Remember that Communications 101 class you took where you'd spend hours inspecting the Land O Lakes package with a magnifying glass to search for penis-shaped trees? That was fun. But thankfully the United Football League has taken a less than subtle approach with its subliminal message. Yes, it very well could be a football launching a star out of it — or, as Ufford says, a "clam eating a starfish" — but whatever it is, it's obviously meant to titillate the senses in a way that most other professional football league logos do not. You know, ones that don't rely upon the questionable imagery of a pistachio deep-throating a Christmas ornament.

And what in the shaft-filled gash is the United Football League, you ask? It seems to be positioning itself as CBA-type farm system for the NFL, and is set to officially start its season in the fall of 2009 even though it's still deciding on locations for its 8 teams.

Its motto isn't helping either : "Where the future stars come to play!"

Oh. That's catchy. Stars come to...wait a second.

Umm... [With Leather]