What to watch after turning your cat gay ...
• MLB: Houston at Chicago Cubs (7 p.m., ET) Return of Kerry Wood looms. [ESPN]
• Cheap Seats: Wide World of Sports. (11 p.m., ET). The segment that won six Cheapy Awards. [ESPN Classic]
• American Gladiators: (8 p.m., 7 p.m. CT). Yeah, I drive to work in an altrasphere. What of it? [NBC]