Greetings, you tawdry bastards. Tomorrow this site will be overtaken by everyone's favorite sentence assassin, The Great Moe Tkacik with special assistance from the artist formerly known as The Baghdad Diarist, Scott Thomas Beauchamp. Engage.

For those of you unfamiliar with Moe's former swings at the plate, you can see some of her previous posting days here. And here's Beauchamp's story.

****

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. 1, 2, 3, 4.