Something called Sergiy Stakhovsky just defeated Roger Federer in four sets at Wimbledon, which is less a tournament at this point than it is one of those Agatha Christie books where bodies keep piling up around some quaint English vicarage. Where do we start? Rafael Nadal got knocked out Monday. Maria Sharapova lost today. Caroline Wozniacki lost. French Open semifinalist* Jo-Wilfried Tsonga withdrew. John Isner did too. So did Victoria Azarenka. So did Marin Cilic. So did Radek Stepanek. Seven players withdrew or retired today, apparently a record for the Open era.

For Federer? It's the earliest he's been knocked out in a Grand Slam in a decade. He had made 36 consecutive quarterfinals in Grand Slams. That's nine years' worth of Grand Slam quarterfinals. Christ. This day.

*Fixed. Stupidly referred to him as a finalist earlier.