Remember when Mariano Rivera turned the 2013 baseball season into a goodbye tour of sorts, and everyone loved it because Mo is one of the most universally admired baseball players in history? Well now you're going to hate it forever, because it set in motion the worst idea ever: a Bud Selig goodbye tour.
From ESPN's Jayson Stark:
That idea came about, he said, in part because several clubs reached out to him after his announcement and asked to honor him, but also because Rivera's farewell tour got Selig to thinking about ways to connect with people who love baseball.
"I like that," Selig said. "I like talking to people. And ... that's what I want to do: [speak to] season-ticket holders, people who work at ballparks. I just like to walk around and talk to people. I love that. I did that when I ran the Brewers. And I enjoyed it. I miss that."
This is some bullshit. Bud Selig is, as we've discussed before, a commissioner who absolutely did not matter. All he's ever done is run the league in the way that required the most minimal amount of effort and critical thinking on his part. He stood there and let the rose petals fall down on him during baseball's steroid-infused renaissance when that was what the times seemed to demand; he took up a position as a stern drug crusader when circumstances changed. Ninnies like that shouldn't get victory parades.
And, just in case you were still in doubt about the ultimate motivations behind Selig's steroid witch hunts, this should clear that up:
Not so long ago, Selig conceded, there was a time when he was so unpopular, he couldn't have done anything like this.
"It would have been an ugly experience," he said. "If I'd done it in the '90s, I would have needed nine security people to make sure that I made it out of there."
Congrats, Bud. You've made a mockery of yourself and the league, but at least you get a victory lap.