My Government Name is Berto, But My commented on Dad Now Says South Florida Coach Didn't Slap His Kid After All

" You do something like that, you put them in jail Zsa Zsa Gabor agrees."

My Government Name is Berto, But My commented on Missouri Basketball Players Say Cheerleader Beatdown Was Self-Defense

"Mark Mangino thinks Johnson should be sent back to the ghetto so she can get shot like her brother."

My Government Name is Berto, But My commented on A-Rod Loses His Golden Muse

"The reason for the breakup: Hudson complained that he "kept trying to hit the gaps instead of just coming up the middle""

My Government Name is Berto, But My commented on Tiger Woods Roundup: A New Vixen Cashes In Her Self-Esteem For Tabloid Infamy

" Lawrence Taylor says the first thing Tiger Woods should do when he goes back to golf is beat the crap out of Jesper Parnevik Uh, LT, Jesper had a bit part in Who's Your Caddy?."

My Government Name is Berto, But My commented on Missouri Basketball Players (Who Are Women) Beat Up Cheerleader (Who Isn't)

"I heard he was assaulted because he kept yelling "2,4,6, 8, WHO DO WE APPRECIATE?" After that, he was punched in the face by both players. When asked why the male cheerleader was assaulted, both Hanneman & Johnson said that "he knew damn well we couldn't count that high"."

My Government Name is Berto, But My commented on Why Latest Tiger Madam Could Be Full of Crap: The Manning Files

"I'm sure Peyton has been flagged for illegal use of hands on the dance floor before."

My Government Name is Berto, But My commented on Why Latest Tiger Madam Could Be Full of Crap: The Manning Files

"Now that his wingman Plexiglass is locked up, Eli can get all the NY poon he wants."

My Government Name is Berto, But My commented on You Can't Have A Conversation About Tiger Woods Without Mr. Belding

"That pic looks like a match made on Craigslist."

My Government Name is Berto, But My commented on Early Game Open Thread: Count The Santa Hats In The Stands

"You coulda just went with Terrell Owens & His Shattered Ego vs."

My Government Name is Berto, But My commented on Don't Root Against North Carolina On Their Home Court Or You Will Be Ousted By Roy Williams

"He was yelling out " We're from a town named after a womanizing former U.S."