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Your morning roundup for April 18, the day a famous surgeon resigned for suggesting that unprotected sex was "a better gift for [Valentine's] day than chocolates." More »
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There's some drama going 'round the professional swimming circuit, and Michael Phelps wants to use it for inspiration now that he's on an unthinkable streak of not winning everything by a lot. "Drama" in the swim world tends to be about as interesting as swimming itself (and with a DUI and a bong photo behind him, Phelps is nearly tapped out anyway) but we'll humor this because the upshot of it all is that Phelps isn't winning. More »
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Just like last year, we're showcasing the people, ideas and memes that made Deadspin 2009 shine. Today: Athlete Power Couples. More »
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"Sporting a beard and an old-style swimsuit, Michael Phelps missed out on two finals and barely qualified for a third Tuesday at a World Cup short-course meet." [AP] More »
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Don't worry, the sea god was uninjured when his Escalade plowed into another car in downtown Baltimore. But let's not forget he's already on probation for a DUI...[WJZ] More »
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It's not because he got high (as we all know, the Pope smokes dope). The reason famous fish-person Michael Phelps won't meet with the Nazi Pope is buried deep in his family history, as revealed on his Wikipedia page. More »
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Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »
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Exotic fancypants swimsuits bestow ridiculous Aquaman-like qualities on anyone who wears one, which is why swimming officials have officially banned the suits—right after every record in the books is shattered beyond repair. More »
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Michael Phelps claims one of the few records he doesn't already own, breaking Ian Crocker's mark in the 100-meter butterfly. "Phelps taped Crocker's picture on his bedroom wall for motivation six years ago, after Crocker set the record." [WaPo] More »
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Congratulations, dope heads! Your groovy hero has bonged his way into America's heart and now you're free to toke up wherever and whenever you see fit. Enjoy your reefer, hippies, and be sure to thank Michael Phelps when you do. More »
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Michael Phelps has "written" a children's book called How to Train with a T. Rex and Win 8 Gold Medals. Life lessons include strip club tipping etiquette and when to check-raise on Jacks or better before the flop. [Canadian Press] More »
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Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap More »
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Lil Wayne's newest track, "No Quitter, Go Getter," begins: "Michael Phelps, this is for you, baby." He's heard that one before. [Jersey Chaser] More »
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He easily took the 200-freestyle and 100-butterfly at the Charlotte Ultraswim, and has a chance for another three way wins this weekend. By the time London 2012 rolls around, I'll bet he's sporting full dreadlocks. More »
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This guy, that's who! Also, Michael Phelps....who is totally amped to put the stripper orgies, poker parties, and mind-bending drug trips behind him and hop back in the chlorine water. Arrrghgh! More »
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Nobody does news quite like UK's News Of The World and their latest shocking exposé is no exception—a bare-all interview with a Baltimore "dancer" who claims she double-teamed Olympic hero Michael Phelps More »
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No more of this Miss California runner-up action for Michael Phelps. Apparently, he's decided that he will no longer settle for anything but the real thing with the crown. More »
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"[A]ll these people who graduated from Princeton and Harvard, who are supposed to be pillars of the community, every day [they're] in the newspaper arrested for some kind of financial fraud." [Hip Hop DX] More »
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Even though it was months ago that Michael Phelps' bong-sucking photo captivated The World and perished many endorsement opportunities, there's still some mystery as to how the photo became public. One theory: Phish heads. More »
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What's a famously rich, famously awkward swimming champion to do, when he's banned from the pool for too much outrageous behavior? Horrifying clubgoers with drunken makeout sessions is a good place to start. More »
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Kellogg's recent dumping of Michel Phelps as its spokesman had at least one unexpected consequence: The sudden appearance of about 3,800 pounds of cereal at the San Francisco Food Bank. More »
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The owner of the famed Michael Phelps bong? It's Zachery "Carter" King, 23, who won the 2008 Poker Stars World Championship of Online Poker Main Event, earning $1.3 million. That buys a lot of weed. More »
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Richland County Sheriff Leon Lott will not charge Michael Phelps for illegal bong shenanigans, but has vowed never to give up on trying to catch those wily Duke brothers boys. More »
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The Smoking Gun has mugshots of the kids arrested in the Michael Phelps pot crackdown. They sure look like they're on something. [Smoking Gun] More »
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"Anyone named Michael, Phelps, Mary Jane, Cheech, Chong, Weed (Wied) or anyone who has won an Olympic Gold Medal can get their ticket for only $2." [Milwaukee Admirals] More »
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Lawyers for two young men in South Carolina say their clients were arrested by Richland County police and charged with marijuana possession—but that the cops only seemed interested in asking them about Michael Phelps. More »
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The lamest party in South Carolina history continues to claim victims, months after the last ping pong ball has stopped bouncing. Eight people not named Michael Phelps have now been arrested because of it. More »
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The week just keeps getting worse for Michael Phelps. USA Swimming suspended him for three months on Thursday, and now Subway has apparently become the second sponsor to let him go. That's BOGUS, man! More »
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Kellogg's will not extend contract with Michael Phelps; Subway also mulls divorce. [Advertising Age] More »
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Remember during the whole Brett Favre saga how his first, most candid interviews would always pop up in his hometown Biloxi Sun Herald? Michael Phelps shares a similar bond with the Baltimore Sun. More »
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In case you still think the Michael Phelps bong photo is an elaborate French conspiracy to bring down America's greatest hero, there is independent confirmation, via a band with a blog...so...deal with it. More »
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It turns out Michael Phelps wasn't completely negligent of his endorsement contracts — at least he was wearing an Omega watch while he conversed with Captain Bongee. [CNBC] More »
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Hmm; one thing that kind of got lost in the shuffle about this Michael Phelps bong hit business ... smoking weed is still sort of illegal here. Especially in states like South Carolina. More »
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Since it appears some of his endorsement opportunities will dry up thanks to the weed-smoking photo, it might be in Michael Phelps' best interest to investigate other opportunities. Specifically, ROOR glass bongs. More »
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Michael Phelps says he regrets doing his impersonation of Brad Pitt in True Romance, and that it will never, ever happen again. I totally believe him*. More »
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Well. That's not so bad. But the Brits seem angry at Michael Phelps: More »
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The Drudge Report reveals that "News Of The World" is set to show a photo of an "Olympic hero" smoking a bong. Update: Yup, it's Michael Phelps. More »
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Michael Phelps Inc.™® is returning to Beijing, this time to provide every man, woman and child with a brand new car. Expect gas here to be $9 per gallon by next year. More »
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So, the next few days will be chock full of end-of-year retrospectives. We'll do our own as well. Today: The Beijing Olympics. More »
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This cinches it. I definitely have to start reading gossip pages more. No sex this time, but see if you can crack the code on this blind item anyway: More »
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