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The four late games are underway, including the marquee match up between the Jets and Saints. Oh, and the Bengals and Browns have finally come to a merciful conclusion. More »
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Brett Favre threw his team's playoff chances right into the arms of the Miami Dolphins, giving them the AFC East title while keeping the 11-5 New England Patriots out of the playoffs. More »
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The Dallas Cowboys have fallen behind by... let's see now... 312098398219031-3 at the end of the third. Baltimore and Miami continue to battle for the remaining AFC spots. More »
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The Detroit Lions showed true devotion to the perfectly awful cause today while the rest of the NFL North showed why they should consider CFL applications. Or maybe KFC applications. More »
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This picture comes from earlier today when umpire Garth DiFelice defended himself from a charging Kenneth Darby with a textbook right cross jab to the chin. Or at least that's the way it looks to me. More »
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The Raiders, the Redskins, and some teams that actually still matter at this point in the season. More »
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• New Orleans vs Detroit: You know what was "a Brees", Detroit Free Press headline writers? The Saints' beatdown of your winless Lions. Drew has thrown for two touchdowns, and well over 300 yards. More »
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Updates on all of the early games, including a shootout between the Dolphins and Chiefs. More »
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Sure most of the one o'clock games didn't exactly light it up on paper, but most of them remained moderately competitive, and downright watchable throughout. Plus, TWO FAVRES! More »
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The Redskins are getting crushed, the Falcons are dominating the Bucs, and JP Losman engineered an real touchdown drive and everything. More »
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Dallas (8-4) at Pittsburgh (9-3). Wind chill this morning was at 7 degrees, which means Steelers coach Mike Tomlin will come out wearing Bermuda shorts and a tank top. Wade Phillips will enjoy one of the few benefits of "natural insulation" today. I don't understand how, at 8-4, everyone is counting Dallas out of the playoffs, especially since they're 3-0 since their bye week. More »
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Chicago 20, Jacksonville 3. If you drafted Matt Forte in fantasy this year, JUST SHUT UP ALREADY! Yes, nice job taking a risk on a guy that was in every magazine's top 15 RBs. You're a real riverboat gambler! Forte has 52 yards on the day and the scorn of 11 of every 12 fantasy owners. More »
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe Rich Gannon said that Jay Cutler has never been to New York before today. Really? A millionaire, star NFL quarterback, and he's never been to New York? Seems odd, but I looked back at the Broncos' schedule, and they haven't visited the Giants or Jets since Cutler's been on the team. He also spent draft night in Nashville. But no class field trip? Stag party? Corn and livestock trade show? Regardless, the city seems to agree with, as KOGOD has dubbed him, the "Sarah Palin of quarterbacks". The Broncos lead the team-of-the-moment Jets 27-17 at the end of the third, and Cutler has thrown for 312 yards and a touchdown. Thomas Jones is doing his best to keep the Jets in this one, running for two TDs and over 130 yards already. In the other games: More »
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Chances are the weather sucks where you live right now. Rain, sleet or snow was a factor in five of the 1:00 games, and it's currently coming down hard in New England and New York. It also all but extinguished the playoff hopes of the Bills, Packers, Saints and maybe even the Redskins. Tampa Bay and Carolina didn't seem to mind it, though, as they each pulled out exciting wins to both move to 8-3 in the NFC South (with the Bucs holding the tie-breaker). But enough about the past, man - the future is now. Here's what's happening in the late games: More »
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Romeo Crennel may not have a choice once this season's over, as his seat gets hotter and hotter each week. Despite the fact that Indy defenders were dropping like flies in this one, Derek Anderson couldn't get anything going for the Browns. His fumble in the 3rd, which the Colts returned for a touchdown, was the difference here. Indianapolis 10, Cleveland 6, final. In other games: More »
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It's apparently rainy and windy in the Bay, but as commentor "business socks" tells us, that hasn't dampened the spirits of the Buccaneers' cheerleaders. They'll need to step it up, though, as the Bucs are currently down 10-6 to the Saints in the third. Players rely on the cheerleaders for motivation, you see. What else is happening?: More »
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This is apparently a shot of Plaxico Burress's place in Totowa, New Jersey. I'm going to venture a guess to say he won't be using the upstairs part of it for a little while. So it's your move, squatters. But if the small area his current physical limitations have him confined to has a television set, then he is probably watching his team get off to a hot start in Washington. Giants lead 10-0, on a touchdown pass from Eli Manning to one of his bullet-hole free receivers. Elsewhere: More »
