Tell us how you really feel, Mo?
Mo Williams, who was an All-Star along with LeBron in Cleveland, is not following Decision 2.0 as closely as the rest of us—or at least so a story that's going around would have it. Speaking back home in Jackson, Mississippi, Williams supposedly detailed to a site called Sport SuperStarz how LeBron—his fellow "Thundercat"—blindsided his Cavalier teammates back in 2010.
The stuff is pretty sad, though funny if you think of it as Williams having the best sex of his life and not seeing the woman (LeBron) since.
"Bron had me blinded man. He wins you over completely. He makes you feel like you're his best friend. He'll party with you, train with you, dance on the sideline with you… Look, growing up I was obsessed with the Thundercats. Bron found out and he had this artist make me a painting where it was me playing basketball, but I looked like Panthro. He would call me Panthro all the time, and I called him Lion-O. We used to joke about how Dwight (Howard, then their nemesis with the Orlando Magic) was Mumm-Ra." I ask Williams where that painting is now, and he crumbles his napkin and tosses it over his shoulder, then shrugs. "I couldn't get Bron to pick up my calls for a week after 'The Decision,' so finally I just sent him a text, I just said, Lion-O would never leave Panthro out in the cold. Two days later I get a text back that says I'm a basketball player and a businessman, not a Thundercat. But that's how he is… That's who he is. He makes you feel like a million bucks and then steps over you like a bad penny on his way out the door."
Does Mo think Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade should be worried?
"A man lets you know who he is by how he treats others. D. Wade, Chris, Heat fans, they saw how Bron did me and the Cavs, so they shouldn't expect no sympathy from no one. You invite a vampire into your house, you gonna get bit. Simple as that."
OK, this is really, really great. But... the earliest evidence we find of it turning up online is at this message board thread, which links to a nonexistent original and has the article as carrying an apparently nonexistent byline. Sadly, this appears to be a (brilliant!) piss-take, but Mo will always be a Panthro fetishist in our hearts.
Update: Yep, fake.