So last weekend, a mother gave birth to a newborn, five-pound baby boy in an apartment in Zhejiang, China. Shortly thereafter, the mother flushed the baby, placenta and all, down the toilet.

Well...shit. That's a disgusting, tragic, unbelievable way for a newborn baby to die, right? Thing is, that baby didn't die. Two days later, the 22-year-old mother called the apartment's landlord complaining of "weird noises" from the pipe, which was four inches in diameter. The Mirror reports she'd hidden her pregnancy from her friends and family because it was a product of a one-night stand, and the Chinese don't do kids born out of wedlock. This explains the apartment delivery and subsequent baby drop into the toilet.

When the landlord peered down into the pipe, he saw the baby boy there and called local firefighters. According to Shanghaiist, those "weird noises" were the cries of the lodged baby. When authorities arrived on the scene, they cut that little soldier out of the pipe and took him to the hospital, where he made a full recovery. The mother, who was in serious condition herself, also had to be admitted to the hospital. Somehow, the mother and the father (who has asked for a paternity test) escaped being charged with anything. Even though babies born out of wedlock are killed or left for dead all the time in China due to tradition and stigma, the police bought the mother's story, and she was able to leave the hospital with the baby today.

Of course, this story got worldwide attention, and many have deemed a woman who'd drop her newborn in a toilet unfit for motherhood. Others have even offered to adopt the infant, whose name is temporarily Baby 59, after the hospital incubator it recovered in. And this brings us to the hero of our story: ex-cokehead-cum-soccer star Adrian Mutu.

Mutu, a 34-year-old Romanian forward who was once great, is perhaps most famous for being forced out of Chelsea in 2004 when he tested positive for that white girl. This started a long, arduos legal battle between Mutu and the club over breach of contract that ended in 2008, when the FIFA Dispute Resolution Center ruled that Mutu owed the Blues over 17 million euros. Meanwhile, Mutu went on to play for Italian side Juventus. And when Juventus was relegated from Serie A to Serie B in 2006 after a countrywide match-fixing scandal, Mutu was sold to Fiorentina, where he played shockingly well and sorta kinda repaired his image. He now plays for French side Ajaccio, and he wants Baby 59.

Mutu already has three kids, but was so moved when he saw the video that he wanted the little boy. He told a Romanian television station, “When I saw the baby I said, ‘I must adopt him, he has been sent to me by God.”

The only problem with this is that even though God may have done most of the heavy lifting in this saga, Mutu has to finish the job. And finishing that job seems impossible, since China has only approved 17 countries to adopt their Children. Romania isn't one of those 17.

So it doesn't look like Mutu will be the savior this kid probably needs, and it's still unclear whether the baby will ultimately be given up for adoption. But given how Baby 59 was brought into the world only to be dropped in a toilet pipe for two days, there's nowhere to go from here but up.

[Mirror]

h/t to MJ