Deadspin: Shaquille O Neal

Sadly, The World Will Never Know Who Shaq "Blames For That Shit" [UPDATE]

Timothy Burke — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 20:28:16 EST

This slip-up came at the tail end of a conversation on TNT about Twinkie-maker Hostess declaring bankruptcy, an entirely reasonable topic for a studio show previewing a night of NBA action. I assume it's that bankruptcy filing Shaquille O'Neal means by "that shit," but we were all sent to commercial before learning the answer. This is cable, of course, so Shaq can say whatever he wants—but given Sir Charles's slip-up last week it's cause to worry some suit may soon be stepping in to regulate the Inside The NBA circus. [TNT] More »

Here's The Saturday Night Live Sketch In Which Charles Barkley Does His Shaq Impersonation

Timothy Burke — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 10:43:26 EST

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Last night's Charles Barkley-hosted SNL was more miss than hit, and even some viewers of this five-minute riff on TNT's Inside The NBA called it "the worst ten minutes in SNL history." More »

In Case You Missed It, TNT Toppled A Christmas Tree Onto Shaq

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 10:20:00 EST

After years of trashing Chris Bosh (the "RuPaul of big men" comment in 2009, the "Big Two" reference earlier this year) the chickens finally came home to roost. On TNT's postgame show last night, the crew convinced O'Neal to take the last in-studio shot of 2011—in front of a precarious Christmas tree hiding an assailant in a Chris Bosh mask. More »

ShortCenter: Shaq Torments Stephen A. Smith

Matt Toder — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 11:20:09 EST

What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence. More »

In New Book, Shaq Explains How Kobe's Sexual Assault Charges Destroyed The Lakers

Jack Dickey — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 14:25:00 EDT

Shaq Uncut: My Story, the Diesel's new autobiography written with noted Around the Horn personage Jackie MacMullan, comes out November 15 and it dropped on our desk today. There's some juicy stuff in there, most obviously about the beef between Shaq and Kobe. We had always known that the feud took a turn for the worse during the 2003-04 season, but we never before knew what caused it. Now we have some insight. More »

This Is Shaq Speaking Out Against Anti-Gay Bullies

Dom Cosentino — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 13:25:00 EDT

First, Michael Irvin appeared on the cover of Out magazine this summer and acknowledged how he's come to accept his gay older brother. Now, here's Shaq teaming up with the folks from GLAAD to lend his own voice to the issue. Progress. [SLAM] More »

"Life Is Like A Jump Shot": Reviewing The Unremarkable History Of NBA Rappers

Emma Carmichael — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 17:00:00 EDT

NBA players like rapping, and that is a fact of the universe that we are powerless to stop. The way that I have tended to deal this phenomenon is generally to ignore it completely. It is shockingly easy to do: Just as I do with Kreayshawn, I pretend that NBA rappers do not exist, that they have never existed, and that one day, they actually will cease to exist, so that what I've been pretending all along will be true, and everything will be fine. More »

A Handy Timeline Guide To The Ongoing Hack-A-Shaq Saga

Emma Carmichael — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 14:15:00 EDT

A reader, who only wants credit to go to "Colin," has sent in this exhaustive guide to the Hack-A-Shaq saga that we've been dutifully (and somewhat regrettably) following for the past few weeks. We found this version—in familiar brick free-throw form (with artistic liberties taken as regards to his handedness)—more comprehensive than another commenter's take on the situation. More »

Former IT Guy "Will Ruin Shaq," One Embarrassing Leak At A Time

Emma Carmichael — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 15:15:00 EDT

If you can keep track of the Miami New Times's Hack-a-Shaq saga, then we salute you. It is an overlapping jumbled mess of blackmailing and threats and nearly indecipherable text messages. We tried drawing a visual aid for all of the accusations cataloged here, but we gave up, because there are, like, three mistresses named Vanessa, and they all think that Shaquille O'Neal had it in for them. More »

Shaq Listed "Binnochulars" Under "Special Skills" In His Miami Police Application

Emma Carmichael — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 18:00:00 EDT

The Miami New Times has taken on the admirable pursuit of making every single word that Shaquille O'Neal has ever typed or written available to the public. Through their work, we'd previously learned of Shaq's infidelity, his infidelity, and also his infidelity. More »

More Leaked Shaq Emails: "We Dnt Want Them Do What They R Doing To Tiger"

Emma Carmichael — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 12:00:00 EDT

If we all thought we might be in danger of having our emails leaked to the general public, we might write our emails differently. We might, for example, not exchange hypothetical emails with our hypothetical agents asking him to cover up hypothetical stories relating our infidelity. We might, hypothetically, type "are" instead of "r." But that's a difficult thing to plan for. More »

Dwyane Wade Tweeted That He Did Not Have A Thing With Lauren London, His Publicist Tells Us

Jack Dickey — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 15:05:00 EDT

You may have read in yesterday's Shaq email dump, courtesy of the Miami New Times, that Shaq didn't want any part of actress Lauren London (pictured at right) because she was Dwyane Wade's girl. More »

More Leaked Shaq Emails: "Where Can I Cum At When I C U"?

