If you woke up one day to discover that you were suddenly a millionaire named Ken Babby, what’s one of the first things you’d do? Would you use your wealth to humiliate a group of grown men by forcing them to wear uniforms featuring a cartoon shrimp humping the state of Florida? Why, yes—yes you would. And you would call those men Ken Babby’s Jumbo Shrimp.
The Jacksonville Suns are a Double-A affiliate of the Miami Marlins, but as of today they will be known as the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp. Their logo is, naturally, a ‘roided-out shrimp going to town on Florida.
“This is a high-energy, impactful, bold move,” Ken Babby said of his decision to name his baseball team after the ocean’s most notorious cowards. “There’s certainly risk that goes along with it.”
Babby, who has repeatedly emphasized “affordable, family fun” in promoting both his Jacksonville and Akron Double-A franchise in Ohio, believes Jumbo Shrimp meets his criteria of wanting a creative name that has a direct tie-in to the local community.
You know what else has a tie-in to the local Florida community? Sun, sharks, palm trees, bath salts—literally anything would have been better than jumbo shrimp. Babby, however, has a history for humiliating the men he owns; he also developed minor-league team the Akron RubberDucks.
Babby however, believes that “it’s a gritty, tough, hard-working shrimp. The word that probably best describes it is tenacious.”
Ken Babby is a goddamn monster. You can buy your horny muscle shrimp apparel here.