Sounds like Tiger was using the left leg in a unique torque obsorbing position slightly different then the one he has used since he was putting with Carson 30 years ago...

Mrs. Clemens- I think it started when Roger approached be about the benefits of HGH...ah, this is confidential right? OK, and Mrs Petite mentioned how her husband injected his, uh, you know, to increase his recovery and build stamina. Roger promised me he would be able to perform longer and break lots of records. I thought he was talking about intimate matters and now he was only concerned about his self image as a baseball Titan.

Mr Clemens - No, you misheard and misremembered the facts. I did not know HGH could do that, why would we inject you and not me?

Marriage Counselor: Roger I see you have a penchant for distorting the facts.

The love he is getting has me thinking all new strategy.

This is a great country LT.

Lost in translation-
The Agent is attempting in english what is much easier and more common in every other language where football means soccer. In the UK I picture John Clease stammering through that quote making it impossible to follow.

Photo evidence- he prefers a more rotund backside than his 6-4 anorexic spouse has to offer. Who can fault a man?

John: Looks like we are over budget still on the stadium. Ted, we have to cut .001% of this thing.
Ted: But,... I am only the draftsman on this job.
John: I thought I saw on your resume you were a Phd in Economics and a MS in engineering?
Ted: That was to get me that job designing bridges in Minnesota when I got layed off from Starbucks.
John: Outstanding. So you do have experience in construction, you make the call. Cut something.

I will add in the background of the photo is a group dancing salsa, another playing dominos, and a room full of people whose parents are non english speakers.

I might add that there is a bar "on" campus and shorts, tight plunging necklines, and tan hard bodies year round a few miles from south Beach

Welcome to Miami. What was it like at your school - jeans and sweatshirts in the summer?

Perhaps they might elect a brighter colored team like red or orange...this will make it easier to take good tackling angles. That 5-10 second hesitation in finding the opponent is enough for the opponent to break 40-50 yds on that Defense. Blocking on kicks may also improve.

California? Can we find that on a map?

Well the next thing you know the whole world is aware,
The Vol fans are caught in some crazy fencing snare
So they look in a trees and what do they see?

Hippies that is
Hairy, man sized Hippies

The Berkley Hippies

Well after the game it was time to say good bye
But before they all left they had some time to get high
Not the kind youre thinking of no sir-ee
They all climbed them trees and shared their stupidity ( optional verse two "Whiskey")

This day is a "Joe -say it isn't so" moment of our generation.

Will we tell stories about the most athletic Qb to ever play the game to our children?

I feel rather corrected and controlled

Side note: Polular "manspeak" - ...oh your wife is getting a boob job... call your attorney the divorce is coming.

As far as taking virginity on prom - I would be curious how many said "yes, but will you love me forever" ala Meatloaf...

That killed the mood for me and I was no longer interested in "praying for the end of time"

Otters don't tunnel they swim and play like teenagers

...you mean like minks and rabbits?

C Portis

...Stop the killing of my innocent razorbacks you war mongor, overweight, conservative, christian extremist....you should have that gun shoved up your wazoo,[Mental Picture of Monica Here] now I am really mad! I am going to ban children when I am elected...

Not sure which kill is bigger...