Tim McCarver agreed until it was explained that comparing the North Koreans to the Yankees had nothing to do with their treatment of Joe Torre.
"Do you want to know the terrifying truth? Or do you want to see me sock a few dingers!"
I remember a whimsical sadness when I realized I'd reach the point where most successful athletes were much younger than me. Then one day years later, I opened my mailbox and the mail fell on the floor. I sighed in resigned dread, understanding the aches my back and knees were about to endure through the simple process of my bending down and picking it up.
So yeah, just wait. It won't be long before Jozy Altidore's most impressive feat is that he doesn't have to get up to pee in the middle of the night.
@Pete Gaines: I just thought that was the new "Brooding Harry Potter" look that's popular with the kids these days.
/employed ultra-serious, pained expression in every photo taken between ages 13 and 17; thought it made me look sexy.
@Hustler of Culture: Good theory, but I'm not sure Rex Ryan would ever order just one of anything.
@Phintastic: What about those of us who are grown men reading about who a 13-year-old boy would like to kiss on a sports site? I am suddenly overcome by a feeling that is somewhere between ashamed and pathetic...
@TT-Zop: +1 Seriously, I can't even think of a better kind.
/off to buy steaks for dinner tonight.
@SynicVance2.0: Not my intent, but I see that it came out that way, which is regrettable. I meant my life (as living without a liver wouldn't be possible), and tried to equate that with the life of a would-be mother in danger. Whatever, an analogy that requires elaboration is just a bad analogy, and a bad analogy with regard to this subject isn't cool. Sorry.
Oh, and since this is Deadspin, let's pretend I also just said something funny.
@Chris Hanson's Axe: Science says things? In this case, it just seems like science elucidated probability. So the odds, for pretty much everyone, are against giving birth to a Heisman winner whose throwing motion is only slightly faster than that of Dontrelle Willis. The Tebows beat those odds. Hooray for them. Doesn't mean I'm going to go to Vegas and bet my liver at the Roulette table. Well, not before I've prayed really, really hard, anyway.
@FredTheDorfDorfman: Oh no! Coach Childress!
Monta Ellis ridiculous trick shot - 4 in a row.
#tips
I just looked up "merkin." Needless to say, this was a great way to start off a new year of learning.
Rich Eisen and I should be allowed to marry if we damn well please. Stop depriving us our rights! (Wait, what was this about?)
Peter King will gladly purchase that picture of Favre. Why? So that it doesn't get into the hands of some sleazy tabloid, of course! It's certainly not for "personal use."
Jay Feely apologizes like a politician. "Maybe I did a poor job of expressing my sympathy..." or maybe we did a poor job interpreting your comments. Mr. Feely, I apologize if you are offended when I call you a douche. Maybe I did a poor job of expressing my appreciation.
Live, Warriors at Nets. A Big 12 rivalry is renewed as Oklahoma's Eduardo Najera and the New Jersey Nets host Nebraska's Mikki Moore and the Golden State Warriors.
Please let that "confused neighbor" who made the 911 call be Wesley Snipes...
Seems to me the mispronunciation is a much smaller offense than the inanity of the ensuing conversation. Perhaps no one noticed due to the amount of stupid conversation that occurs during most NBA broadcasts.
Sean Salisbury wants to know about the aperture settings on Steve Phillips's cell phone camera. #stevephillips
In a medical first, that wall of meandering, incomprehensible text just gave me Asperger's syndrome.
