metroville commented on John McEnroe: "The Greatest Match Ever I've Ever Seen..."

"John McEnroe has obviously never seen me play Wii Tennis."

metroville commented on Charlton Heston Can't Take It With Him, But Man, If He Could...

"I hate to speak of ill of a dead penis, but...exactly how small was it?"

metroville commented on The Infamous Matthew McConaughey Flip-Flop Losing Incident: The Video!

"@kookla: @hughman: It also reminds me of a terrible movie!"

metroville commented on Dear Diary- I Shared An Elevator With Ben Affleck!!

"@metroville: And would it kill you to know the difference between "would" and "what"?"

metroville commented on Dear Diary- I Shared An Elevator With Ben Affleck!!

"What it kill you to make an obvious, non-hipster music choice for this segment?"

metroville commented on One More Special Message To Go

"That was racist."

metroville commented on Oversexed 'Top Gun' BBQ Joint Succumbs to Great Balls of Fire

"Maverick will no doubt blame himself for this loss; hopefully, Viper will show him that he was not to blame and Maverick will ultimately find solace at a new barbecue joint named Merlin's."

metroville commented on Nike Finally Releasing Back to the Future Part II McFly Sneakers, Sort Of

"Nike should call it the "Shue". Yes?"

metroville commented on Mini-Me Sex Tape Conclusive Proof That Our Civilization Is Doomed

"@arirang: @Boop97006: Troyer obviously has as much of a right as any other human being (except for, y'know, pedophiles and whatnot) to get him some."

metroville commented on Mini-Me Sex Tape Conclusive Proof That Our Civilization Is Doomed

"I'd always wondered if there was anything I could witness that would compel me into a spot-on impersonation of the Nazi's demise at the conclusion of Raiders of the Lost Ark...and that video clip was it. Thanks, internet!"

metroville commented on This Woman Is Smiling Because She Just Humped A High School Baseball Team

"This story made me want to murder a sub sandwich."

metroville commented on Bad Math and Short Memories Spin Wacky 'Hulk' Hate-In

"@Benovite: I would totally see that, as I imagine it would involve the Hulk mincing to and fro while handing out puppies from a basket."

metroville commented on Boston Just Can't Get Enthusiastic About Sports Rioting Anymore

"Breaking down the percentages in that photograph, the thrill of knocking over a flower pot apparently pales in comparison to the excitement of watching someone else do it."

metroville commented on 'Grey's' Insider: 'I Don't Want To Say Katherine Heigl's An Ungrateful Bitch, But--Oops! I Guess I Just Said It!

"Hey..."Monk" is funny."

metroville commented on Are You Ready For Another Boston Championship?

"I only wish that Ray Allen had starred in a feature film as a talented basketball player and that the very title of the film was complimentary toward the ability of said player so that I could now call upon that film title in reference to Ray Allen's performance tonight."

metroville commented on These Are Your Gods Now: Forbes Announces Its Celebrity 100

"Whatever...I've had way more than 2 web hits."

metroville commented on ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day

"In Russia, 20 points scores you!"