Deadspin: Montreal Canadiens

Did Scott Gomez Score?

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 21:45:45 EST

YES! More »

Scott Gomez Has Gone A Full Calendar Year Without Scoring A Goal, And Habs Fans Have Special Plans For Mocking Him

Jack Dickey — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 19:25:00 EST

Pauvre, pauvre Scott Gomez. Il y a presque un an depuis son dernier but, donc les supporters de Montréal s'attendent de lui taquiner. Don't speak French? Scott Gomez sucks. [Gomez Celebration] More »

The Hockey Gods Will Have Their Bloody Vengeance

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 14:35:01 EST

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Earlier this month, Calgary winger Rene Bourque gave a dirty elbow to the head of Washington's Nicklas Backstrom. The Caps' leading scorer has been out ever since with a concussion, and Bourque was suspended five games by the league. But that's not justice. That's The Man's justice. The Capitals demand street justice, the only justice there is. More »

Nobody Does Meltdowns Quite Like Montreal

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 11:45:11 EST

The Canadiens are scraping the bottom of the conference. Everything that can go wrong, has. Mike Cammalleri voiced some of those frustrations Wednesday, complaining about playing time and the Habs' "losing mentality." One day later, he's gone. This will solve all their problems! More »

A Confusing NHL Racial Controversy Gets Muddier, As Banana Reference Nets A One-Game Suspension

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 15:10:15 EST

We thought this one was going to be cut-and-dried. We thought Krys Barch said something hateful and racist and unacceptable to P.K. Subban, and the NHL would come down with all its disciplinary might to show that there's no place for racism in hockey, and then we'd all move on. Naturally, nothing's that easy. More »

If The Canadiens' Interim Head Coach Doesn't Learn French, He'll Probably Be Fired

Dylan Murphy — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 19:45:00 EST

Montreal Canadiens' interim head coach Randy Cunneyworth doesn't speak any French. This is apparently such a problem among fans that the team's GM had to address the issue with the sort of groveling, mealy-mouthed statement you give when your coach blows a .48 on his Breathalyzer. More »

Bruins Fans, Canadiens Fans Throw Down In Montreal

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 10:30:23 EST

Montreal is very much the Boston of Canada, if you replace "wants to be Irish" with "wants to be French." So the Canadiens and Bruins rivalry, which has gotten extra-chippy recently, is an opportunity for the rest of the NHL to stand back and say "let's hope there are no survivors." More »

This Office Prank Is A Good Argument Against Ever Working With A Bruins Fan

Emma Carmichael — Wed, 04 May 2011 17:20:00 EDT

We're told that the prankster in this video, who hopefully still has a job, is Kelly Park, son of NHL Hall of Famer Brad Park. He promised the CFO of their company that he would "prank" him should the Bruins knock out the Habs in the first round. They did, somewhat dramatically, and Park chose to overhaul his boss's office with the smug, blinding yellow of the Boston faithful. So that's where all of the useless shit you see in team stores always ends up. More »

The Perils Of Pissing At A Bruins Game When You Are A Canadiens Fan

Luke O'Brien — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 13:25:13 EDT

Here is an ad for adult diapers from Barstool Sports. If this Canadiens fan squeezed out a drop or two, he almost certainly shat himself as well. More »

Jack Edwards's Baffling Pro-Boston, Anti-Royalty Rant

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 10:25:29 EDT

Noted homer Jack Edwards probably couldn't sleep last night after his beloved Bruins came back to oust the Canadiens in 7 games. But before tossing and turning with visions of Jozef Stümpel dancing in his head, he had some parting words on the NESN postgame show. More »

This Is Not Andrew Ference Giving Habs Fans The Finger

Tommy Craggs — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 10:30:51 EDT

Your morning roundup for April 22, the day America went to its room and listened to Smiths records. More »

Jack Edwards: Homer To End All Homers

Kate Shapiro — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 14:05:00 EDT

Last night, NESN's Jack Edwards reminded us that he is still the ultimate homer of the hockey commentating world — hockey's Tommy Heinsohn, if you will. In Game 3 of the Bruins-Canadiens series, Edwards screamed at Montreal's Roman Hamrik to "GET UP!" after he tackled Michael Ryder to the ice. He then accused the Canadiens of "trying to nurse ridiculous calls out of the referees." More »

