With AT&T Park being built next to the water, seagulls are bound to show up and stop by some San Francisco Giants games as they wind down. Lately, though, the gulls have been visiting in greater numbers, and they're fucking everything up.
An influx of Western Gulls, a species that usually nests on Alcatraz and the Farallon Islands, has raided AT&T Park, ruining baseball games for everybody. These feathered menaces are scavenging for leftover garlic fries, blocking TV cameras, and shitting all over the place.
These gulls are distracting players, too, so now the worst-case scenario is Brandon Crawford taking a line drive to the head because a seagull caught his eye. The park staff is looking into humane solutions—usually, the birds can be repelled with loud noises—but for now, the seagull menace remains.
My suggestion? The Giants should convince Randy Johnson to come out of retirement.
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