Deadspin: Nightmare Fuel

Meet Sgt. Stripes, One Very Unsettling Bowl Mascot

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 14:40:43 EDT

Let me tell you about the worst football game I've ever been to: it was Temple vs UCLA at RFK Stadium, in the 2009 EagleBank Bowl (the forerunner to the Military Bowl). It was well below freezing, it was windy, the stadium was empty, there were rats in the bathroom, my team lost, and I actually paid American currency to watch Temple football. All of which is to say, a football with cartoon eyes added in post-production is probably the perfect mascot for the Military Bowl. More »

Iman "Justin Bieber" Shumpert Is Here To Give You Nightmares

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 11:45:00 EDT

Knicks draft pick Iman Shumpert is playing in the Vegas league, and getting salty he's missing New York Fashion Week. He's also filming locker room videos of unspeakable horror. Shumpert and Bieber now have another thing in common, besides both being booed by Knicks fans.[Posting and Toasting] More »

Last Night's Winner: Al Davis, For Still Being Alive

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 19 Jan 2011 11:15:00 EST

Al Davis is 81, at least in human years. That he's walking and talking and introducing Hue Jackson as head coach is remarkable. Still, you'll thank me for not going with the hi-res versions of these photos. More »

Today In Horrifying Mascot Unveilings

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 14:05:00 EST

Poland and Ukraine, cohosts for the 2012 European Football Championship, unveiled their mascots today. Take a glance now, and study them at leisure when they come to you later tonight, in your dreams. Standing over you. Staring. More »

Texas's Terracotta-Army-Like Statues Are Here To Frighten And Confuse Us All

David Matthews — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 19:15:00 EDT

What you see here a nice piece of statuary built in honor of one of the great Texas Longhorns of all time: Al Jolson. More »

Florida Marlins Rookie Hazing Takes Uncomfortable, Fake Pube-y Turn

David Matthews — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 13:15:00 EDT

The Marlins took part in baseball's long-held tradition of dressing rookies as women recently, and no one was more up to the task than Logan Morrison who dressed as Angie Everhart—who research shows was never on Baywatch. What an idiot. [Last Angry Fan] More »

This Is What Happens When A Blogger Auditions To Sing The National Anthem

Drew Magary — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 10:00:56 EDT

Earlier this year, I came to the Washington Nationals with an idea to sing the anthem at one of their games and write about it. And they were mildly intrigued, until they heard my audition. More »

Here's Something To Ease You Off Your Fear Of Clowns

David Matthews — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 16:00:00 EDT

This Juarez street clown was arrested Wednesday on an alleged sexual assault charge filed by his teenage stepdaughter. Freaky, yes, but not as freaky as the Phil Spector mug shot. [The Smoking Gun] More »

Montauk Monster Has Hideous, Equally Baffling Canadian Cousin

David Matthews — Sat, 22 May 2010 13:25:20 EDT

A mysterious animal has washed up in a reservoir near the Kitchenuhmaykoosib Band reserve in northern Ontario, but no one can decide exactly what it is. Sound familiar? More »

London Olympic Mascot Photoshop Contest: Fin.

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 21 May 2010 14:45:36 EDT

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A hundred entries later, and we have a winner. Congratulations Ryan, you win Doug Glanville's book. To the rest of you, you never cease to amaze us. And keep those submissions coming; we'll continue to add them to the gallery. More »

A Roundup Of London Olympic Mascot Photoshop Fun (UPDATES!)

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 20 May 2010 15:45:00 EDT

You people are clearly talented, and clearly bored. Our contest will continue through tomorrow, and we'll keep adding new submissions until then, but here's a look at the early competition. (UPDATE: We have a winner!) More »

Presenting The London Olympic Mascots Photoshop Contest

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 20 May 2010 13:30:00 EDT

The twin horrors of London 2012 are oh so exploitable. To that end, we're calling for your photoshopped submissions. Fabulous prizes abound! More »

London Olympic Mascots Are Revealed, Monstrous

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 19 May 2010 14:20:00 EDT

Wenlock and Mandeville, their cyclopean eyes representing England's Big Brother police state, were unveiled today. You might as well just sacrifice your firstborn now and get it over with. [Telegraph] More »

DeShawn Stevenson's Horrifying Neck Tattoo Would Like To Invite You To Watch Basketball

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 01:00:00 EDT

Abe Lincoln: our 16th President. Legendary orator. Possible vampire hunter. And now he's back, in ink form, to get Mavs fans riled up. Jesus Christ, it's got teeth. More »

Pantless Man-Bird To Lead William and Mary Into Battle

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 10:45:44 EDT

The nation's second-oldest institution of higher learning is named after a hybrid king and queen, so it's only fitting that their new mascot is a hybrid of .. something. Part bird, part lion, all WTF? More »

A Cheerleader-Eaten-By-A-Mascot Blast From The Past

David Matthews — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 18:30:00 EDT

Last time we checked in, we thought we were dealing with a new phenomenon. Footage unearthed today by reader Art, however, explicitly shows an '80s-era cheerleader being devoured by a mascot on something called Barbara Mandrell and the Mandrell Sisters. More »

A Children's Treasury Of Mascots Eating People

David Matthews — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 18:05:01 EST

Mascots are running wild at our sporting events, both home and abroad. Who will put a stop to the madness? And why won't the music coordinators at these arenas use Temple of the Dog in place of Weird Al? More »

