Deadspin

Brady Quinn Is A Giving Soul

• Brady Quinn gives out the nice draft gifts. [Joe Sports Fan]
• Fun sports you didn't know about. [Food Court Lunch]
• Ten useless sports jerseys. [The Love Of Sports]
• Your guide to heckling the Boston Red Sox. [Heckler's Prospectus]
• The true fun of going to NFL Draft parties. [AOL Fanhouse]
• The best names of the NFL Draft. [Paul Frankenstein]
• If we were DeShawn, we'd be honored too. [Sons Of Nev]
• Jay Mariotti, draft expert. [The Place To Be]

Tom Brady Is Out Of The Closet And Bent On Murder

If You Don't Like The NFL Draft, You Can Suck It: Your NFL Draft Jamboroo

Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo has been off since the end of the NFL season. But now, with Saturday's NFL draft looming, it returns, for one week only.

It's here? It's finally here? OH THANK YA SWEET JESUS, IT'S FINALLY HERE!!!! Every year, March rolls around and I think to myself, "Goddammit, where is the fucking draft already?" Yes, I know it's on the same weekend every year. But man oh man, does it take fucking forever to arrive.

The Tao Of Fred Ex

All You Can Eat For Just $35!

Berman Videos Want To Be Free

• We tried out the Media Approval Ratings.
• We were in Seattle, Oak Brook, Champaign and St. Peters.
• John Rocker on steroids. Really.
• How to bond in Ohio.
• ESPN was protested, kind of.
• We talked to the guy releasing all the Berman videos, and then we just posted them ourselves.
• Goodbye, Dennis Miller. Again.
• Dog show!
• Brady Quinn, offending his main fan base.
• Pitchers and catchers!
• Roger Clemens did wonders for his reputation.

That'll do it for us; we have a one day hiatus in New York on Monday before hitting the East Coast swing of Boston, Philadelphia and Washington, D.C. next week. So we'll try to rest up. We are very proud to introduce a new member of the weekend rotation: It's Christmas Ape, from Kissing Suzy Kolber, joins our crew, so make sure to welcome as he pretends to car about the NBA All-Star Game. Have fun out there, and we'll see you Monday.

No, You've Got It All Wrong, Fellas. Brady Quinn LOVES The Gays

Get Your Popcorn Ready ...

Our own Rick Chandler loves the old Saturday afternoon serials, and he really loves comic strips. So, to fill the time and Super Bowl piffle, he put together this special installment of Hercules' misadventures in our little world. He put a lot of time into it, so enjoy, or at least appreciate.

It all happens after the jump ...

NFL Playoff Blogdome

What they're saying about New York's 21-17 win over Dallas in the NFC Playoffs, plus maybe a few notes about San Diego's AFC win over Indianapolis as well ...

• Giants 21, Cowboys 17: A Big, Fat Choke. (The Cowboys) gave the game to the Giants in every way possible- offensively, defensively, special teams. Every single way. Remember that playoff drought? It's going to continue. The 2008 season will be year 12.We might need to look very closely at another team still in the playoffs for some inspiration: San Diego, which tanked its divisional round game last season only to rebound and make it to the AFC Championship Game. For us, this offseason is going to be even more unbearable than last year. [Know Your Dallas Cowboys]

Brady Quinn's Unfortunate Circumstances

Introducing The College Basketball Closer

Starting today, the College Basketball Closer will be written (more or less) daily by Jonah Keri. Jonah's work has appeared in a bunch of different publications, including ESPN.com, Baseball Prospectus, the New York Times, the New York Sun and YESNetwork.com. E-mail your questions, comments or Clarence Ceasar-related memories to jonahkeri@gmail.com.

My three favorite pastimes are obsessing over college basketball, cheesing off proponents of intelligent design, and acting out Shakespeare tragedies using tattered old Youppi! dolls. Since Will hasn't authorized me to do a fuzzy, orange King Lear, I figured I'd talk briefly about college hoops and evolution.

The Dregs Of Week 17

The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday, except for today, when it runs on Wednesday. Do enjoy.

• You know what's on at 1:00 today? Loads and loads of meaningless bullshit. New Orleans is the only team with something to play for, and there's only an outside chance that that one will mean something. Today is a good day for a nap.

• But then you'd miss out on CBS's heavy promotion of this new game show, where people go on TV, get hooked up to a polygraph, and are forced to expose their deep, dark secrets. "If you were sure you wouldn't be caught, would you cheat on your wife?" Let me save you the trouble, sweetheart ... yeah, he would. And now that we've broken up a happy marriage and destroyed two lives, we'll be right back after a word from our sponsors!

What's In And Out For 2008?

