Deadspin: Nick Saban

Just As He Promised, Nick Saban Finds A Way Around The SEC's Oversigning Rules [UPDATE]

Barry Petchesky — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 15:05:00 EST

Remember this? When the SEC reduced the annual signing limit from 28 to 25, in order to curb the growing scourge of schools signing more players than they could offer scholarships? And how SEC coaches voted unanimously against the new rule, because it limited their "flexibility," but the rule passed anyway? No sweat off Nick Saban's back. He's got his own lo-fi signing tricks. More »

Tim Tebow And Nick Saban Pizza Portraiture Is A Thing Now

Sean Newell — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 12:30:00 EST

It goes like this: "in the Tennessee Valley, a Madison pizzeria is going out of the norm to create pizzas in the likeness of football icons." There is little need for further explanation, really. Somewhere in Alabama, pizzeria shop owner "Famous" Joe Carlucci and a high school student have pushed the boundaries of pizza making to its limit with their (secret!) cheese-face-picture method, that's all. More »

Former Dolphin Says Nick Saban Calmly Stepped Over Convulsing Teammate In '05

Emma Carmichael — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 18:50:00 EST

We'll make this one brief, because if it is true, than it is stale by about six years—but we do jump at any opportunity to point out instances in which Nick Saban might have behaved like a dick, and this anecdote certainly qualifies. More »

Nick Saban Was Irrational For Not Being More Selfish

Timothy Burke — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 18:12:18 EST

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My favorite family legend involves my dad's baby sister—my "Тетка," in Macedonian—Bonnie. As the story goes, Bonnie's first-grade class organized a Brownie troop, and their first act was to elect a troop leader. When they counted the votes, Bonnie was the only girl who hadn't voted for herself. Upset at this outrageous display of self-interest, she walked out and in tears announced to my баба she'd quit the Brownies. More »

Moments Later, Nick Saban Turned Green And Tore A Referee's Torso In Half

Timothy Burke — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 21:40:23 EDT

In what is turning out to be the most boring Biggest Game Evar, Alabama is tied 3-3 with LSU at the half in a game filled with hard hits and big mistakes—including three missed Crimson Tide field goals. That's not what has Nick Saban enraged (blame a missed penalty call for that) but you can see his anger in the highest of animated Compuserve GIF quality here. More »

Watch Bemused Florida Coach Will Muschamp Ask An Analogically Clumsy Reporter "What's A Padawan?"

Jack Dickey — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 15:40:00 EDT

In journalism school, as far as I know, they don't teach you to begin your SEC press conference questions with "Excuse the Star Wars reference, but..." You're supposed to inquire along the lines of "How do you stop that guy, coach," and "Would you like to score more points in the second half?" Alas, this poor young reporter bucked the trend and baffled Will Muschamp. More »

Nick Saban Was A Dick To Will Muschamp's Poor Mother

Jack Dickey — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 13:35:59 EDT

With college football—nay, SEC football— arriving this weekend, and without great expectations for the Gators, it's time for the Palm Beach Post to stoke our football interest by apprising us of blood feuds. More »

Alabama Sorority Girl Rap Is One Of Those Videos That Thinks It Is A Parody But Is Actually Just Really Embarrassing

Jack Dickey — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 19:25:00 EDT

The Alabama Sorority Girl rap is not the Andover rap, folks. It's not fraught with a damn thing. There's half a level of irony at play here, tops. More »

If He Knew How, Nick Saban Would Troll Football Websites To Get Back At Reporters

Brian Hickey — Sat, 06 Aug 2011 12:30:00 EDT

University of Alabama football coach Nick Saban's "first news conference of the preseason practice schedule" is annually a seminal moment in Tuscaloosa. At this year's FNCotPPS, Saban expressed dismay with the speed by which stories/rumors/innuendo spreads in the information age. Sayeth Saban to the press corps, "You all can go crazy out on misinformation and bad information and have no professionalism to try to find out if it did or didn't happen. Just to create some you-know-what." More »

Alabama Football Player Found Dead; ESPN Insider Has The Story On Which Player Can Best Replace Him

Emma Carmichael — Thu, 12 May 2011 16:15:00 EDT

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The University of Alabama has confirmed that Aaron Douglas, an offensive lineman, was found dead in Florida this morning. There are no more details regarding the nature of his death, but ESPN Insider's Albert Lin is ahead of the news in some awful way: earlier this afternoon, the "Rumor Central" writer published a post briefly mentioning Douglas' death, and then attempted to seamlessly segue into speculation about who might earn the open starting spot in his place. More »

Here's Video Of The Nick Saban Statue Descending "From The Clouds Of Heaven"

Brian Hickey — Sun, 17 Apr 2011 16:00:00 EDT

Not one to be outdone by statue-unveiling Florida and/or statue-announcing Auburn, the Crimson Tide made a nine-foot statue of Nick Saban available for everyone in Tuscaloosa to see yesterday. More »

Alabama Gas Station Makes Shopping For Contraception, Saban Photos Easier

Brian Hickey — Sat, 27 Nov 2010 18:00:00 EST

Shopping season is upon us and tipster Nick B. sends in a suggestion for those looking to procure pre-framed images of Alabama Crimson Tide head coaches: Just find the jimmy hats. More »

