Look, Sherwin, if you really want a piggyback ride, do what I did: First, go to a local Furries convention and get all chummy with the porcine contingent. Next, invite yourself to one of the weekend mixers and then spike the punch. You know what's next, right? Riiiight. Let me tell you something, Sherwin, my dick still smells of my sexual conquest, and yours can, too.
What I'm trying to say, my friend, is that I got drunk and porked a ham sandwich.
I'm not sure what Josh Hamilton was thinking when he wrote the twitter handles of those who mocked @JoshHamilton on his cock, and then nailed a middling rando in a public restroom with that cock, but now, yeah, whenever he pees, it stings.
"It was a bad call on me?" "Yes." "Was it really?" "Yes." "Why didn't you tell me that before I threw it? "Because, Dennis, I wanted to see if you'd really throw a backdoor slider to Gibson."
The fisherman had heard of the invasive species, much as one hears of Nessie or giant squid. He had heard horrifying tales of its rapid proliferation, and its danger to the local ecosystem. But it wasn't until he caught one in mid-flight that he truly understood the jumping ability of the legendary Asian carp.
Look, if it's a real insta-sensation you want, just take a teaspoon of Janis Joplin's cremains, add water, stir vigorously and take a sip. Esophageal syphilis really tickles the throat, and fast!