Deadspin: San Antonio Spurs

Tonight LeBron Needs To Eat Some Old Irish Hearts

Sam Eifling — Mon, 28 May 2012 19:20:57 EDT

Bumblederping around the Web today it's surprising to see how many people expect the Celtics to curl up and die quiet in their series against the Heat, which begins tonight. David Steele over at the Sporting News is among the rare authors who believe three future Hall of Famers plus a tripler of doubles in Rajon Rondo, plus the best Brandon Bass anyone has seen lately can actually beat a Boshless Heat. Fact he's expecting the C's to romp in six. It's that interior matchup. Without Bosh in the frontcourt Kevin Garnett is going to hold Joel Anthony to zero points per game, and Lebron is going to be forced to expend his (considerable) strength banging on the blocks, leaving Wade's careening as the only threat of any kind from outside, which is to say, if Miami needs Mario Chalmers bail-out 3s to spread the floor, yes, there may be some hope for Boston. More »

Manu Ginobili Tries To Dunk From One Step Inside Foul Line, Fails Miserably

Dom Cosentino — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 14:10:00 EDT

He did manage to successfully complete two other dunks during yesterday's win over the Jazz, but neither was as much fun to watch as this. [The Basketball Jones] More »

Tony Parker's Crossover Of Ramon Sessions Is So Good, Sessions's Teammate Applauds

Dom Cosentino — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 10:25:00 EDT

Parker goes from left to right so quickly, Sessions is left with an instant to wonder what happened before he makes a too-late attempt to recover. But what about Jordan Hill, in the headband on the Lakers' bench? Parker's move also seems to fake him into cheering for the wrong team. More »

The NBA.com Boxscore Has The Silliest (And Best) Explanation For Why Tim Duncan Didn't Play Tonight

Jack Dickey — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 22:45:30 EDT

Tim Duncan wasn't hurt tonight. He merely took a day off from the daunting post-lockout grind to rest his bones, and his Spurs beat the Sixers anyway, 93-76. The ESPN.com boxscore says "DNP-REST." The NBA's, pictured above, wasn't so politically correct. "DND-OLD." Poor, poor, old Tim Duncan. He turns 36 in a month. More »

The Spurs May Be Near The Top Of The NBA, But Their Tickets Are In The Cellar

Dom Cosentino — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 15:50:00 EDT

Time for another look at the least-wanted NBA tickets of the past month. The list of teams on the discount leaderboard is mostly what you'd expect: the Nets, Kings, Jazz, and Hornets, all lottery teams if the season were to end today. More »

Gregg Popovich Gets Belligerent When Talking About His Invisible Bowling Balls

Timothy Burke — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 09:00:00 EST

The San Antonio Spurs brought a heavy dose of Thorazine to Linsanity last night, dealing the Knicks their sixth loss in the last nine games. Coach Gregg Popovich, though, didn't see the therapy regimen through to the end—he got tossed in the third quarter. Fortunately, he was able to squeeze in this Joe Pesci impersonation before hitting the showers. More »

The Only Thing Worse Than A Drake Song Is A DeJuan Blair Cover Of A Drake Song

Emma Carmichael — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 17:45:00 EDT

Unlike his NBA brethren, who are working at the local Home Depots, assistant coaching at Division I schools, and throwing down in local leagues, Spurs forward DeJuan Blair is apparently spending his extended off-season recording covers of terrible pop songs that are a mere two months old. More »

Kawhi Leonard Is 11½ Inches

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 11:05:06 EDT

News 4 San Antonio is really, really excited about the size of Kawhi Leonard's hands. So much so that they put together this graphic comparing him to the newsroom, without bothering to specify what they're talking about. More »

Young Man Wants You To Realize The Grizzlies Beating The San Antonio Spurs Is A Really Big Deal

Brian Hickey — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 09:30:00 EDT

Your morning roundup for April 30, the day we deal with Ouzo hangovers from George Kalpaxis and Julie Herrmannsdoerfer's lovely wedding. More »

Here's How Gary Neal's Buzzer-Beater Sounded To San Antonio

Emma Carmichael — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 12:00:00 EDT

The Memphis Grizzlies announcers left something to be desired (mainly, any commentary whatsoever) after Gary Neal tied the game at the buzzer last night. Here's what it sounded like on the other side. More »