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Seattle fans wear their heart on their sleeve and their logo on their head. No wonder Sonics fans were so pissed off. Jim Zorn and Mike Holmgren have been feeling each other out like a Mormon couple on their honeymoon and neither side has looked all that fluid. Clinton Portis has been running wild (85 total yards on 16 touches) and the Skins got a big pass interference call on a long pass over the top to Santana Moss. Jason Campbell followed up with a first down pass to Chris Cooley inside the five yard line and Ladell Betts finished off the 12 play drive with a short touchdown run. Washington leads 7-3 but Seattle is mounting a drive in the half's final two minutes. More »
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After 12 weeks the Tennessee Titans have joined the ranks of the defeated thanks to (sigh) Brett Favre and the New York Jets. Apparently there's been a rather large puddle of blood on the field stemming from an injury to Albert Haynesworth, and from what I understand there have been no efforts made to clean it up. That's just lovely. Anyway, the Jets won 34-13 and the Titans looked pretty out of it. I wonder if some pundits will suggest that they'll be better off having lost. Frankly I'm on the edge of my seat waiting to find out. Update: Continue after the jump for the bloody evidence. More »
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Brett Favre learned everything he knows about playing wide receiver from an instructional book written in an obsolete vernacular. And for some reason Jeff Fisher decided to make his arrival at Friday's practice via parachute. Both teams have added field goals since we last checked in, making the score 13-3 in favor of the Jets. Thanks, once again, to Christmas Ape for the images. Continue after the jump for the rest of the scores. More »
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Thanks to Christmas Ape for this screengrab of Donovan McNabb strutting his stuff on the sideline in his favorite oversized mittens. So far they don't seem to be working because the Eagles haven't been able to get it downfield, and the quarterback has thrown an interception. Philly and Baltimore are locked in a scoreless tie, so hopefully somebody explained the overtime rules for everyone's benefit. Continue after the jump for updates on some of these early games. More »
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• Dallas @ NY Giants: When the G-Men arrived at their lockers today, they reportedly found a box full of "I love me some me" T-shirts courtesy of Terrell Owens. The result, thus far, is a 14-point Giants lead in the fourth, and Owens has been held to only 30 yards on the day (though, he does have a TD.) More »
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Kevin Boss, Amani Toomer, and Steve Smith (pictured receiving love from Brandon Jacobs) have been the recipients of Eli Manning's three touchdown passes as we head from afternoon to evening at the Meadowlands. It hasn't been all good for the media's new favorite Manning, he's tossed an interception and fumbled on a play where he was untouched in the pocket. Of course none of that can compare to the incredible ineptitude on the other side of the field. More »
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• Minnesota @ Houston: Purple Jesus and the Vikings (4-4) beat the Texans 31-28, stopping Houston's winning streak cold at three. Peterson rumbled for 139 yards and reached the house once. More »
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• The Packers and the Titans got physical in the day's biggest matchup. Rob Bironas missed a makeable game winning field goal to send the game into overtime. He got the chance to redeem himself with a game winning shot to end it. The Titans are still without a loss. Damn. More »
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• Lions at Bears: With Daunte Culpepper metaphorically breathing down his neck, Dan Orlovsky has responded, and has the Lions thinking about winning their first game of the season in Chicago. And now, enter the one and only Sex Cannon (who just hooked up with Rashied Davis for a TD). More »
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This could be the week that time forgot. Jobs are on the line and crappy teams all over the league are forgetting that they are, well, crappy. More »
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To my knowledge there haven't been any delightful female-on-female celebrations in the stands at today's NFL games, but as we all know the real action takes place in the Carolina bathrooms. Fortunately the games themselves have produced their own entertainment, unlike your average Big 10 game. New Orleans and San Diego lit up London's Wembley stadium in the best of the early games, although some gentlemen from Stratford-upon-Avon, Warwickshire were wondering why the hell the yanks let foreigners name their cities. Continue after the jump for a look at what's gone on in the late games. Cleveland 23, Jacksonville 17 The Jags have hung with the Browns all day, and Josh Scobee connected on a 53 yard field goal to tie things up in the fourth quarter. However Cleveland took the lead right back after Horseballs found Syndric Steptoe on a crucial 53 yard completion. The Browns were in a perfect position, but they had to settle for a field goal to retake the narrow lead. Garrard has kept things moving on the ground as well as in the air, although the duo of MJD and Fred Taylor appear to be hiding behind Shaun Rogers. He'll need some help to get back in the game with time running down. Pittsburgh 14, New York Giants 12 The two first place teams are engaged in a tense battle that has yet to deliver much on the scoreboard. Eli has been downright awful against the Steelers pressure, while Big Ben has been up and down all day. Roethlisberger connected with Nate Washington on a 65 yard touchdown bomb after throwing a couple of interceptions earlier in the game. Mewelde Moore has been