Emma Carmichael — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 12:00:00 EDT

Dominica Westling is famous for being, in her own website's words, "a gorgeous Swedish model turned Hollywood actress." For the past few years, she's also been referred to—by news reports and cash-hungry publicists alike—as Shaquille O'Neal's mistress. More »

Leaked Emails Show A Newsweek Reporter Trying To Set A Picky Shaq Up With Some Girls (He Only Wants Rihanna)

Jack Dickey — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 11:45:00 EDT

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As far as we know, Shaquille O'Neal—divorced a few years back—is happy with his comically out-of-proportion lover, Nicole "Hoopz" Alexander. More »

Watch Shaq And His Ladyfriend Do Parlor Tricks Involving Smoke

Brian Hickey — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 18:15:00 EDT

Bet Flavor Flav couldn't figure out how Shaq 'n Hoopz's bit of smoky magic came to be. (H/T The Hoop Doctors) More »

Shaq's New Girlfriend Is Admirably Comically Sized (UPDATE: This Is How They Kiss)

Jack Dickey — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 14:35:00 EDT

Maybe she could fit inside one of his long jean short legs? More »

Carmelo Anthony Is The Panda Whisperer

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 18:20:33 EDT

Melo is traveling across Asia on a Nike promotional tour, and as we all know there's nothing to do in China but pose with disoriented panda cubs on your lap. Look at that thing! Its little paws joined in supplication, its little panda cloaca (or whatever) splayed to the world. Panda doesn't care about Carmelo making his HAM face, panda just wants some bamboo. God, I want a panda. More »

Shaq Passes First Analyst Test By Dissing Chris Bosh On Air

Emma Carmichael — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 17:10:00 EDT

On NBA TV today: "The Miami Heat, they've got a lot of great players, the 'Big 2.' They will be back." Yeah, he and Chuck will get along just fine. [Miami Heat Index] More »

Shaq Hired To Hang Out With Charles Barkley On A Regular Basis

Emma Carmichael — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 11:25:00 EDT

Just six weeks into his retirement, Shaquille O'Neal has agreed to a multi-year deal with TNT to be a member of Inside the NBA. He'll join Charles Barkley, Kenny Smith, and ~~Kenny Anderson~~ Ernie Johnson in the cavernous studio next season, and because he is very weird — and as long as he doesn't encroach on any of the overly-established repartee — he should be a very good fit for the show. More »

These Two Guys Would've Gotten Away With Busting Into Coors Field If It Wasn't For A Pesky Security Guard

Brian Hickey — Sun, 19 Jun 2011 10:00:00 EDT

Your morning roundup for June 19, the day some sexy finally came out of the Vancouver riots (it starts at 0:45 of this video), and the day we all wish a Happy Father's Day to the appropriate person in our lives. More »

Shaq Has Not Yet Tweeted About Alleged Involvement In Kidnap/Robbery/Sex Tape Case

Emma Carmichael — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 17:00:00 EDT

TMZ reports that recent retiree and otherwise loveable human Shaq may be involved in a case that has seven Crips gang members "charged with robbery, kidnapping and other crimes" in their attempt to secure a tape that (allegedly) contains security footage of then-married Shaq having sex with other women. Head on over to the three-letter-word for the speculative twists! Or just read the L.A. Times . [TMZ; L.A. Times] More »

Shaq Calls Dwight Howard Beef "All Marketing," Newspaper Wonders If Cop-Out Is Attempt At Marketing

Emma Carmichael — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 18:55:00 EDT

The Orlando Sentinel has spent some time today getting to the bottom of that beef we all forgot ever existed because it centered around a nickname and involved the two NBA players most closely related to Dennis the Menace, and is thus more of a semi-competitive thumb war than anything resembling true beef. But alas, we are returning, hopefully for the final time, to Shaquille O'Neal, Dwight Howard, and the long-forgotten battle for the right to being called "Superman." More »

Shaq: One Of The Greatest To Ever Play And Star Of One Of The Most Awful Movies Ever Made

Emma Carmichael — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 19:50:00 EDT

We shared a few good stories with you today, and so we will end Wednesday with nothing but whimsy, from the man who has perhaps the best innate understanding of whimsy in the game. Here is Shaq, at age 24, emerging from a magic boombox as a freestyling genie with the promise of three wishes in the one-star wonder ("I gave this movie a 1 only because the scale didn't go into negative numbers") that was Kazaam. More »