When The Saints Go Golfing

Top Ten Commenting Memes of 2007 That Should Die In 2008

To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week.

So here's this week's column, on comment memes our combudsman would like to see go away, is after the jump. Of course, don't be afraid to let him have it in the comments.

Belichick Bores You Simply Because He Can

Tiny tidbits and news niblets from Week 16 of the NFL ...

• You want to know the real genius of Bill Belichick? (Other than that hair.) It's that he has somehow made his team's games boring at the very moment we should be reveling in their streak toward history. The last two Patriots have been mostly uninspiring slogs ... and he seems to have designed it that way. Fortunately, the season finale will be on the NFL Network, so no one will have to watch it.

Welcome to Today's Closer ... Ladies ...

For the rest of 2007, the NHL Closer will be written by the fine folks at Melt Your Face Off. Enjoy.

NHL players come from all over the world to play in front of packed houses and on less-than-packed television broadcasts only available on your local cable provider's obscure digital sports tiers. Because of this, we end up cheering for people who began their lives in countries far away from here, America. (Fuck yeah!) They grew up skating on ponds that froze over amidst entirely different cultures - cultures that gave their parents the right to give them girly, girly names. It's not the fans' fault that so many stars in our sport are chirpy Quebecois and effeminate-sounding Eastern Europeans. Not everyone can be named Jeff Beukeboom, Rob Ray, or Scott Stevens. So for today's NHL Closer, we salute those players who probably would have gotten beat up during 3rd-grade recess for something they had no control over. (And in the process, turning the comments into a Demetri Martin lovefest.)

Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon.

Ho Ho Ho! Welcome to this very special Christmas edition of the Jamboroo. Now, I've made my wishlist, and I think it's in pretty good shape:

Year In Review: July

The NFL From The Ice Planet Hoth

The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy.

• By 12:45, two unusual things have happened today. 1) I got a phone call from my brother who just had a cigarette with Jim Leyland outside of Heinz Field ... and 2) Jason Krause is on the Sunday NFL Countdown set, running some kind of route against Mike Ditka.

• One disappointing thing that has not yet happened today: Mike Ditka did not forget where he was and crack Jason Krause's head open. I'm going to write Ditka a letter and tell him that Krause stole money from the NFLPA Pension Fund to buy baseball cards.

The Good Side Of Mr. Quinn

• A classy move from Brady Quinn. [First And Ten Inches]
• Brian Westbrook's infuriating fantasy day. [Randball]
• Sing, Dempsey, sing. [Oriole Post]
• Michael Vick's prison workout regimen. [The Angry T]
• Everybody really wants to be a quarterback. [One More Dying Quail]
• Soccer man crushes. [Being Sven]
• Some Florida State players will get the bowl game off. [More Credible]
• Fred Taylor's plan to finally get himself in the Pro Bowl. [Lion In Oil]
• Your Youkilis jock strap auction. [Red Sox Monster]

Year In Review: May

SHOTY Elite Eight: Kige Ramsey Vs. Brady Quinn

Praising Thigpen, Blasting Gibbs

The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy.

• There's a sign at the little Sean Taylor fan memorial that has a picture of Taylor with the words, "GIVE TOM LANDRY HELL" next to it. Assuming that the signmaker believes Sean Taylor's in heaven (and I've got to think that differing viewpoints would be rare in DC right now) ... can you do that? If you're in heaven, can you give someone hell? I've got to think that's frowned upon up there.

Reports Indicate Les Miles Reports Contradict Other Les Miles Reports - A Special Report

Hugh II: Sexy Pilgrims!

OK, I can handle watching Miami. I can handle Pam Ward. But I can't fucking handle ESPN's team introductions by pilgrims! Really? Is that necessary? (Though Pilgrim Elaine was kinda hot.) — Yunibomber

I just watched a freshman girls basketball game. This is code for "today's college football games are pretty pointless." — goathair

Heads up. Pam Ward's got her dick out on ESPN. — wwkornheiserd

This Week In The SSW

For years — OK, a couple of days — Slate writer Robert Weintraub has been tinkering with a concept called The SSW, short for "The Sean Salisbury Wisdom," which tracks the consensus of the football punditocracy to ensure those triumphant declarations from Friday aren't flushed down the memory hole on Monday. Here's this week's SSW.

PREVIOUS SSW

Pittsburgh holds the inside lane for the #2 seed and the right to be obliterated in the AFC title game by New England.

NEW SSW

This is the high point of Kellen Clemens' career—too bad the team plays again on Thursday.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S LESS

The Jets laid a physical beating on the Steelers like few teams have in recent memory. Forget the ManGenius—let's see more of this ManGNC.