better than serviceable through three quarters, although it will be up to the defense to seal this one in the final quarter. UPDATE: The followed up on a field goal with a stop that led to Pittsburgh's substitute long snapper sailing one out of the endzone. The resulting safety ties the game up 14-14 with under seven minutes to play. Houston 35, Cincinnati 6 Every afternoon needs a good solid ass kicking, and fortunately the Bengals are here to fill the need. Matt Schaub has carved apart Cinci's defense and the ball has barely touched the ground all day. Andre Johnson is having a big yardage day, but it's Kevin Walter with two touchdowns. Mario Williams has a sack and a forced fumble on Ryan Fitzpatrick with Amobi Okoye snagging the recovery. The Bengals would like to know if they could have three or four more bye weeks. Seattle 34, San Francisco 13 Seneca Wallace has struggled at times, but he hasn't been terrible, and he's leading the Seahawksto a blowout over the 49ers. Even with the absence of a running game (Jones/Duckett/Morris have combined for 15 yards on 19 carries) Wallace has led two touchdown drives, the most recent culminating on a 43 yard hookup with Leonard Weaver. Shaun Hill has seen some time under center in relief of J.T. O'Sullivan, but he hasn't gotten them in the endzone either. More »
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The Packers will keep pace with the Bears in the NFC North. Green Bay has managed to all but shut down Reggie Wayne and Marvin Harrison today, although Dominic Rhodes filled in nicely for the injured Joseph Addai (pronounced "Add-ee-ay", if you're Jeremy Piven). Manning threw a late pick on the goal line that Aaron Rouse returned for a 99-yard TD. 34-7 Green Bay, and it's all but official. More »
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You remember that "Favre who?" sign you drew up at the beginning of the year when Green Bay started 2-0, only to shove it back in your closet after they lost 3 in a row? Well, it might be time to take it back out and dust if off, because Aaron Rodgers is looking sharp today! The Colts offense spent much of the first half on the sidelines - by last count, we were at 14 shots of Peyton sitting angrily with his arms crossed - and Manning led off the 3rd with a pick that was returned for a touchdown. 24-7 Pack in the 3rd. More »
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All of the early games are final, and here are your scores: More »
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• San Diego at Buffalo: As reader The Fan's Attic points out, the important thing to remember here, kids, is that despite the numerous power outages in the arena during this game, the suggestive dancing never stopped: "Bills cheerleaders continued their routines along the sidelines." More »
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ESPN screw-up aside, there is a wild, wild game going on in the Windy City. The Bears lead the Vikings 27-24 in the third. Chicago's D has already scored two touchdowns, and Chester Taylor stole a TD from Adrian Peterson's fantasy owners just before the half. Blocked punts and field goals are everywhere in this one. More »
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The games are still in their relative infancy, but here's what's going on so far... More »
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Those clever Dolphins with their misdirection. I know if I stare long enough Ronnie Brown is going to pop out of nowhere and run my ass into the ground. Brown rushed for 125 yards and a touchdown while Chad Pennington continued to excel at keeping the ball from hitting the ground (75.8% passing). Another big win for the annoyingly plucky Dolphins, 17-10. More »
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As we head into the second half of the early games, we have a broken record to report. Chiefs' Tony Gonzalez has broken the NFL's career record for yards receiving by a tight end. The record, previously held by Shannon Sharpe, stood at 10,060 yards before today's game. DeAngelo Williams has 102 rushing yards, 25 yards receiving and 2 touchdowns on the day so far. The Panthers are enjoying a 24-0 lead on the Chiefs. The Chiefs not enjoying it so much. More »
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Tennessee 13, Minnesota 7. The Titans think they're able to stop Purple Jesus. But Peterson already has 44 yards and one TD...NY Jets 21, Arizona 0. It's raining in this game. RAINING FAVRE! They're reviewing this last touchdown to Coles, perhaps to see if there was any illegal touching... More »
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Gus Frerotte, the journeyman QB, may have saved the Vikings' season this afternoon. Behind Frerotte's 37-year old arm, and a relentless defense, the Vikes extinguished Carolina 20-10 and notched their first victory of this young NFL year. Purple Jesus wasn't very god-like, as the injured back carried the ball 17 times and ended the day with 77 yards. More »
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• Steelers at Eagles: A.J. Daulerio kindly requested that I attach the photo you see above to this post, which should tell you everything you need to know about the emotional state Eagles fans are in this afternoon. The Steelers jumped out to a 3-0 lead late in the opening quarter, via a 37-yard field goal kick from Jeff Reed's dong. More »
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You could have guessed that the Buccaneers and Bears would play a close game in Chicago, but I'm pretty sure that only the most diehard of Bengal fans could have pictured Cincinnati pushing the Giants to overtime in New York. In the end only the Bucs and Giants will go home with a victory, each on the arms of their quarterbacks (capped off by chip shots from their kickers of course). More »
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