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Every year you watch A Charlie Brown Christmas, and every year you come away depressed. You're a real asshole, Charlie Brown. Originally published Dec. 9, 2010. Read Tom Scocca's counterpoint: "Charlie Brown Is Bigger Than Jesus." More »
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Christmas is four days away. I know this because my kids have been counting down the days since, I dunno, LAST goddamn Christmas. Children have boring lives. They have to go to school all day. They have to listen to adults tell them what to do. They can't watch porn. It blows. Christmas is one of the few bright spots in a child's existence, and waiting for it essentially destroys their brain. More »
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NFL commentator and sex advice columnist Bill Romanowski showed the same fire that made him one of the league's scariest players to face on the field in a live TV rant about perceived weaknesses in the Oakland Raiders organization. More »
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I don't know who invented the phrase "Turn in your man card," but whoever it is should be taken out in the street and have his balls stomped on by a fucking marching band. Every Sunday, I'm now subjected to some goddamn Miller Lite ad where the guys in it are like, "ZOMG! You're drinking a generic light beer? YOU'RE SUCH A FAG! Turn in your man card, faggity fag fag!" More »
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If you missed last night's schaudenfreudegasm with LeBron and the Heat getting lane-raped by J.J. Barea for 48 minutes, oh how you missed out. There hasn't been a more gratifying moment for sports haters since the Saints beat Favre and Manning back-to-back in the NFC title game and Super Bowl. It was glorious, delirious, WONDERFUL moment in hating. And the best part is that, come next year, we get to do it all over again! More »
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We've all had a good laugh about Anthony Weiner using his Twitter account to show the world that white Congressmen can have surprisingly decent-sized cocks. And we here at Deadspin have gotten a great deal of mileage out of men who, in fit of passion, decided to take pictures of their dicks and send them out into the ether, like digital herpes. More »
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Memorial Day weekend is coming to mark the start of summer, and once again I find myself confronted with assholes all over the place telling me I can't wear shorts. First there's designer Tom Ford: More »
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You only need to see the headline and the byline to know what you're in for with yesterday's breathtakingly pointless Easterbrook essay about President Obama filling out a March Madness bracket. Yes, some people are still actually debating this. BLACKIEHUSSEINBRACKETGATE! Let's dive in, shall we? More »
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I was ready for the 68-team field to fuck with the process of filling out a bracket for your NCAA office pool. But I didn't quite realize the extent of it until yesterday, when they unveiled just how this retarded new format will work. More »
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The current collective bargaining agreement between the NFL and its players union ends at 11:59 p.m. this evening. And whether or not there's an official lockout, or the union decertifies, or whatever other bargaining tactic is deployed, the business of football effectively ends tonight regardless. More »
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Seriously. Unless there's someone who is brave enough to drop a baby off a high-dive through a basketball rim, Deadspin is longer interested in trick shot videos. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5774970&view=rss&microfeed=true The ecstasy of driving a new Ferrari is almost always eradicated by the pain of dealing with Ferrari. It's out of control; to the point it will soon be pointless believing anything you read about its cars. [Jalopnik] More »
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The 2010 men's championship has been one the most exciting and competitive basketball tournaments ever. I hope you enjoyed it, because it will be the last time. The NCAA is determined to ruin the best thing it ever created. More »
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I was only half-serious when I lamented how the lame non-live coverage by NBC was ruining Winter Olympics. (I'm in curling heaven now!) But apparently there are others out there boiling over with tape-delayed rage. More »
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North Carolina head coach Roy Williams has previously demonstrated his complete lack of perspective on more than one occasion, but he still wants you to know that the Haitian earthquake was nothing compared to losing to Virginia at home. More »
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Here's what I learned about stock car racing last night: It requires a lot of shuttle runs, garage floors are never dirty, and the people who do it live in gigantic stainless steel kitchens (which are also never dirty.) More »
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In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Curt Schilling's boy toy, Scott Brown, who posthumously kicked Ted Kennedy's health care loving butt. This is exactly like the American Revolution, but more annoying. More »
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You can use this post as an open thread for tonight's Alabama-Texas game, which means it's the perfect place for trash talk, yelling at people on TV, or composing angry rants against the BCS. Here...let me help you with that! More »
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In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Unfortunately, the last 10 years were so depressing I'm not sure anyone actually came out ahead. More »
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Argentina's greatest soccer hero has caught a lot of flack since taking over the national team and leading them almost nowhere. But after dramatically securing a last-minute World Cup berth, he let loose with an epic kiss-my-ass tirade. More »
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If boxing wants to win the war against MMA, you know what it needs more of? Grumpy old white guys willing to provide insulting, homophobic, possibly racist rants about its rival audience. Take it away, Bob Arum! More »
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Not only did college football return to us last weekend, it brought back a classic genre of the YouTube age—the overstimulated SEC fan boiling over with rage as they watch their team fail on TV. More »
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Earlier today, police released videotapes of the interviews with Karen Sypher where she accused Rick Pitino of all that bad stuff. Well, Pitino did not like that one bit and he's got the angry press conference rant to prove it. More »
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Since this is the biggest sports audience I will probably ever have, I might as well go public with my longstanding NFL rant: the flea-flicker is not a trick-play. It's a play-fake. And it should be called once a quarter. More »
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You see them at every baseball game. The obsessive geeks who stake out batting practice and clamor over beautiful girls just to get random fly balls from third-string catchers. But now they're refining their tactics and upping their demands. More »
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What do you get when you combine a 3,000-hit Hall Of Famer, apple pie, a bucket of Miller High Life, and a microphone? An epic anti-steroid rant from Wade Boggs. Stop cheating Americana, baby! More »
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There are few things people enjoy more than listening to an angry parent complain about their kid's lack of playing time, but when it's a single-page, 16,000-word website with lots of CAPS LOCK, that's a different story. More »
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Sports columnists must love LeBron James. Not only does he provide fanciful fodder during the regular season and permit them to wax rhapsodic as witnesses during the playoffs, but even when his season is done, he gives them the material they need for their next-day opinions. More »
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Umpire Todd Tichenor has been savaged—savaged!—by citizens of the cyberworld for getting a little ejection happy last night, but there is one anonymous internet commenter who will not stand for this aggression! Rights will be wronged, one message board at a time. More »
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Apparently, some readers took issue with my recent characterization of Birmingham, Alabama, as a decrepit backwater devoid of all culture and sophistication. Wait, did I not say that? Because I should have. More »
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