I was thinking make it in the top 20 comments on every post or don't bother. amirite?

What the fuck man!

Hey Rob, just came by to tell you thanks for helping me out a couple weeks ago.

Is this the place where I can shamelessly beg for account approval? Have I not labored in obscurity long enough?

@Rob Iracane:

Thanks for your message yesterday (I'm sober now). I had no idea how scary it can be to put your feelings out there for an audience to judge . . . tons of respect for you guys who do it for a living.

Mr. Iracane,

I would like to respectfully request that you approve my account. I work in an office full of feminists who talk about their periods all day; I need some sort of outlet to maintain my hormonal balance, so my balls don't, you know, invert. I promise I will only bring to the table, and never take away. I will do whatever it takes to get approved - do you need me to knock off a card game? Shank someone? Elephant walk (no homo)? Please, good sir, I'm just a normal kid from Jersey with a lofty dream: to tell dick jokes all day on the internet in lieu of doing work. Only you have the power to make that dream a reality.

Your humble servant,
HaleysRocket

Dearest Robert,

In the interest of my constant search to find new ways to waste time at my job, after over two years of reading the site I have decided to humbly submit my request to have my account approved. I swear I'll be good.

Hi Rob!

Should I continue to comment and prove my worth until my account is approved? Or should I wait until you get to approving it?

Thanks!
Alan

Hey man, approve a cracka will ya?

Come on Rob, I just have to have my commenting Privleges Approved. Three people in my office think I am funny. Give it up Big Guy.

commentguru > love guru

please approve this slurping is hurting my manhood

If I admit you are funnier than me will you approve

Thank you good sir. It combines three of my true loves, the Red Wings, the Simpsons, and Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

I never thought I'd beg for the approval of a guy I dont know, but I am at that stage.
PLEEEEAASSE!!!

Bro, it was few throwaway comments about a sport I don't enjoy. Is dissension not tolerated here or something? Enlighten me with how you'd define my schtick.