Once-great, now-good lunchpail German side Borussia Dortmund opened up their Europa League campaign away to some team from Norway aptly named Odds BK. August NIT games don’t impress us much, especially against teams from Norway, but Odds came out and scored 13 seconds into the dang match!

Borussia were slow waking up, and so now we had ourselves a ballgame. In the 19th minute, though, Odds BK midfielder Fredrik Nordkvelle, who very well may be a good little player, received a pass in midfield. No one on Dortmund felt like defending, so Nordkvelle dribbled to the goal and then kicked the ball into it.

What the fuck kind of defending is that?!?!?11?

This is generally when we summarize Odds BK’s third goal, which took place three minutes later and ostensibly effectively ended the game. But Odds’s third goal was trash, and Dortmund keeper Roman Weidenfeller’s whole family was probably shamed by it, and so here it is:

It felt like The Gods Knew, until both sides playing remembered that one of the sides playing is from Norway, and thusly bad at soccer. The comeback was on when Odds BK keeper Sondre Rossbach dropped an easy save at the feet of striker Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang in the goalmouth.

Just over a minute into the second half, Shinji Kagawa popped in a volley from the penalty spot to make the score 3-2 when Odds BK failed to clear. With a full half left to play, it kinda felt like Borussia Dortmund were Gonna Do The Shit. They Tied The Shit in the 76th minute, when substitute forward Adrián Ramos made a great run to the near post with the ball at the flank. When Odds BK’s sucker-ass center backs followed him, Aubameyang slid into the space behind him, and tapped it in.

We all know what happened next. Here’s the winning goal, six minutes from time:

This game was good and fun.

Photo via Associated Press; videos via Reddit