Purdue Pete's Child-Terrorizing Days Are Numbered

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 16:40:00 EST

Purdue is redesigning their mascot, after many complaints about scared children. Not this li'l tyke, though; Purdue Pete swallowed him whole before he could register fear. More »

I Saw Mommy Kissing Nightmare Ant

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 18:30:29 EST

Sure, it's a little early—unless you're Jewish—but everyone's favorite NBADL mascot would like to wish you a happy and healthy Non-Denominational Holiday Time ... with visions of unspeakable horror dancing in your heads. More »

The Pacific Boxer Does Not Wish You Sweet Dreams Tonight

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 18:15:25 EDT

Pacific University—not to be confused with The University of the Pacific—has a mascot who likes to play tennis. He may also be the Gatekeeper of Gozer, but I wouldn't worry too much about that. More »

Georgia Bodypainter Shouts The Virtues Of A Nice Base Layer

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 16:45:52 EDT

This video sort of defies analysis, so I'll just set it up this way and trust you to watch the whole thing: This man is not an albino pro wrestler. Just a very intense and very white Georgia Bulldogs fan. More »

Ray Allen Has The Eye Of The Tiger

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 08:45:00 EDT

Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap. More »

The One With Bizarro Topless Eric Snow And Other Things

A.J. Daulerio — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 15:15:20 EDT

We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW) More »

BK-Sponsored Soccer Kit Will Make You Cry

Barry Petchesky — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 17:15:00 EDT

OK, it's pretty bad to watch Beckham jog around in his Galaxy Herbalife jersey. But things could be worse. They could be much, much worse. More »

They Call Him MISTER Pig

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 23:00:00 EDT

Because Deadspin hasn't nearly covered Furries enough this month (exhibits A and B), here's Green Bay's Nick Barnett with some new friends. [Twitter, via reader Tim] More »

Hypospadias And You: An In-Depth Study Of Bong Dick

Drew Magary — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 13:00:30 EDT

I live in the DC area and I have a baby boy, so it's only natural that scientists have now discovered that DC drinking water might be deforming baby boy's genitals. WOOHOO! More »

Just In Case You Wanted To Know What A Dwarf Wrestler Funeral Looks Like

A.J. Daulerio — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 17:43:08 EDT

Those two little masked heroes that were killed by bandit hookers last week had a well-attended funeral, which could have easily been mistaken for a Rob Zombie film. [The Sun via BarStoolSports] More »

I've Always Said To Get The Full NASCAR Experience, You Need To Bring An Extra Fake Leg

A.J. Daulerio — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 09:00:43 EDT

Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap More »

And This Is What Shows Up In Your Inbox The Day After You Do A Post About Transexual Filipino Basketball

A.J. Daulerio — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 09:15:19 EDT

Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap More »

And Now Your Lunchtime Entertainment: Transexual Basketball From The Phillipines

A.J. Daulerio — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 13:45:04 EDT

Where emasculation happens... [Baseline] More »

I Have Seen The Devil, And He Is A German Cycling Fan

Gourmet Spud — Sat, 16 May 2009 18:10:11 EDT

Dios mio! El Diablo! Lucifer, a.k.a. Deutschland's Didi Senft, crashed the Giro of Italy earlier this week in his own unique, horrifically terrifying fashion. You know times are tough when even Satan needs corporate sponsorship. More »

Most Disturbing Sports Souvenir Ever

Sarah Schorno — Sun, 10 May 2009 14:00:00 EDT

I now give you a referee who wears one of his fingers around his neck. [Queensberry Rules] More »

Don Cherry Is To The Limit

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 01 May 2009 13:45:04 EDT

Behold Don Cherry's musical debut, "Rock 'em Sock 'em Techno." It's like if Snap! and EMF had a baby that was dropped on its head by the Chemical Brothers. [Puck Daddy] More »

Throwback Uniforms That Will Possibly Make You Want To Throw Up

Rick Chandler — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 11:00:04 EDT

If there's one thing that history has taught us, it's that mustard yellow and brown are excellent choices for professional sports uniform colors. See, this is why I miss you, American Football League. More »

Yep. That's Bruce Pearl Rapping With No Shirt On

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 15:00:00 EDT

Apparently, the coaches at the University of Tennessee are involved in some sort of wager to determine which one will be elected Mayor of Crazy Town. Check and mate, Bruce Pearl. More »

This Man Is An Elite Athlete

Pete Gaines — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 10:45:00 EST

Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap. More »

Oklahoma City's Proactive Mascot Just Doesn't Get It

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 13:45:42 EST

Putting aside the dubious manner by which Oklahoma City received an NBA team, the decisions that have been made by the marketing department since then are hard to describe as anything but headscratching. More »

On-Court Drowning Nearly The Most Exciting Highlight Of OKC Thunder Season

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 12:30:38 EST

If you've even been to a live sporting event in North America, then you've probably seen some terrible halftime entertainment—but that's because so few halftimes involve a death-defying act that actually defies death. More »

Auburn Fans Love A Challenge

Rick Chandler — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 14:45:57 EST

Is Brian Baldinger's Mangled Digit Growing A Face?

A.J. Daulerio — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 18:30:10 EST

Brian Baldinger's permanently dislocated little finger has been well documented by many, many people since he first started appearing on national television as an NFL analyst. More »