You don't get it: first you pay them, THEN they play well for you. They need to know you love them!

I like what Washington is doing here.
Hah! Everything thinks that guy is a loser/idiot and he's likely oblivious to it!
When I was general manager of the Islanders, I had a program like that with our entire roster listed. Each player had a drop down menu next to their name with options:

1. Pay Irrational Amount of Money
2. Trade for Enigmatic Russian
3. Trade Just Before Prime
4. Oh, it's just Richard Park (none)
You'd think he would have been noticed earlier when a bunch of black teenagers ran out of the plane yelling, "Omar comin', ya'll! Omar comin'!" while he was boarding.
Team Poland goes down in flames on Russian soil.
Chances he didn't do it? Yep, you guessed it: SQUADOOSH!

Actually, it should probably be "SQUADOUCHE."
Oh please, I played games in the bleachers.
"Pale Blue Eyes" by The Velvet Underground.

I sang that one to Zdeno after I informed him he'd been traded. He decided to drive to Ottawa immediately rather than wait for his flight later that day.
Is it bad that I guessed what the acronym stood for before I clicked the jump?
I used to sign off on trades while holding my son, Alexei.
If I didn't know any better, I'd say a duck was doing the commentary last night.
@Mr. Praline: Jack Campbell, baby. Gotta build from the baseline on out!

Or is that blue line? Whatever.
Brush it off LeBron, they say they hate you and that you ruined their franchise because you mean so much to them.

It's just a perverse form of love and admiration.
I'll be announcing my engagement to Pierre McGuire tomorrow on Spike.

We're calling it "The Proposal."
Alright, Bob, $8 million over 3 years and that's my final offer. Sather can't possibly match that!

/RIP Mr. Probert
This is almost as devastating as the time Bryan Muray called early one morning to remind me that I traded him Roberto Luongo after 12 shots of Cuervo Silver the night before.
Why, I love the gays and Europeans!

SIGN ME UP, BABY!

/jerkoff motion
They used to always have to do this for my head shots because I refused to take off my Alexei Yashin t-shirt jersey.
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