The NCAA's basketball committee has spoken: Because of a strike delivered to a scorer's table, an inanimate object, during Kansas' 70-58 win over North Carolina in the 2013 NCAA Tournament, Kansas coach Bill Self has been handed "a public reprimand and a fine for misconduct."
Thus concludes an investigation no one even knew was happening.
The NCAA's press release helpfully provides the NCAA definition of misconduct: “Any act of dishonesty, unsportsmanlike conduct, unprofessional behavior or breach of law, occurring from the time the championship field is announced through the end of the championship that discredits the event or intercollegiate athletics.”
The admonishment is significantly more obnoxious than furnishing a convenient definition of misconduct, somehow:
“Coach Self’s actions were out of line with the committee’s expectations that championship participants act in a manner that represents the highest standards of sportsmanship,” said Ron Wellman, chair of the Division I Men’s Basketball Committee and athletic director at Wake Forest.
Perhaps this is one reason the NCAA is loath to consider staging an actual championship of big-time college football: It will never have to fine coaches for minor bullshit, or call out a coach for failing to "act in a manner that represents the highest standards of sportsmanship" in a case where the only victim was a table, because it has abdicated the responsibility of conducting a "championship," content to let the cabal of bowl games and TV networks milk "student-athletes" for every cent of profit on their work product.
Chip Kelly and Oregon used a shady scouting service to try to get an advantage on the field, which would seem somewhat unsportsmanlike; Self apparently used a table as a punching bag. Both coaches received a public reprimand from the NCAA, but only Self was fined.
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