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Illustration by Matthew Craven. Lots more on his website. More »
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You know what's hard to do? This. Clint Dempsey has never embraced the workmanlike Yankee style that many American players appear to have stuck in their chromosomes. The man takes risks. He's good at it. It's why he's good. More »
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As is tradition, The Spoiler shall start with the bad news — only ONE player from our "Predicted Team of the Season" compiled in early August looks set to make the XI once the league is done and dusted. More »
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A 0-0 draw with Arsenal did the trick. Man U is now tied with Liverpool with 18 titles all-time. And now I'm going to stop talking about soccer before I get something wrong. More »
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Bad news for Arsenal fans ... in fact, bad news for all Premiership fans. Thierry Henry is taking his nifty feet and moving to Barcelona. With the move, Arsenal now seems like just another team while Barcelona inspires thoughts of, "Holy Christ, look at that line-up." More »
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After a day like today, it's hard not to love the relegation/promotion system employed by the international soccer community. The championship's decided, yet this final weekend was still the most exciting one of the season, and now, we'll get to bonus excitement of some stoppage time in the legal system. WooHoo! More »
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Manchester United clinched the Premiership title this afternoon, on a day when they were not playing, their head coach was on the golf course, and two other teams tied. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=258086&view=rss&microfeed=true • Man City 0-1 Man Utd. The derby win means that Chelsea has to beat Arsenal tomorrow, or Manchester United clinches the Premiership title. I realize that this is somber news for the Manchester United haters, so I offer this as well: More »
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• Watford 1-1 Man City. We start at the bottom today, and the team sinking even below the bottom. Watford sealed their departure from the Premiership today by failing to beat Manchester City, and they'll spend next season back in the Championship. They needed the full three points today, and would've gotten it, had goalie Ben Foster not forgotten which team Darius Vassell played for. We bid farewall to Watford, the only team in professional sports whose players dress more like McDonalds employees than even the Atlanta Hawks. More »
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• Arsenal 0-1 West Ham. Shots on goal: Arsenal 30, West Ham 6. Goals: West Ham 1, Arsenal 0. West Ham goalie did the yeoman's work this afternoon, and the woodwork of the goal suffered a vicious pounding at the hands of the Arsenal strikers, as West Ham earned got the unlikely win. Arsenal's lost three straight, and are now just two points clear of Everton for 4th place in the league — the last spot to be granted a Champions League birth. West Ham, meanwhile, remains buried in the relegation zone. More »
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Liverpool 4-1 Arsenal. It had to be a little difficult for England coach Steve McClaren to watch Peter Crouch notch a hat trick today. Crouch missed the last two England atrocities to have surgery to fix his busted snout, so the three goals he had waiting in the chamber went towards Liverpool's effort against Arsenal today, rather than to England. Liverpool jumps into third place in the standings, leaving Arsenal in fourth, just five points ahead of Bolton. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=248657&view=rss&microfeed=true That's Tottenham goalie Paul Robinson, wondering why it's so damn hard for anyone else to score a goal. He buried this one from 75 yards out against Ben Foster, who I believe had a bit of a smile on his face there before turning around and fishing the ball out of his own goal. More »
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• Manchester United 4-1 Bolton. Cristiano Ronaldo is as magnificent as he is handsome. He spent the day carving up the Bolton defense, setting up goals for Wayne Rooney (who had 2), and Ji-Sung Park (who also had 2). It was a dominating performance, but it didn't come without a price. Gary Neville somehow managed to cripple himself on an innocent-looking collision with Gary Speed. More »
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• Liverpool 0-1 Manchester United. They were playing with then men. Liverpool was controlling most of the play. Things were looking up for Chelsea, who desperately needed Manchester United to stumble... but two minutes into injury time, Cristiano Ronaldo set up for a free kick, it deflected off goalie Jose Reina, and John O'Shea knocked it home. It gives United three huge points, putting them (for the moment, anyway) twelve points clear of Chelsea in the race for the league title. Quite a turn of events, and particularly satisfying for Sir Alex Ferguson after he told Jose Mourinho to shut his goddamn mouth (or something) yesterday. More »
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• Fulham 1-2 Manchester United. They exchanged first half goals, Ryan Giggs in 29th minute for United, and Brian McBride in the 17th for Fulham (America, fuck yeah), and played the next 58 minutes at a 1-1 tie. But in the 88th minute, Cristiano Ronaldo felt very pretty and scored her 15th goal of the season. The win gives United a 9-point lead over Chelsea in the standings... Chelsea's got a game in hand, though, as they're not playing a Premiership game this weekend. More »
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According to this story (swiped from The Sports Frog), John Arne Riise and Craig Bellamy, teammates at Liverpool, were out with a bunch of teammates last night, having fun at a karaoke bar. Reese's agent, Jan Kvalheim, says the story went a little bit like this: More »
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• Manchester United 2-0 Charlton. Status quo for both Manchester United and Chelsea this week. There are still six points between them in the standings... seems like it's been that way forever. United wasn't all together sharp today against Charlton, but ... who needs to be impressive when they're playing Charlton? More »
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• Fulham 1-1 Tottenham. American Clint Dempsey saw his first action for Fulham today, coming off the bench in the 81st minute and... well, I don't think he did much of anything. He's listed in the match report as "Clinton Dempsey," which I think shows a lack of international respect for his gangsta nature. They didn't get the memo about not treading on this. Fulham tied the game with a late penalty kick conversion from Vincenzo Montella. More »
