@Chris Hanson's Axe: Nicely done, +1
@All Over But The Sharting: I have been laughing to myself at this for a while now.
@Fallopian Tubing: Of course there is something good that can come out of this: the more people talk about him, the more buzz he gets. I'd guess that one-third of his page hits are from people who can't stand him just to see what will be written next.
How many times do we get links on Deadspin to Simmons' various articles in which someone points out how pompous or moronic he is? You think Simmons hates that? Hell no; as long as people are talking about him he's earning revenue for ESPN through page hits. This whole Pierce thing is funny because by "showing a thin skin" he's probably boosted his pageviews and most likely his online book sales today and for as long as this thing plays out.
How many times do we get links on Deadspin to Simmons' various articles in which someone points out how pompous or moronic he is? You think Simmons hates that? Hell no; as long as people are talking about him he's earning revenue for ESPN through page hits. This whole Pierce thing is funny because by "showing a thin skin" he's probably boosted his pageviews and most likely his online book sales today and for as long as this thing plays out.
Translation: "PICK MEEE! PICK ME!!! I LIKE FOOTBALL! I CAN PICK A WINNING COACH WITHOUT BEING GIVEN ANY REAL RESPONSIBILITY! PICK MEEEE!"
Having said that, it's not like the Broncos couldn't use some good PR.
Having said that, it's not like the Broncos couldn't use some good PR.
@skahammer: No, I think you got it in one.
@Fallopian Tubing: Because people at ESPN are supposed to be "above it all"? It's not public office, chief, it's a sports news channel (or used to be, anyway).
This article was rushed, pointless, and terrible. And I'll believe he's on Kobe's level when he stops quitting when it matters. I was at Game 6 last year when he gave up, and I've seen it other times on TV. When it matters, he's a goddamn ghost.
Lemme know when he has a ring with his new team of SuperFriends. Until then, he's still just an egomaniac who can't win in big games.
Lemme know when he has a ring with his new team of SuperFriends. Until then, he's still just an egomaniac who can't win in big games.
I bet that groom can't wait to travel to Parts Unknown later that night.
I prefer jerking it in the state of denial.
@GREGORYABUTLER10031: In missing my point, you're putting out there that I actually share the viewpoint of a rapist that forcing yourself on someone is ok. That is a low blow in order to sensationalize your argument and it's a sad cop out for someone who cannot see the larger picture other than "he's willing to argue levels of consent; me must be a rapist sympathizer!!!!!" It makes you look like you're grasping at straws, homie.
Fact is, drunk people (such as the OP) can and have given others spoken, verbal, EXPLICIT consent to someone who is also drunk and therefore cannot pick up on truly how drunk the consentor is. Just because it's not up to your standards doesn't make it immoral and it certainly doesn't make it rape in the eyes of federal law. Feeling guilt or remorse after a bad decision (see: DECISION) doesn't make the other person a rapist.
And for the record, you're talking out of both sides of your mouth: earlier you said "buzzed" is ok but "drunk" is not. Judgment can be impaired with just one drink, which seems to play into your big argument. Either you're splitting hairs (not hares) or you're not; don't do both in the span of two posts. Have some consistency in your replies, please.
Fact is, drunk people (such as the OP) can and have given others spoken, verbal, EXPLICIT consent to someone who is also drunk and therefore cannot pick up on truly how drunk the consentor is. Just because it's not up to your standards doesn't make it immoral and it certainly doesn't make it rape in the eyes of federal law. Feeling guilt or remorse after a bad decision (see: DECISION) doesn't make the other person a rapist.
And for the record, you're talking out of both sides of your mouth: earlier you said "buzzed" is ok but "drunk" is not. Judgment can be impaired with just one drink, which seems to play into your big argument. Either you're splitting hairs (not hares) or you're not; don't do both in the span of two posts. Have some consistency in your replies, please.
@brick frog: Bite my racist insecure ass!
@GREGORYABUTLER10031: You might not be able to tell the person is in mid-blackout, but the odd behavior, sexual acting out, nonsensical statements and just general air of stuporousness around them makes it clear that they are not competent to be making any decisions.
Under normal circumstances I'd completely agree, but you (being a serious drinker and all) must see the irony in your statement.
When both parties are drinking/drunk, it's not implicitly the man's "responsibility" (for lack of a better word) to make sure he's making the right decisions for both people when the woman seemingly can't (in a manner of speaking based on your assertions). Bad decisions can and are made by drunk people on a regular basis, male and female. If one drunk person can't ascertain the other's level of "stuperousness" because they themselves are stuperous, that does not make the person a rapist. It makes him/her drunk and/or stupid. That isn't rape.
And while yes, the smart money is on going your separate ways and meeting up sober the next time, that wasn't the point of the post or the subsequent back-and-forth. The point was: is the OP's recounting a case of rape?
Under normal circumstances I'd completely agree, but you (being a serious drinker and all) must see the irony in your statement.
When both parties are drinking/drunk, it's not implicitly the man's "responsibility" (for lack of a better word) to make sure he's making the right decisions for both people when the woman seemingly can't (in a manner of speaking based on your assertions). Bad decisions can and are made by drunk people on a regular basis, male and female. If one drunk person can't ascertain the other's level of "stuperousness" because they themselves are stuperous, that does not make the person a rapist. It makes him/her drunk and/or stupid. That isn't rape.
