http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/deadspin.com.png http://deadspin.com/tag/mls http://deadspin.com/tag/mls

Houston Dynamo players Tyler Deric and Warren Creavalle were arrested this weekend after a dust-up with an off-duty cop working security at a bar. From Deric's attorney: "Mr. Deric was with other soccer players, some who were African-Americans. The club did not want them coming in . . . He's not guilty of assaulting that off-duty officer." [Houston Chronicle] More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5883424&view=rss&microfeed=true

When David Beckham left Real Madrid five years ago for what was billed as a "million-dollar-a-week" deal with the L.A. Galaxy, he said that he had two goals: He wanted to win an MLS championship, and he wanted to use his name to help raise the league's profile. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5861825&view=rss&microfeed=true

The LA Galaxy defeated the Houston Dynamo 1-0 tonight to win the MLS Cup. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5861304&view=rss&microfeed=true

Remember the name Darlington Nagbe: it's a wonderful name. But also because the Liberian-born, Ohio-raised midfielder was the second overall pick in this year's MLS draft, and scored his first career goal for Portland on this amazing juggle and volley in July. Today it was named the MLS Goal of the Year, and we can't stop watching it. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5860140&view=rss&microfeed=true

Your morning roundup for Nov. 3, the day we learned you're never to old to be a male prostitute. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5855986&view=rss&microfeed=true

The MLS playoffs are underway—you knew that, right?—and after the L.A. Galaxy's 1-0 victory over New York Red Bulls things got a bit testy. It wasn't brouhaha levels, mostly because the guy who appeared suffer the most pain (Red Bulls defender Rafael Márquez) wasn't actually touched, as far as anybody can tell. Even once the game is over, soccer players cant help but dive. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5854680&view=rss&microfeed=true

Your morning roundup for Oct. 15, the day we totally realized that Tums commercial with a randy corn dog is really a work of dong-involved artistry. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5850047&view=rss&microfeed=true

Harrison, New Jersey, used to be a nice town. There was a time when people here didn't lock their doors, and the apothecary made tinctures from local berries. Then the Red Bulls showed up with their Austrian owner and built their stinking $200 million arena. The town took on $39 million in debt to clean out muck or something under the stadium. The town thought it would get the money back. Nein! Nein! Nein! Harrison is now the fourth-most-likely city in the United States to go broke, according to 24/7 Wall St: More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5845539&view=rss&microfeed=true

C.J. Sapong is a rookie forward for Sporting Kansas City, and he is creepily heartsick for goalie-dancer Hope Solo. So with the U.S. women's national team in town for Saturday's friendly against Canada, Sapong did what any tormented soul would do: he "stayed up late" and wrote her a spoken word love poem (he actually called it a "poem-slash-rap"). Here is the maybe-better-left-unsaid beach fantasy that Sapong shared with Solo in front of a crowd of people on a soccer field: More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5841094&view=rss&microfeed=true

Your morning roundup for Aug. 27, the day Chevy Chase's resurgence finally got to Dan Aykroyd, but not necessarily to Bill Murray, because Bill Murray knows he's better than Ghostbusters 3. This, because he unequivocally is. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5834967&view=rss&microfeed=true

Perhaps you might react with some skepticism to this man's gleeful shrieking: after all, the win only brought Houston to 8-7-11, and Real Salt Lake isn't one of the MLS's top teams. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5832983&view=rss&microfeed=true

Your morning roundup for Aug. 20, the ninth day that Delonte West will wake up hoping Home Depot calls. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. (Video from California's 11-0 win over Rhode Island H/T Shaun B). More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5832704&view=rss&microfeed=true

In the most MLS injury ever, Jimmy Neilsen, the Danish goalkeeper for Sporting Kansas City, was hit in the eye with a flying Omar Bravo bobblehead last night. He laid on the pitch for about four minutes, got stitched up, and returned to play in a 3-1 win over Portland. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5832310&view=rss&microfeed=true

Ireland, it is said, is a nation of begrudgers. 'Tis indeed. The only thing more brooding and begrudging than an Irishman is an Irishman crossed with a Russian Jew. And the current cause for begrudgery in Ireland is Robbie Keane. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5831794&view=rss&microfeed=true

According to a press release sent out by the Philadelphia Union around 3:30 p.m., the team "will introduce their newest team member" at noon. Their CEO, manager and "new team member" will all be available for comment. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5830081&view=rss&microfeed=true

The Portland Timbers—seventh in the MLS's Western Conference and 7-10-4 overall—defeated the league-leading L.A. Galaxy 3-0 on Wednesday night. In spite of their hangovers, the Timbers Army was in fine form for the upset. Someone trained a camera on the heart of the crew just before Jorge Perlaza scored Portland's second goal of the game in the 33rd minute, and their reaction was decidedly un-American. In a good way. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5828249&view=rss&microfeed=true

Your morning roundup for July 30, the day we're provided with living proof that 32-year-old women are, in fact, into 83-year-old men. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5826116&view=rss&microfeed=true

Linesman tries to get out of the way of a soccer ball. Linesman flies to the ground in dramatic fashion. Could've been worse. Linesman could've been an All-Star team that lost 4-0 to a foreign squad playing a preseason game. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5825449&view=rss&microfeed=true

The fan-favorite best roster that Major League Soccer has to offer will try to avenge last year's 5-2 All-Star ass-whooping at the hands of a Chicharito-less, EPL-champion Manchester United side tonight. Good luck with that. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5825393&view=rss&microfeed=true

