Relive The Excitement Of The Worst Trade Deadline In Recent Memory

Today was the MLB non-waiver trade deadline. It's always a thrilling real-time event, where the stakes are high and nothing less than a championship is at stake. Who bought? Who sold? Let's look back on the deadline that was, through the eyes of our talented and hardworking baseball scribes.

The deadline started off with a bang!

Hm, not the strongest interest, but it's a start.

Hey, a trade! Bud Norris! An opening day starter! What other big names were on the move?

Ian Kennedy won 21 games a couple years ago. That's something!

That's...less something.

Hey, Erik Bedard got pulled from his scheduled start. He must be heading to a contender!

OK. But this trade deadline was bound to be a busy one, with big-time trade chips like Dioner Navarro, Luke Gregerson, Carlos Gonzalez, Howie Kendrick, Giancarlo Stanton, Michael Young, Javier Lopez, and Phil Hughes still available!

Huh. OK. But it's always the trades you don't see coming that turn out to be the game-changers, right?

Did anything happen today?

Worst trade deadline ever. Blame it on the second wild card or any number of factors, but when Bud Norris is the biggest name to go, it's hard to feel like we didn't just get served a fart sandwich.

Wait, what's this?

HERE WE GO. Finally, the blockbuster. The one that's going to change the entire course of the pennant race, and maybe the MLB power balance for the next few years.

Fuck me. Well, at least Butera will play a crucial role on the playoff-bound Dodgers, right?

Thanks for all your hard work today, baseball writers. You deserved better.