Chris Bosh Is Getting Ornery For Some ReasonS

The NBA season starts tonight, so journalistic outlets the world over are publishing stories on the Miami Heat, because last year they repeated as champions, and this year they could three-peat as champions, and LeBron James and Michael Jordan and legacy and narrative.

You can't just interview LeBron, though. And what's been kind of entertaining is what happens when reporters interview Chris Bosh, because the veteran forward's been semi-secretly spitting straight fire as of late.

Zach Lowe wrote a story over at Grantland about the chances of a Heat three-peat in which he asked Bosh about the Miami's transition defense, which at times tends to consist of LeBron James and/or Dwyane Wade pontificating at referees while the supporting cast concedes PUJITs. Bosh didn't name names, but he did speak on the subject.

"With the transition defense," he said, "there's just no excuse." You can just see him, shaking his head sternly. Outside of being an extremely proficient basketball player, Bosh has found a second life since joining Miami three years ago as a sort of living internet meme, with countless basketball fans frequently questioning his sexuality, speculating on whether he's part dinosaur, etc. But he's speaking his mind now! He's ornery! He's a firebrand!

We like that. ESPN has a story up about the defending champions' matchup against the Chicago Bulls tonight. (Apparently, the Heat are taking the game so seriously that they briefly practiced in football pads, for some reason.) There's some context to tonight's opener: three seasons ago, the Dallas Mavericks beat Miami in six games to win the NBA championship. The Mavericks then opened the next season against the Heat, and got absolutely annihilated. The Bulls, ousted by the Heat in the Eastern Conference semifinals last year, will be trying to pull a Miami Heat on the Miami Heat. Bosh knows his opponents' sentiment, and will not stand for such foolishness.

"We wanted to embarrass [the Mavericks] on their home floor," he said. "We wanted to defecate on their night and we know [the Bulls] want to do that to us. They want to spoil what we have going and we're aware of that. We have to hit first."

Bosh isn't quite ready to go full Kobe and talk about shitting on people in front of reporters. But defecate seems like the best possible substitute in this situation. At any rate, it's a good start for Bosh. If you see any other Bosh easter eggs hidden among the trove of Miami Heat literature, send them our way. Let's see where this leads.

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