Gary Neal's Buzzer-Beating Three Keeps The Spurs Alive

Emma Carmichael — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 01:00:00 EDT

Gary Neal, everyone's favorite 26-year-old rookie/former Turkish basketball star/mystery man, was naturally the one to rescue the Spurs' season with this buzzer-beating three-pointer over O.J. Mayo on Wednesday night. More »

Real Men Support The Cleveland Indians By Kissing One Another On Live Television

Brian Hickey — Thu, 07 Apr 2011 09:30:00 EDT

Your morning roundup for April 7, the day that attempted courtroom eye-gouging became a no-no. More »

Front Row At The Spurs Game Is Awesome Until Ron Artest Spills Coffee In Your Face

Emma Carmichael — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 12:25:00 EST

This Spurs fan, identified only as "Bob," sure picked the wrong Spurs game to sit court-side for free in a white Oxford! Bob, to his credit, was very understanding about the coffee-in-face situation, even when Lisa Salters attempted to one-up him with yet another harrowing tale of gravity in the sideline interview. More »

Gary Neal Hits (Sort-Of) Game-Winning Circus Shot

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 12:20:09 EST

Neal's miracle heave at the end of the first quarter would prove to be the difference in an 89-88 Spurs win. Of course, by that logic, any two points were the difference. (Antonio McDyess's tip-in was the actual game-winner.) More »

Scenes From A Pittsburgh Restroom

Brian Hickey — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 09:30:00 EST

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »

Stanford Fan Should've Read His Sign Aloud Before Bringing It To The Game

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 10:00:00 EST

So Not The Eagles' O-Line Then?

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 29 Dec 2010 10:15:00 EST

Tony Parker's And Eva Longoria's Bland Fairytale Comes To An End

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 16:05:23 EST

Parker filed for divorce yesterday from his wife of three years. Spurs games just became less interesting, if that's possible. [TMZ] More »

Basketball Trivia Spotted On Jeopardy, Wrong Answers Closely Follow

David Matthews — Mon, 15 Nov 2010 10:10:00 EST

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The time is now to declare that College Jeopardy contestants just might not know very much about sports trivia. More »

Impressive Dunk Makes Announcer Shout Something Your Grandmother Might Say

David Matthews — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 11:30:00 EDT

With a clear lane to the hoop—thanks to Manu Ginobili getting burned going for a steal—Eric Gordon threw down a spectacular dunk last night. One that made Clippers play-by-play guy Ralph Lawler delightfully exclaim, "Oh me oh my!" [Awful Announcing] More »

Spurs Arena Host Charged With Harassing Reporter

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 11:05:00 EDT

Mike Lavender, a fixture at Spurs games, was charged with starting a Twitter account just to accuse a local TV reporter of having an affair with a married man. Was it the Coyote? I bet it was the Coyote. [Express-News] More »

Tell Me More, Tony And Eva, Tell Me More!

Ben Cohen — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 17:00:00 EST

Is there a better Christmas present than a freshly wrapped copy of Tony Parker and Eva Longoria lip-syncing along to "Summer Nights"? Actually, no. I don't believe there is. More »

Stay Away From Manu Ginobili's Fangs For Awhile

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 10:40:35 EST

The Spurs guard had to get rabies shots after taking down a vicious bat with his bare hands. So if you see him foaming at the mouth, he's definitely not infected with a horrible disease! [SA Express-News] More »

Argentina Tops Transylvania In Batsketball

Barry Petchesky — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 10:45:00 EST

Manu Ginobili's line: 13 points, three assists, one rebound, and one dead bat. You have to watch this one. More »

Bruce Bowen Retires To Focus On Cutthroat Hair Salon Business

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 13:30:58 EDT

Three-time NBA Champion Bruce Bowen is calling it a career at age 38. That should given him plenty of time to bum rush San Antonio hair spas and berate former employees for stealing his business. More »

Not Gay Richard Jefferson Let His Girl Down Easy

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 11:15:00 EDT

Richard Jefferson is in full damage control mode after supposedly dumping his fianceé by emailing her at the altar or something. He's setting the story straight about the Black AMEX, the shadiness, and the money. Oh, and the gayness. More »

Richard Jefferson In "The Runaway Groom"

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 09:45:15 EDT

New Spur Richard Jefferson was supposed to get married this weekend, but he put his fianceé on the train to Dumpsville just days before the nuptials. If only he'd remembered to tell his guests. More »

