I think Matthew Mueller and @MermaidBanger were in on the joke.
Unrelatedly, I am now following @MermaidBanger. (I'm hoping for some interesting photoshops).
Mr. Hamilton is then approached by a very average looking woman.
They proceeded to order a plate of jumbo shrimp, before beginning a high-level discussion of military intelligence. When their political views clashed, there was a deafening silence.
Then they screwed in the bathroom.
Considering the slobbering coverage he's getting from the media, it's surprising that Lin is the one who has something hanging from his chin.
If Mark Wahlberg and Rodney Harrison had been in that club when Gronkowski started dancing, there would have been a lot of blood in that VIP section.
And also a lot of blinded elderly Asian men.
Dante: Jack scored 31 touchdowns.
Customer: In a row?
Customer: In a row?
Hey Jack, try not to score any touchdowns on your way to the parking lot!
That might make sense, if Dantonio hadn't just finished his own 15 minute masturbatory speech about Michigan State and Kirk Cousins.
** Unless the person to be teabagged had a high-school crush on the Aluminum Monster.
When do you get free from the pirates?
Is it sad that I've spent an inordinate amount of time (unsuccessfully) trying to find the Happy Housewives bathtub scene on the internet, so that I could relive an early masturbatory experience?
Kind of the loser version of a guy who actually got laid during his teenage years hooking up with an old girlfriend at the high school reunion.
Deleted because Always Winning beat me to it. Fuck that guy, he's always winning.
Does Chris realize the irony of calling someone else "douche-tastic"?
If hating Tim Tebow is wrong, just call me Pontius Pilate.
Hey, I know Daralene Jones! We had 9th grade English class together! Man, I remember her getting pissed at our teacher one day. Something about a reading assignment promoting cannibalism of Irish babies, I don't remember the details.
Shhh - I'm married too, but we're not supposed to let the "once every three weeks" secret out of the bag, or we'll never convince our single friends to get married so that we can go to Vegas bachelor parties.
Note to all married people: It's not a drunken hookup failure if you then get to have sex with that person approximately 1,824 additional times over the course of your lives together.
We want that never-to-be-regained opportunity with the hot girl dressed as a Hooters waitress at the Halloween party, or gtfo.
We want that never-to-be-regained opportunity with the hot girl dressed as a Hooters waitress at the Halloween party, or gtfo.
There was one night back in 1991 that everyone expected Billy Owens to score with her, but shockingly she went home with some player from Richmond instead.
Second only to the Northern Arizona Masters of Business and Law Academy
"Despite Everything That's Going On Around You, The Tacoma Narrows Bridge Is Still One Of the Greatest Architectural Accomplishments In The Motherfucking World."
- Drake's grandfather, November 7, 1940
- Drake's grandfather, November 7, 1940
He opined that the thief either stole it for drug money, or is Mark Eaton.
Not to be a suck-up, but that's just a great line.
Not to be a suck-up, but that's just a great line.