Shaq Retires On Twitter

Emma Carmichael — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 15:01:37 EDT

Shaquille O'Neal took to his Twitter account minutes ago to announce his retirement before the official announcement of his retirement, which we will now announce to you, because this is the strange nature of the interwebs. We want to hug him, and to extend an invitation for him to take an honorary position as Deadspin retiree-in-residence. We already miss the big fella. More »

Remembering The Time Shaq And Nate Dogg "Made Paper And Footprints In LA"

Emma Carmichael — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 19:40:00 EDT

There was no shortage of tributes to the late great G-funk singer Nate Dogg today — he died in Los Angeles on Tuesday at the age of 41 — but we haven't yet seen this music video posted. The song, "Connected," was made for Shaq's never-released 2001 album, Shaquille O'Neal Presents His Superfriends, Vol. 1. There are a couple of forgettable verses from Shaq, who was entering his sixth season as a Laker and thus declared himself "the king of Los Angeles" (also curious: in the line "I brought the title by myself to Los Angeles," the words "by myself" are cut out?) and one from WC. Nate Dogg, of course, carries the track with his hook, which is just as smooth as the ones we know all of the words to. More »

Why Is Shaq Acting Like A Statue In Boston?

David Matthews — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 18:30:00 EDT

The Big Aristotle headed out to Harvard Square today and...stood still. For some reason. He announced his plans on Twitter, of course, and crowds soon engulfed the struggling actor and sometime law enforcement official. More »

Shaq Wants A Little Friend Not Named Nate Robinson

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 10:45:00 EDT

Shaq wants to buy the world's smallest horse. Of course he does. More »

Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Juiceboxes)

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 09:30:00 EDT

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »

Look At This Fucking Hoopster: "Shaquille O'Neal" Makes Out With Some Guy At A Party

David Matthews — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 17:45:00 EDT

An occasional feature in which we spotlight the ridiculous trend of recontextualized basketball jerseys. Today: The Diesel, Shaquille O'Neal. More »

Breaking News: Shaq Is Old, You Are Too

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 16:50:00 EDT

Mitchell & Ness, purveyors of vintage jerseys, are now selling the O'Neal 94-95 jersey as part of their Hardwood Classics series. More »

John Cusack, Chris Chelios and Eddie Vedder Walk Into A Ballpark...

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 09:30:00 EDT

Shaq and Awe: The Big Shakespeare On Social Media And The Influence Project

Fast Company — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 13:30:00 EDT

Fast Company's Mark Borden sat down with Shaquille O'Neal to discuss how social media—with an emphasis on Twitter—has changed the way that athletes can interact with their fans. More »

High School Footage Of Skinny Shaquille O'Neal Here To Make Cavs, Suns, Magic, LSU Fans Weep

David Matthews — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 16:45:21 EDT

Judging by the 8-and-6 he's averaging thus far in the playoffs, Shaq's career seems to be rapidly winding down. Marvel at this 20-year-old footage of him running the break and generally looking like Wilt and David Robinson rolled into one. [NBAOffseason.com] More »

Shaq Lip-Syncs To That One Rick Springfield Song, With Puppets

David Matthews — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 16:15:24 EDT

Shaquille O'Neal loves to have fun, and fun is what you get when you mix Shaq, puppets, and Rick Springfield's "Jessie's Girl." The only thing missing is a Chinese man named Cosmo lighting some fireworks. [Ustream] More »

The Canadian Woman, Seen Here In Her Natural Habitat

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 06:30:00 EST

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »

Shaq, Dwight Howard Resolve Nerdiest Beef Ever

Tommy Craggs — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 15:40:56 EST

Howard: "[T]here's no battle of nicknames. I mean, if he wants to be Superman, he can be Superman. But I never tried to steal that title from him or take away anything that he's done for the game." [ESPN] More »

Here's Kimbo Slice And Elton John, Just Because

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 06:30:00 EST

No, Shaq Didn't

Pareene — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 17:38:24 EST

Like many of you, I went to elementary school, high school and college. I took such and such classes, earned such and such grades, and amassed such and such degrees. More »

Yes Virgins, Shaq Did Have Sexual Relations With Gilbert Arenas' "Baby Mamma." You Can Blame Feminism For That.

Moe — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 17:33:48 EST

Last month, news reports began to surface that a centimillionaire professional athlete may have been unfaithful to his wife. Next someone's going to tell me Barney Frank is sodomist. More »

Nope, Kazaam Isn't Any Better In 3D

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 06:30:00 EST