Mario Balotelli, the 20-year-old Italian striker who plays for Manchester City, attempted a backheel goal in a friendly against the L.A. Galaxy on Saturday, and it did not go well. He missed the goal by a few feet and was immediately pulled from the game. Youth soccer coaches across the world are now reveling in the opportunity to demonstrate that showboating never pays off (unless it does, in which case, kids, showboat away). More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5824484&view=rss&microfeed=true

This introduction video, via KCKRS, is perhaps the greatest semi-official compilation of cheap Canadian stereotypes known to man. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5824248&view=rss&microfeed=true

Well, planking just won't die. We thought it had, over the weekend. But maybe soccer fans based in DC don't watch morning news in Dallas. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5823483&view=rss&microfeed=true

We like to bag on the Timbers over here, if only because it makes Timbers fans choke on their kelp noodles. But nobody will be speaking ill of this goal by rookie Darlington Nagbe, who sets himself up for a volley and a perfect strike. Patchouli! More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5818147&view=rss&microfeed=true

I've been dispatched by the other 90 percent of the Deadspin staff to share with you these photos of Charlie Davies, the starting striker for D.C. United who suffered bleeding in the brain, a ruptured bladder, a broken tibia, femur, and elbow, and multiple facial fractures in a car accident in October 2009. He's better now. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5817234&view=rss&microfeed=true

Your morning roundup for June 25, the day Wade Boggs introduces you to Deputy Stanley, a dimwitted yokel who does battle with Swamp Shark. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5815389&view=rss&microfeed=true

During halftime of last night's draw with Real Salt Lake, D.C. United defender Jed Zayner confirmed that his side would, in fact, need to "work our balls" off on defense. Then, the announcer inquired as to the state of Zayner's. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5813365&view=rss&microfeed=true

One might wonder, the first time one sees hockey or soccer, why the players don't bank goals in off the post at all times—the goalies can never save them. Here's one of the prettiest examples you'll ever see, from Eric Hassli of the Vancouver Whitecaps. From outside the penalty box, on a quick recovery, with an arc that leaves Kasey Keller looking, as ever, oafish, helpless. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5811162&view=rss&microfeed=true

Gary Neville, who played right back for England and Manchester United for perhaps forever, before retiring this year, was in Chicago on Thursday night to throw out the first pitch before the White Sox-A's game. Man U and the Chicago Fire will be playing a friendly shortly. He and his 400 caps are there to sell the damn thing. This was wretched. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5811130&view=rss&microfeed=true

More precisely, a streaker in a cow costume. That's how the rebranded SKC opened Livestrong Park. It was to be the only goal on a rainy night, so we don't think the fans are booing as the cowman is dragged off the field. We think they're mooing. [h/t Kyle, others] More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5810687&view=rss&microfeed=true

Despite the best efforts of its alcoholic fans and a possibly drunk linesman, the Portland Timbers finally lost at home this past weekend. For a while, though, it looked like Portland might steal a victory from visiting DC United. That was because the refereeing crew seemed determined to give the Timbers as many penalty kicks as the team needed to register a goal. Maybe you could call for a do-over on that first save. Not the second one. Any whiny granola-eaters want to complain about that? More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5807994&view=rss&microfeed=true

Here's Stumptown Footy's full post. To which we say: dude. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5807214&view=rss&microfeed=true

The surest sign that it was a good idea to give Portland an MLS franchise: their fans already have a collective drinking problem. The supporters group is turning teetotaler to keep from embarrassing itself again. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5806938&view=rss&microfeed=true

Carlos Ruiz, the Philadelphia Union's prized free-agent pickup muffed a free kick last night, right in front of the Sons of Ben fan club seating area. Then, it bounced back out to Ruiz's left foot about 25 yards from goal. And then, a young franchise got an early "Goal of the Year" nominee. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5804373&view=rss&microfeed=true

Your morning roundup for May 15, the day Lazy Cakes, Kush Cakes and Lulla Pies start becoming Public Enemy Nos. 1-3. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5801950&view=rss&microfeed=true

Your morning roundup for May 12, the day old coot Yogi Berra will come up with something witty to say about turning 82, even though he's only 81. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5801073&view=rss&microfeed=true

Petchesky alerted you this morning to the minor dust-up between Landon Donovan and new Red Bulls striker Luke Rodgers, in which the Englishman called the Yank a (genitalia)head. Donovan may very well act like an entitled whinger but Rodgers should hardly be chucking stones when calling people a dickhead. I've already seen him make at least one dirty play by trying to slug DC United defender Dejan Jakovic just for the hell of it. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5800398&view=rss&microfeed=true

Your morning roundup for May 10, the day the gays were good enough for the Navy but not good enough for Uptown Sports Athlete Representation. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5800255&view=rss&microfeed=true

In MLS Commissioner Don Garber's perfect world, the two biggest markets in the country would have the two best teams. These teams would, of course, be the New York Red Bulls and the LA Galaxy. They would be better than the other teams but not so much better that fans in smaller markets would give up hope. Ideally, they would meet for the championship in November and squash their East Coast-West Coast beef. But don't take my word for it. Let's examine some recently released MLS salary data. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5800045&view=rss&microfeed=true

Your morning roundup for April 28, the day we learn that God's advice for ending a 46-day beer-only fast is with a bacon smoothie, forever and ever, Amen. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5796453&view=rss&microfeed=true

Meet bearded on-field Einstein and armed insurrection survivor Robbie Russell. He plays for Real Salt Lake, which takes on Monterrey tonight for the CONCACAF Champions League title. The winner will be crowned the best club team in the region and advance to the FIFA Club World Cup, where Robbie Russell may take over the world. More from The Salt Lake Tribune: More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5796238&view=rss&microfeed=true