If You're Into Watching Nick Saban Spank Young Men, Today's Your Lucky Day

Brian Hickey — Sun, 14 Nov 2010 10:45:00 EST

Here's video of Alabama coach Nick Saban having a heated conversation/keeping his pimp-hand strong with backup QB A.J. McCarron last night. More »

Naked Photo Of Someone Who's Probably Not Nick Saban's Daughter Is About To Go Viral

A.J. Daulerio — Fri, 17 Sep 2010 10:45:00 EDT

It started off with an email from a man named David: "Any interest in Nick Saban's daughter, who is a sophomore at Alabama, topless?" And then some other dude sent us the pic rapidly circulating around SEC cell phones. (NSFW) More »

Alabama Candidate Uses Horrible Photoshop To Gain Nick Saban's "Endorsement"

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 11:10:00 EDT

A Bessemer, Ala., mayoral candidate put a picture of her and Coach Saban on a campaign poster. It looks shopped. I can tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few shops in my time. More »

Everyone, Everywhere Has To Do Some Cheating, Says NFL Agent

Sports Radio Interviews — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 17:10:00 EDT

Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: NFL agent Ralph Cindrich. More »

Mark Ingram's Money-Laundering Father Gets Extended Sentence For Watching Sugar Bowl

David Matthews — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 18:45:05 EDT

Mark Ingram, father of Heisman Trophy winner Mark Ingram, will serve an extra 27 months in federal "[Office Space quote]" prison after jumping bail to watch Alabama's 2009 Sugar Bowl loss to Utah. More »

Just Two Horsemen Shy Of An Apocalypse

Barry Petchesky — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 10:00:00 EST

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »

Last Night's Winner: Joyless Robot Prigs

Tommy Craggs — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 09:55:32 EST

In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Nick Saban, recipient of history's unhappiest Gatorade bath, a coach who won a national championship but would probably fail a Turing test. More »

Let's Cleanse The Palate With Some Real Football - Or At Least Kickers

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 06:30:00 EST

The One With All Sorts Of Crap

A.J. Daulerio — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 17:00:50 EST

We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. More »

Does Miguel Cabrera Need a Valtrex Prescription?

The Cajun Boy — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 18:16:16 EDT

Wow, that's a grody canker, isn't it? Anyway, Michigan and Notre Dame are still battling it out and USC and Ohio State comes later, so consider this your open thread. And oh, I have a fun story for y'all! More »

Nick Saban Signs Infant To Letter Of Intent

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 09:00:00 EDT

Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap. More »

Do Not Mess With An Auburn Coach's Wife

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 12:15:28 EST

Tommy Tuberville "resigned" yesterday as the head coach at Auburn University. Unfortunately, no one bothered to tell his assistants, who were out on the road recruiting, completely unaware that they no longer had jobs. As you can imagine, their families are not too happy about that, so a couple of assistant's wives did what anyone would do in that situation—call a sports talk radio show. More »

How Much Do LSU Fans Hate Nick Saban? The Coonass Bowl Is Upon Us

Clay Travis — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 14:30:08 EST

Wright Thompson of ESPN hung out with some LSU fans two weeks ago for the Georgia-LSU game. Not surprisingly LSU fans were focused less on Georgia and more on their hate for Nick Saban. The result is a rollicking story of what happens when you get dumped for a hated rival and then your former coach rips Cajuns by making fun of coonasses. "As the drinks start to flow, so does the level of anger. There are jokes, both innocuous and disturbing (like Ragoo opining about what some of his less-civilized brethren might do with a 12-gauge should they spy Saban in the Bayou). "If I were him I'd be very discreet," Ragoo cracks. "He might not make it back." Just a healthy rivalry. I'm sure Alabama quarterback John Parker Wilson knows all about how beloved he is in Baton Rouge after the phone calls he got this week. So cute and funny, those death threats. More »

Alabama Fan Waxes Eloquent On Life, Tennessee, and Saban

Clay Travis — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 14:00:36 EDT

This is what it has come to: an erudite Alabama fan self-nicknamed "Cowboy" is Phil Fulmer's greatest defender. And Cowboy thinks that Nick Saban might be watching his analysis. Which, given that Saban is all-knowing and all-powerful, He probably is. Find a better mustache than this, I dare you. More »

College Football Preview: Y'all Better Recognize Joe Pa Wants His Daps, Yo

Clay Travis — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 11:45:38 EDT

The eyes of the college football world shift to Nashville, Tennessee this weekend where the mighty Vanderbilt Commodores will be hosting Auburn. This is a huge game for Vandy. The last time they beat Auburn was 1955, the same year that Rosa Parks instituted her bus boycott in Montgomery. Yep, black people couldn't ride in the front of buses the last time Vanderbilt won in this "rivalry." But the theme of this weekend is undefeated Big 12 teams go on the road to face tests against decent conference foes that they should beat but could slip up against. Texas Tech is traveling to Kansas State, Texas is headed to Colorado, and Missouri will be at Nebraska. All three of these games will be broken down below as soon as I recover from my hangover brought about by playing Sarah Palin cliches during last night's vice presidential debate. (I'd like to take this opportunity to give a shoutout to Ravenwood High School in Brentwood, Tennessee. You get extra credit for reading this.) By the way, another top ten team already gone via Thursday night football? Congrats to Pitt fans (Wannstedt is safe for another few weeks!) and wave goodbye once more to South Florida. On to the breakdowns of the 10 most interesting games. More »

