dolphins Are Hiring An Experienced Cotton Candy Maker

Emma Carmichael — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 14:15:00 EST

Last month, the MLB announced it was accepting applications for what was billed as a "dream job," or, watching somewhere in the range of 2,400 baseball games and writing about it. It sounded... fun. But the NFL may trump it with this opening, for an "experienced" cotton candy maker at the Dolphins' Sun Life Stadium in Miami. This should be a strenuous application process. Pulled directly from the listing: More »

This Is What Happens When You Get Caught Stealing Someone's Shovel During A Blizzard (Video)

Brian Hickey — Sun, 06 Feb 2011 09:15:00 EST

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »

Raiders Fan Knocks Out Dolphins Fan, Crowd Reacts Jubilantly

David Matthews — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 14:45:00 EST

Yet again, football fans took justice into their own hands. Here we have a mouthy (looking) Dolphins fan apparently insulting everyone around him before getting punched out by a Raiders fan. And you'd better believe the ethnographer confirmed he recorded it all. More »

Chad Henne Blames The Quarterbacks When Receivers Get Hurt

Sports Radio Interviews — Fri, 22 Oct 2010 17:50:00 EDT

Miami Dolphins Solve Everything

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 05 Oct 2010 12:15:00 EDT

Well, that was fast. The Dolphins fired special teams coach John Bonamego, not 12 hours after their epic meltdown. More »

Dolphins Scour Field For $50,000 Earring

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 11:25:00 EDT

Ten players were on their hands and knees, poring through the grass for a 2.5 carat diamond earring that belongs to DE Kendall Langford. That'll lower his bling rating in the next Madden update. [AP] [UPDATE: Ochocinco weighs in] More »

Dez Bryant Could Learn A Lesson

Barry Petchesky — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 13:45:00 EDT

Travis Ivey didn't seem to mind carrying six sets of pads after Dolphins practice yesterday. Alternate caption: the NFL takes steps to prevent neck and spinal injuries. [Photo: AP] More »

Dez Bryant's Non-Streetwalking Mother Upset That Jeff Ireland Has Not Apologized To Her

A.J. Daulerio — Mon, 03 May 2010 16:50:56 EDT

"No, he has not called. I think he should have. Why wouldn't you do that?," she complained to Fanhouse. Maybe Ireland still thinks he would risk a solicitation charge if he called her directly. More »

The NFL's Worst Human Being Works For The Dolphins

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 17:20:57 EDT

It comes out that the exec who asked Dez Bryant if his mother was a prostitute was Miami GM Jeff Ireland. Hey, Parcells wasn't hung up on character as a coach, why should he change in the front office? [Yahoo!] More »

Jets' Courtship Of Jason Taylor Is Pissing Everyone Off

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 01:30:00 EDT

Taylor's in town to meet with Rex Ryan and company. Dolphins fans are apoplectic. Jets fans are inconsolable. This is pretty much a win-win situation for everyone. More »

Shady Business Practices In Miami

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 14:20:00 EST

Demand, meet supply: the Dolphins will charge more money for fans who want to sit in the shade. Good, now they can watch Chad Henne struggle in relative comfort. More »

Desperate Fan Just Wants To Win Something So He's Asking For Your Help

A.J. Daulerio — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 16:55:02 EST

From an emailer: "There's a $50 gift certificate prize on a blog I frequent for identifying this guy and I want to win...only I have no idea who this dude is. I'm counting on you deadspin...don't let me down." Go. More »

Ricky Williams - Battier Than You Realized

Barry Petchesky — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 12:00:00 EST

Williams credits his success and durability this season to a new type of alternative medicine. No, he doesn't mean weed, as we're all assuming. Ricky's "pranic healing" regimen is far stranger. More »