Helpful Advice From Gabe Kapler: Jerk Off With Coconut Oil

Former MLB outfielder and current Fox Sports 1 talking head Gabe Kapler is a man who possesses a lot of knowledge on how to live a healthy lifestyle, knowledge which he often dispenses on his personal blog, A recent post about the many uses for coconut oil contains some of Kapler's most important advice yet.

You're moisturized and smelling tropical, your teeth are white and your face looks like you've just visited a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon. The sun has set, and the moon is out. Perhaps you have a friend nearby, perhaps it's just you by your lonesome…well, this is awkward. I've promised you authenticity, honesty and openness. Take this how you wish and I'll spare you the step by step. Coconut oil is the world's greatest lubricant. I can't help where your mind goes with this. Once the ball leaves the bat, I can't steer it.

So there you go, sports fans. Start masturbating with coconut oil.

[Kaplifestyle via Fenway Pastoral]