If you've watched any of NBC's Olympic coverage, you've probably found yourself enjoying the work of Mary Carillo, whose woman-on-the-scene reports are one of the more enjoyable parts of the network's coverage of the games. But Carillo's never been better than she was at the 2004 summer games, when she unleashed one of the greatest monologues of all time.

What starts out as a simple explanation of the difference between standard and professional badminton gear becomes something so much greater. The story begins with Carillo's daughter getting the shuttlecock stuck in a tree, quickly transitions into a surreal, nightmarish depiction of suburban life, and ends with Christopher Burr—it's always Christopher Burr—nailing Carillo's car with a roller skate. The whole scene should have been a Chagall painting.

h/t Wesley