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• Chelsea 4-0 Wigan. Jose Mourinho spent the week pissing and moaning about injuries and not getting any new signings during the transfer window. Wigan's boss Paul Jewell would like him to stuff it. "I'd love to have his problems because at the end of the day, whatever side he puts out, it will be better than ours on paper." On the pitch, too, as it turns out. Points for honesty, though. More »
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• Chelsea 2-2 Fulham. Oh, that one hurts. Taking the draw at home against a middle-of-the-table Fulham side... I guess you suck, Chelsea. It's their second straight draw, and fourth consecutive Premiership game in which they've given up two goals (not coincidentally also the fourth straight game that John Terry has missed). It leaves Chelsea six points behind Manchester United in the standings, this one coming in part because big, hairy, American winning machine Carlos Bocanegra scored in the 84th minute to equalize things. More »
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• Aston Villa 0-3 Manchester United. The win means that Manchester United will hold on to the top spot in the league, no matter what Chelsea does against Wigan this afternoon. Had United lost, Chelsea would've been able to grab the lead in the standings, which would have been sort of depressing and not at all appropriate for the holiday season. Cristiano Ronaldo scored twice. More »
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• Arsenal 2-2 Portsmouth. Arsenal was able to claw out a point, despite facing a 2-0 deficit in the second half. Emmanuel Adebayor and Gilberto Silva scored just two minutes apart for the Gunners after Matt Taylor gave Portsmouth a 2-0 lead just after the break. Despite being just one point apart in the standings, Arsenal's coach seemed ready to cry about the tie, while Portsmouth's coach was downright giddy that his team didn't completely blow it. Go figure. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=222392&view=rss&microfeed=true I missed this during yesterday's Premiership coverage, which necessitates doubling up on the amount of soccer posts this weekend. Many of you, I'm sure, hate this. And I'm sorry. But Portsmouth's Matt Taylor did something yesterday that is not normal, and I don't think we should ignore it. More »
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• Manchester United 3-1 Manchester City. Cross-town rivalries are fun, but... well, you'd prefer they were a little more competitive. Manchester City hasn't won at Old Trafford in 32 years, and goals from Wayne Rooney, Cristiano Ronaldo, and Louis Saha kept them from doing it today. City actually gave it more of a go than you might've expected, but they're still City, and United is still United, and that's just the way it is. More »
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• Charlton 1-1 Everton. Look at that, Charlton didn't get their ass beat... much credit goes to new head coach Les Reed. In fact, Everton was fortunate to even get a tie with them, getting a lucky bounce off a defender's leg for their goal. Unfortunately, the one point they earned from this draw still isn't enough to pull Charlton out of last place. More »
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• Sheffield United 1-2 Manchester United. Wayne Rooney put Manchester United on his back today and earned them a crucial 2-1 victory over Sheffield United. Sheffield led after a goal in the 13th minute, but a couple of clean Rooney strikes gave the Reds the win. I don't think Rooney's performance can compare, however, to the guy who bit off Sheffield United goalkeeper Paddy Kenny's eyebrow in a bar brawl on Monday, as if that guy's not ugly enough. We have to much to learn in America about brawling and supporting our favorite teams. More »
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Aston Villa 1-0 Everton. Not a great day for Everton... midfielder Tim Cahill was taken out on a stretcher, and they lost at home to Aston Villa despite dominating the play for long stretches of time. The extent of Cahill's injury isn't known just yet, but since a stretcher was required, the injury could be as bad as a bruise, perhaps even a scratch. Alright, I'm sorry, that wasn't very nice. It looked like the guy's knee actually bent the wrong way a little bit. Best of luck to him. More »
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Today feels like a fine day to celebrate the legacy of Sir Alex Ferguson. As of Monday, he will have been Manchester United's manager for 20 years, and Guardian Unlimited has this list of his best all-time quotes. I'll be honest, in half of them, I don't know what the hell he's talking about, but I did enjoy these two: More »
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Bolton 0 - 4 Manchester United. Wee Wayne Rooney posted a hat trick earlier today, leading Manchester United to a 4-0 pounding of Bolton. The end of his eight-game goal-scoring drought prompted Rooney to burst into a rendition of Olivia Newton-John's Summer Nights. The win puts Manchester United back atop the standings, tied with Chelsea in points, but ahead on goal differential. More »
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• Everton 1-1 Manchester City. Rough day for Everton fans. First, they saw City defender Micah Richards steal a win from them with a goal in the 4th minute of injury time. Then Richards gave a profane television interview. Then City midfielder Joey Barton showed Everton fans his ass. The police are investigating (geez, British people take ass exposure seriously) and he'll probably be suspended over it. More »
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• Man City 2-0 West Ham. Crazy things can happen when you let a Greek guy run wild in "Man City." Georgios Samaras, the Greek national in whom City invested heavily, finally came through with a big performance today. Samaras scored twice against West Ham, busting City out of a bit of a slump. More »
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• Charlton 1-0 Portsmouth. You know who's the best team in the Premiership? Portsmouth. Alright, probably not, but... they're at the top of the table right now. They got there by beating Charlton 1-0 today courtesty of a 73rd minute goal from the awesomely-named Lomana Tresor LuaLua. They add this to their wins over Wigan, Middlesbrough, and Blackburn, and a draw with Man City. Not exactly a murderer's row, but hey, points are points. More »
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• Everton 3-0 Liverpool. Now that is how you embarrass a rival team. The Toffees served up an ass-beating to their neighbors, with Tim Cahill putting Everton on the board in the 23rd minute, and Andrew Johnson finishing Liverpool off with goals in the 35th and the 90th. Everton finds themselves at the top of the table, with 10 points through 4 games. Liverpool has 4 points through the three games. More »
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Reading 3-2 Middlesbrough. Give it up for Reading, the only team in the Premiership named after a railroad on the Monopoly board. They came back from a 2-0 deficit to win their first Premiership game, 3-2 over Middlesbrough. Boro scored twice in the opening 21 minutes, and it was all Reading from there. 'Boro's lucky they didn't lose by 2 or 3 goals, actually. More »
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