Dear Brendan McNamee

How DARE you imply that I only come to Deadspin for Favre dong shots! You don't know me! I've never been so insulted in my entire life! I come for the wit! The erudition! The in-depth reportage everyone else is afraid to touch! Also? The Jenn Sterger tit shots.

Yeah, no kidding. The IV pole and attending oncologist really give him away.
Even if he leaves it dangling?
In response, Gary Bettman's office later released a statement reading "Hey look! Winnipeg!"
Can't wait to see your list of the 16 teams you would contract to achieve that caliber of play.
Jesus. I don't think I've ever been more ashamed to own a penis.
And that young black man saved by our intrepid hero? DeMaurice Smith. And now you know the rest of the story.
I'm guessing Dynamite, The Chechen Babushka didn't make it out of focus group.
True. If only there were some sort of giant apparatus, hanging over the field say, over which moving pictures could be broadcast. If such a marvelous thing existed, why it would indeed allow them to see a damn thing, AND take advantage of their newly gifted access to Jerry's monkey butlers. If only!
@Sun Girl: The CRTC. The gift that keeps on fucking us up the ass.
@Its_Jetertastic: What do you think this is? A burlesque house??
@gulag: Due to my current state of health, I've begun with beer and Tylenol cold and sinus. This will be followed by an extremely peaty Laphroaig single malt and NyQuil chasers.

I fully expect to be conversing with cheesehead bedecked unicorns by halftime.
Jezebel?!? Ah, geez. Now I'm gonna have to watch how much I drink and spit wax my eyebrows. And wear pants.
@I Like Cheap Beer: That's pronounced "UConn" son. The six is silent.
@Steve Grogan Bud Bowl MVP: Correct. But you still must chose between them.
@twoeightnine: Considering neither Gretz nor Robitaille were on that Ranger team, they also apparently win Cups by travelling through time.
@Eddie Murray Sparkles: If it doesn't fit, you must flick your own...

Wait. I'm not doing this right.
@JonathanSafranFoyer: I think you just described Donald Rumsfeld.
@Same Sad Echo: Huh. And here I thought it was "Thou Shalt Not NOT Be Funny."

Christmas Ape has a lot to answer for.
@Walk Off HBP: NSA. My hard drive is strictly limited to professional porn.

My camera on the other hand...
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