And while yes, the smart money is on going your separate ways and meeting up sober the next time, that wasn't the point of the post or the subsequent back-and-forth. The point was: is the OP's recounting a case of rape?
@GREGORYABUTLER10031: But again, we're arguing about implied facts and not ones divulged by the OP. She never said she couldn't walk home; she only said that she made him carry her home. She never said that she babbled because she has no idea if she babbled. For all we (or she) knows she could have appeared no less lucid than someone who had only imbibed a couple of drinks. There's even a poster who replied to her original post stating that she blacks out early but still has lucid conversation.
I guess that is where my hang-up is on whether not she was too drunk to consent and how much harder it is to judge that line. It's not as simple as "I can't remember it, so it's rape." I know it'd be cute to put a bow on it like that, but it's not possible.
You're assuming something (that she was a drooling, incoherent, sloppy drunk) that simply isn't implied by the OP herself at all.
And my worldview isn't focused on the woman as a "gatekeeper"; it's focused on my experiences and those of people I know (male and female) who have both dealt with these problems and/or have made up a story about being "blacked out" in order to pass the buck on why he/she would sleep with someone less desirable or attractive than them. It's gross but it happens and it's dangerous.
I guess that is where my hang-up is on whether not she was too drunk to consent and how much harder it is to judge that line. It's not as simple as "I can't remember it, so it's rape." I know it'd be cute to put a bow on it like that, but it's not possible.
You're assuming something (that she was a drooling, incoherent, sloppy drunk) that simply isn't implied by the OP herself at all.
And my worldview isn't focused on the woman as a "gatekeeper"; it's focused on my experiences and those of people I know (male and female) who have both dealt with these problems and/or have made up a story about being "blacked out" in order to pass the buck on why he/she would sleep with someone less desirable or attractive than them. It's gross but it happens and it's dangerous.
@WitDickman: Oh, I am. However, I've been told that once something depraved has an official name women no longer want to do it. So I'm sticking with "awesome".
@GREGORYABUTLER10031: I wanted to weigh in here, even though I'm male and a Deadspin reader. Please reserve judgment until after my post, please.
1) She didn't say that he had to carry her home; she said that he said that she "made him" carry her home. Two totally different things and it's important to see the difference.
I've had women ask me for piggy-back rides home after a night at the bar or to carry them home just to be playful or, yes, perhaps because they're tipsy. That doesn't mean she's too wasted to engage in consensual sex.
2) I'm trying to wrap my brain around how this is rape. If she consented while drunk, was able to have conversations, reciprocate affection, etc then it's not rape. The fact that she blacked out while still being able to function is unfortunate but isn't something the man foresaw from the tone of her story.
Was it a little skeevy that he didn't just put her to bed and let her sleep it off? Sure. But let's not go overboard and say categorically that he raped her. She was functioning and she reciprocated. He was drinking as well, and drunken sex isn't rape. Is he supposed to be a fortune-teller and see forward to the next morning to check if she'd remember everything?
I'm wondering where the slippery slope ends; should men have to now predict the future of whether or not a woman who says "yes" will remember consenting the next morning?
Now "yes" means "no" as well?
1) She didn't say that he had to carry her home; she said that he said that she "made him" carry her home. Two totally different things and it's important to see the difference.
I've had women ask me for piggy-back rides home after a night at the bar or to carry them home just to be playful or, yes, perhaps because they're tipsy. That doesn't mean she's too wasted to engage in consensual sex.
2) I'm trying to wrap my brain around how this is rape. If she consented while drunk, was able to have conversations, reciprocate affection, etc then it's not rape. The fact that she blacked out while still being able to function is unfortunate but isn't something the man foresaw from the tone of her story.
Was it a little skeevy that he didn't just put her to bed and let her sleep it off? Sure. But let's not go overboard and say categorically that he raped her. She was functioning and she reciprocated. He was drinking as well, and drunken sex isn't rape. Is he supposed to be a fortune-teller and see forward to the next morning to check if she'd remember everything?
I'm wondering where the slippery slope ends; should men have to now predict the future of whether or not a woman who says "yes" will remember consenting the next morning?
Now "yes" means "no" as well?
He couldn't be less attractive because of the time you blew him while he was puking. I just wanted to make sure I read that right.
I did? Oh, ok. Huh.
I did? Oh, ok. Huh.
@WitDickman: Let's just go with "awesome" and let that be the end of it.
Having a holiday schedule based entirely on federal holidays sucks floppy donkey dick. No New Years holiday this year. At all. Fuckers.
@Dog and a Beer: Are you calling Jesus gay? Sure, the robes made him a little flamboyant and being light in the loafers may have helped him walk across water (making him flam-buoyant I guess?)...but gay?
@Body By Bacardi: The problem is that those women will pretend to be enthusiastic about going out knowing ALL along that they will end up being the Mother Hens who keep their friends from hooking up with people. They almost revel in pulling their holier-than-thou bullshit at every opportunity. Most of them are hideous and I HATE THEM.