And You Thought Tony Parker Was Excited About The Richard Jefferson Trade

Barry Petchesky — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 13:45:00 EDT

The Spurs guard was in Paris this week, celebrating his brother's birthday with a bottle of champagne worth more than my life. [Faded Youth Blog] More »

Tony Parker Needs New Defensive Help

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 17:20:00 EDT

Like many rich people, Tony Parker's house is filled with valuable commodities. Or it was, until the security guard hired to protect said valuables decided to steal some and sell them on Craigslist instead. More »

Erick Dampier Should Not Think Out Loud

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 13:45:50 EDT

"Every time [Tony Parker] drives the lane, we have to put him on his back....My first foul Thursday night is going to put him on his back. I guarantee it." [Dallas Morning News] More »

The San Antonio Spurs Are Old And Broken

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 12:30:56 EDT

Manu Ginobili is out for the rest of the season with a stress fracture in his right ankle. Unfortunately, San Antonio's warranty has expired. [SA Express News] More »

30 Previews In 30 Days: The San Antonio Spurs

Basketbawful — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 11:00:06 EDT

NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that is NEW AND EXCITING!! (But not really.) They are: The San Antonio Spurs. More »

Shaquille O'Neal has a Few Things He's Like to Get Off of His Chest...

Basketbawful — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 13:30:41 EDT

Sports 620 KTAR showed up at Suns practice on Tuesday and provided The Big Angry with an opportunity to lay waste to everything in his path. The first target: Gregg Popovich, the yellow bastard who dared to (successfully) employ the Hack-a-Shaq strategy in last year's first round playoff series between the Spurs and Suns. More »

Lakers Worship Shiny Ball, Advance To Finals

Basketbawful — Fri, 30 May 2008 09:15:06 EDT

The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who has a funny feeling the Spurs aren't going to repeat this year. When he's not stating the glaringly obvious, he can be found mocking someone or something at Basketbawful. Enjoy! More »

NBA Playoffs: Lakers-Spurs, Game 5

Basketbawful — Thu, 29 May 2008 18:30:26 EDT

Basketbawful has broken out the highest quality Wiccan spell components — coffin nails, dead sea salt, glory water, graveyard dirt, and a very phallic ritual candle — to uncover the darkest mysteries of tonight's NBA playoff game. More »

Only People Not Upset About The Foul Call: The Spurs

Will Leitch — Wed, 28 May 2008 10:00:41 EDT

Of all the discussions and analysis of the foul-or-not-a-foul that probably cost the Spurs the Western Conference Finals last night, the one thing we can't get our minds around: Brent Barry was taking the last shot? Brent Barry? The guy who ruined the dunk contest? That Brent Barry? Well, jeez, no wonder he didn't get the call! Who in the world would give Brent Barry a call? More »

The Foul That Wasn't (But It Really Was)

Basketbawful — Wed, 28 May 2008 09:10:58 EDT

The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who can't wait to see how David Stern fixes tonight's Pistons-Celtics game in favor of Boston. When he's not coming up with new NBA Finals conspiracy theories, he can be found humming a jaunty tune at Basketbawful. Enjoy! More »

NBA Playoffs: Lakers-Spurs, Game 4

Basketbawful — Tue, 27 May 2008 19:00:25 EDT

Basketbawful has pulled out his Ouiji board, Magic 8-Ball and Tarot cards in order to give you a little prognostication for tonight's game. More »

Spurs-Lakers: First Blood, Part II

Basketbawful — Sat, 24 May 2008 12:30:00 EDT

The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's starting to get a very bad feeling about these playoffs. A very bad feeling. When he's having nightmares about another Lakers championship, he can be found crafting Kobe Bryant voodoo dolls at Basketbawful. Enjoy! More »

Another Reason For Stern To Fix The Western Conference Finals

Will Leitch — Wed, 21 May 2008 15:00:11 EDT

At this point, the adage that "David Stern doesn't want a Spurs-Pistons final" has become so commonplace as to become tired. But if you live in a world that pretends that Nielsen boxes actually mean anything — because no one's ever met anyone with a Nielsen box and you could track actual viewing patters using DVR and Tivo, but that would never happen because everyone pretends Nielsen knows what it's talking about, because without them there is chaos — Stern has good reason to want to see the Spurs go home early. More »