Canada Acknowledges That Its Hockey Is More Important Than Its Politics

Emma Carmichael — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 11:20:00 EDT

Canada has rescheduled a French federal election debate to accommodate the opening game of the Montreal-Boston game on Thursday. We admire the compromise: here in the states, we'd probably just have had to choose based on which event made for a better drinking game. More »

Chicago's Marty Turco Uses Bench Time To Place Bets With Fans, Write "Turco Rules!" On $5 Bills

Emma Carmichael — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 12:15:00 EDT

Marty Turco signed a one-year contract with Chicago last summer and expected to start in net for the Blackhawks. But for much of the season, he's served as Corey Crawford's back-up and has gotten well-acquainted with the pine. He hasn't started a game since Feb. 11. So Turco's now looking for new sources of entertainment from the sideline, and on Tuesday night at the Bell Centre in Montreal, he actually accepted a casual bet from a Canadiens fan. How nice and totally benign! Until, of course, the NHL inevitably rains on this perfectly harmless parade. More »

Dennis Rodman Recognizes The Importance Of Family

Brian Hickey — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 09:15:00 EDT

Your morning roundup for April 2, the day that the color starts returning to the knuckles of passengers and crew on Southwest Flight 812, the plane with a three-foot hole in its side. More »

Tampa Bay's Dwayne Roloson Makes Incredible Save, Compelling Case That Hockey Is Also Still Going On

Emma Carmichael — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 12:30:00 EDT

Here's a great save from Dwayne Roloson in the Tampa Bay-Montreal game that somehow found a channel to exist on last night. The Canadians won in a shootout, 3-2, so Habs fans will not get the chance to protest the NHL's overtime rules. More »

Really, Montreal Fans? A Protest Against Head Shots Now?

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 17:05:01 EDT

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Tonight, before the Habs' game against the Capitals, a couple thousand fans will rally outside the Bell Centre to demand that something be done about head shots in hockey. Except it's a lot more likely they're really agitating for something to be done about the head shot on Max Pacioretty. More »

Montreal Is So, So Mad At Zdeno Chara

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 11:40:07 EST

Let's take one more look at Zdeno Chara's hit on Max Pacioretty that sent Pacioretty crashing into the stanchion face first, concussing him and fracturing a vertebra. Different people see different things. Some see a dirty play; the NHL doesn't see anything worth a fine or suspension. But the people of Montreal want Chara arrested, prosecuted, and possibly executed. More »

Max Pacioretty Was Seriously Injured In Last Night's Zdeno Chara Hit

Emma Carmichael — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 16:10:00 EST

Pacioretty suffered a severe concussion and a fractured vertebrae in last night's hard collision with Boston's Zdeno Chara. Montreal's left wing remains in the hospital and is out indefinitely. Chara will not be punished beyond the game misconduct. [ESPN] More »

Max Pacioretty Carted Off Ice On Stretcher After Scary Zdeno Chara Hit

Jack Dickey — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 23:10:00 EST

In the second period of tonight's Bruins-Habs game, with Montreal leading 4-0, Boston defenseman Zdeno Chara delivered this blow to Montreal wing Max Pacioretty, riding him headfirst into the stanchion between the benches. More »

Major League Booger-Picking, Possible Booger-Eating In Montreal

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 12:10:13 EST

Sorry chum, hate to call you out on this, but you've got seats behind the bench, and with our jealously comes the desire to make fun of you for going to town on (inter)national TV. More »

Sand Controversy Threatens To Underwhelm Eastern Conference Finals

Barry Petchesky — Sun, 23 May 2010 12:15:00 EDT

Something — be it sand, grit, or poisonous acid worms — was spilled in the hallway outside the visitor's locker room at the Bell Centre yesterday. The Flyers aren't crying sabotage; but we will! More »

And On The Eighth Day, God Ejected Lasorda

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 21 May 2010 06:30:50 EDT

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »

Genius Philly Fan Posts The License Plate He Stole From Montreal Writer Online

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 20 May 2010 20:30:15 EDT

Everyone knows that all crimes committed immediately following a significant hockey victory cannot be prosecuted under the law, but that rule has always assumed that the suspects aren't complete blockheads who don't know how to keep their mouth shut. More »

