I sure hope he got the Rootie Tootie Fresh 'n Flutie.
Former Ukrainian national hockey coach, accused of sexual assault, found dead in jail.
Madonna stalker escapes from mental hospital.
I'm disappointed that @MermaidBanger isn't Tom Hanks...
Man (not) Eater
Two-thirds? Slacker.
-Steve Howe
Somebody got a thesaurus for Christmas!
(Just kidding, no one has a thesaurus anymore, they just the function in Word.)
Just noticed that this was done earlier.
Couching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Look! Right there! They're saying that black people are wise! How can that be racist?
Self-Loathing Mets Fan
Redundant.
And I, Bruno, will luge 1,000 feet into a block of cement. On my head yet!
2. Selma Bouvier
Fax Machine Follies
Sondheim tried to update his musical for the 1990s, but it still wasn't enough.
Did they cross the streams?
"Congress is OK, but I miss the NFL."
-Heath
"He fell on a golf club or something," the caller says.
It was a million-to-one shot, Doc.
But is he master of his domain?
Come on, man. Take your pads off.
--Lana Tisdel
