Here's some good news for Twins fans who want to get drunk at baseball games but really hate having to engage with human beings when purchasing beer: Target Field has just installed a self-serve beer machine, the first to ever exist in a major-league stadium.
Above is a picture of the machine, which is a true achievement in humanity's quest to making getting drunk as convenient as possible. The Star Tribune has the lowdown on how the machine works:
A patron goes to a concession cashier, shows proper identification to verify age and buys a vending card with either $10 or $20 on it for use at the station. There will be $50 cards available for the All-Star Game.
There are four beers to choose from, and they can be bought by the ounce: Bud and Bud Light (38 cents per ounce), and Shock Top Lemon Shandy and Goose Island 312 Urban Pale Ale (40 cents per ounce).
Customers can withdraw up to 48 ounces every 15 minutes. If that sounds like a lot, there is an employee at each machine to not only check identification but also to intercede should a patron appear intoxicated.
This is neat and all, but I feel like knowing exactly how much each ounce of swill is worth is going to depress a lot of baseball fans.