Obvious, Yet Cringe-Inducing Hockey Article Of The Week

David Matthews — Mon, 17 May 2010 19:15:00 EDT

The Globe and Mail's James Mirtle wrote a piece this weekend on the potentially catastrophic effects of mouth injuries in the NHL and the "walk-it-off" culture surrounding them. Who's ready to grimace and suck their teeth in fear? More »

Columnist Who Likened Flyers To Nazis Is Surprised When Philly Fans Slash His Tires

Barry Petchesky — Mon, 17 May 2010 15:45:00 EDT

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Since the smart money has the Stanley Cup going West, at least the Habs and Flyers can battle it out for the title of North America's most property destructin-est fanbase. Round one goes to Philly. More »

Why Won't You Die, Montreal?

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 12 May 2010 22:20:16 EDT

For the second time in two rounds, the eighth-seeded Canadiens have won a Game 7, on the road, knocking off both the President's Trophy winner and the defending champs. Obviously, we'll have to kill them in our dreams. More »

The Earth Hates The Canadiens

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 12 May 2010 14:50:04 EDT

A Quebec family had just seen the Habs take the lead in game 6 Monday night, when...well, you can see the photo. Their house pretty much disappeared into the ground. More »

Montreal Forces Game 7, Philly Gets A Game 6

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 10 May 2010 21:45:24 EDT

Playoff Updates: Canadiens, Flyers stay alive. Hawks still playing with only four guys, apparently. More »

Last Night's Winner: Les Habitants (Of Their Mothers' Basements)

Tommy Craggs — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 12:00:52 EDT

In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Poindexters and figure filberts who knew all along that the roundly dismissed Canadiens were dangerous. More »

Ovechkin Gives Child A Snow Shower

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 12:45:00 EDT

Ovie stops short, spraying the Canadiens tyke. Probably all in good fun (and part over Ovechkin's pregame routine), but still: wouldn't it have been great if the kid had dropped the gloves? More »

It's White Supremacy Night At Safeco Field

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 06:30:00 EDT

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »

Spandex-Wearing Men Humiliate Defenseman, Selves

David Matthews — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 08:30:00 EDT

Yup, That's Some Blackface At A Hockey Game

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 15:50:00 EST

Got a highly touted prospect in the minors, and you want to show the world you're a fan? You could wear his jersey. Or, if you're in Quebec, you could break out the shoe polish and afro wigs. More »

Matt D'Agostini Got Knocked The Fuggout

Weed Against Speed — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 10:35:36 EDT

Chicago Blackhawks Andrew Ladd absolutely leveled Montreal Canadiens right winger Matt D'Agostini early in last night's 3-2 Chicago victory. More talk about head shots! Whee! More »

Illiterate Hockey Coach Now Writing Canada's Laws

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 11:00:52 EDT

Former NHL coach Jacques Demers—who admitted in 2005 that he is functionally illiterate—was appointed to the Canadian Senate by his buddy Stephen Harper. Eh, nobody reads government bills anyway. [Toronto Star] More »

Guy Lefleur's Idiot Son Gets His Old Man In Trouble With The Law

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 01 May 2009 14:10:27 EDT

Legendary Montreal Canadien Guy Lefleur was convicted today of basically lying in court to protect his son, which would be sort of honorable if the kid wasn't so clearly a jackass. More »

Montreal Canadiens To Feel The Power Of Celine Dion's Love

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 13:30:00 EDT

The Montreal Canadiens are for sale! And do you know who would be the perfect caretaker for this historically-gifted and beloved franchise? Canada's No. 1 shrew-like pop schmaltz siren! More »

Dude, Where's My Stick?

Rick Chandler — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 17:00:51 EDT

What happens when a Boston Bruins fan (in other words, drunk) tries to steal Alexei Kovalev's stick? See below for the Solomon-like result. More »

The Montreal Canadiens Need To Find Better Friends

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 15:20:18 EST

The 100th season of the Montreal hockey club has had ups and downs, but it's not clear yet where "finding out two of your players are mobbed up" falls on the spectrum of season highlights. More »