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#wakeupdeadspin

Telestrator Dong: Elephantiasis Edition

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »
#deadspinxy

Stories That Don't Suck: A New Feature

Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to craggs@deadspin.com. More »

Decade Retrospective: 2008

We continue our year-by-year look back at the decade with the year 2008, back prohibition was the law of the land, back when Benjamin Franklin was running for his unprecedented fourth term as President. Simple times. More »

Decade Retrospective: 2006

We continue our year-by-year look back at the decade with the year 2006, back when Kurt Cobain was rising up the pop charts, back when James Cameron was dramatically overbudget on a little movie called The Abyss. Simple times. More »

TMZ Wins The Weekend

In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like TMZ, which might as well stand for "Tiger Media Zone" the way they've wrapped the Eldrick/Elin saga in a nice warm Snuggie of coverage. More »

Your Late Games Open Thread

Grab a snack from the kitchen (or, if you're JaMarcus Russell, a bag of Skittles from your waistband), and settle in for three hours of either Brett Favre or Matt Leinart. There are no winners.

LAST PICKLE IN THE JAR! Your Thanksgiving Jamboroo

Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed. More »
#weekendwinner

Tony Romo Wins The Weekend

In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Tony Romo, who won the weekend by not making a complete spectacle of himself. When no one notices you, you're probably doing your job right. More »
#nfl

Ochocinco Is Straight Cash

Why would a football player carry singles in their uniform pants? Heading to the strip club after the game? Buying off the refs? Or just throwing a little cheddar the Ravens' offense's way after having their way with them? More »
#ballsdeep

Why Are So Many Quarterbacks Kicking So Much Ass? Jamboroo, Week 9

Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed. More »
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