My bizarre internal thought tic: "Benito Santiago" said in a falsetto. Been this way for about 7 years. Also effective as a bizarre external thought tic.
Silent. I debacled a friend in his truck on Saturday. It was low & hot and one of those robust drank 15 Newcastles the night before deals. A beefy-with-a-hint-of-brewery-floor-mopwater dirty bomb. I unleashed hell and after about 10 seconds.... "Goddammit." Down goes the driver's side window, chortles and self-satisfaction emanate from the passenger side.
I can cut quality loud ones, but if they're too big, I have to do 'em in stages - BRRRRAP... POP.... squeaker - otherwise, I'd crap my knickers. This happens frequently (the stages, not sharting). But the first one is still loud enough to make Helen van Biscuits proud.
Yeah, the day that farts cease to be funny is the day the Lord can take me.