Giant Houndstooth Hat Arrives For Alabama Concession Stand: The Bear's Den

Clay Travis — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 11:30:28 EDT

Somewhere the ghost of Bear Bryant is crying. And not just because Alabama outsourced the giant houndstooth hat to a Connecticut based company. But because, you know, this seems like something that should exist just outside the Tampa Bay Bucs pirate ship. The goal is to spruce up the concession stands at Bryant-Denny stadium. In addition to the Bear's Den (get it, get it), there will be Ezell's Fish Camp (looks like a fish camp) and Crimson Fried (looks like everything that everyone is already eating). How big is the houndstooth hat? Try 550 pounds. More »

Nick Saban, Dancing Machine

Leitch — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 17:45:43 EST

Every Day Should Be Saturday has the video: It's Nick Saban, cutting a proverbial rug at some sort of holiday event. It's like watching a young Travolta, really. It's a lazy holiday Thursday present for you. More »

In A Year, He'll Invade And Occupy Columbus, Georgia

Leitch — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 10:40:57 EST

Nick Saban was supposed to be the savior for Alabama football — and hey, the Dolphins sure have taken off since he left — but the team has collapsed down the stretch, losing their last three games, including last week's home loss to Louisiana-Monroe. Fortunately, Saban has been able to keep the losses in perspective. More »

The Day The Poon Died ...

skeets — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 15:45:46 EDT

I don't wish to put a damper on your college football fun, but I have very bad news. So, please, stop what you're doing for a second, sit down, and maybe chug some hard liquor. SEC Poon is dead. (I'm sorry.) More »

I think this is some kind of story about...

sussman — Sun, 08 Jul 2007 13:35:57 EDT

I think this is some kind of story about how new Alabama football coach Nick Saban might already have to deal with some NCAA violations. But I was put in a magical trance by the Photoshop work done here. Which is exactly how I've scraped by in my blogging career thus far. [Loser With Socks] More »

They Have A Love For Nick Saban That I Can't Comprehend

mjdeadspin — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 19:00:00 EDT

Fifty-one thousand is a lot of people to show up to a college football scrimmage, and before yesterday, that was the all-time Alabama record. But you add the magnetic appeal of Nick Saban to the mix ... and all the sudden, 51,000 seems paltry. Nasty Nick drew over 92,000 people to his first spring game at Alabama. More »

Sorry Nick, We're Just 'Not Feelin' It'

rickchand — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 13:30:57 EST

Hot quarterback prospect Robert Marve of Plant High School (Tampa, Fla.) isn't going to Alabama after all. Such is the magical allure of new Tide head coach Nick Saban, who played host to Marve's recruiting visit recently and obviously told one of his folksy, down-home coon-ass stories that everyone loves so much. More »

Nick Saban's Odd Way Of Bonding With Reporters

Leitch — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 14:00:23 EST

Curious how new Alabama coach Nick Saban could possibly become less popular? (Well, other than screaming "Roll Tide!" while having sex with two strippers.) Well, check out this audio from an "off-the-record" chat with reporters about the whirlwind of Saban hate coming out of Miami right now. More »

Wooo!!!!!!! Roll Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide!!!!!!!!!

Leitch — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 13:30:45 EST

You might have noticed, when Nick Saban, officially the new Guy Who Is Everything Wrong With Sports (at least until next week, when we've forgotten about all this business), arrived in Alabama, an enthusiastic fan fought through the crowd and planted one right on the guy. (Saban, ever cool, took the buss in stride, and didn't even seem to mind.) More »

Nick Saban Brings Promise, Destruction to Alabama

Leitch — Thu, 04 Jan 2007 10:15:21 EST

Nick Saban and his presidential motorcade rolled into Tuscaloosa late yesterday afternoon may have startled gawking locals distracted by the big, fancy automobile rolling through town, as the Tuscaloosa News reports that "Saban's Motorcade Distracts Drivers": More »

And Nick Saban is....Heading to Tuscaloosa

Leitch — Wed, 03 Jan 2007 10:32:33 EST

Miami Dolphins head coach Nick Saban has decided to walk away from the pro game and head to the University of Alabama . Saban, who was offered somewhere in the ballpark of a 25 year, $98 kajillion deal from the Crimson Tide, will no longer be part of the Miami Dolphins rejuvenation program. More »

Alabama Just Won't Give Up On The Nick Saban Thing

mjdeadspin — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 15:13:29 EST

Miami Dolphins head coach Nick Saban could be the recipient of a $40 million offer, including $7 million in a signing bonus, from Alabama. That's what the Miami Herald was reporting last night on their website. The offer would make him the highest-paid college coach in the history of the world, and not more than a handful of NFL coaches would be making more. More »